Tribute to J.S. Bach and Yehudi Menuhin

I apologise Bach, for I have been complaining non-stop how difficult it is to bring out the "voice" in your music. When I finally heard the CD and see Yehudi Menuhin play, one of the greatest violinists in the 20th Century. Simply brilliant. You will see his strokes and bowing and fingers so nimbly running across the violin. I finally understood what contrapuntal music means, the interweaving of melodies and only great violinists and literally make the violin speak.

There's literally a hidden melody beneath the surface music. No wonder my violin teacher tried his darnest to let me understand how to bring out the melody and ooooh...it finally makes sense to me now...:P

I am very touched by this playing, so delightful! It's not stressful, its simply pure enjoyment! Okay, I apologise Bach, for not doing justice to your piece. Forgive me! Help me Lord! I am playing a far cry from this~~~ arghh!

Emotions needed?!

I had been preparing for my Violin Grade 8 Practical Exams since last year and its been 1 and half years now. This path as not been easy and I am waiting with bated breath for 27th August 2009 when I would be taking the exams. And this would determine my career or my future with the violin.

Indeed as I look back, it has been a long and difficult path to undertake. I want to come back to this blog again and testify about God's goodness when I pass my Violin Grade 8 Exams. A few months back, I want to cry practising for all my 3 violin exam pieces. Now having reached Grade 8, the pieces are at least 4 pages long. At a few points in time, I was so stressed or tensed up that my fingers will go numb or my arms will cramp!

It's such a torture for me to play a difficult piece like Henri Wieniawski's Legende Op. 17. It starts with a mellow tune before crescendo to high melodrama which requires techniques and skill that I was not yet able to accomplish. The double stops, the key change, the crescendo leading to a high forte in the high "G" double stop notes, before scaling down in chromatic fashion notes.... I tell you that part alone, My dear Auntie terms it as screeching of the chickens, while my mum complains that it gives her a nasty headache. My dad ABSOLUTELY dislikes the double stops part in the key change.

But I still thank God.

He allow that particular something to happen to me that caused me to wonder, to ponder long hours, to weep, to wail, to cry out in frustration...exactly just what emotions the song needed in the background. When I looked back...hey, thank God for that experience! Otherwise, I would not be able to think or even comprehend the emotions needed to project the song!

Okay la, emotions set, pianist set, violinist can or not???? Only You can help me Lord! I try my best amidst painful, peeling fingertips, loads of marking and work...sigh...

Do look at the video below of David Horvat , 10-yr old boy playing with such finesse the piece which I am talking about. Notice his incredible technique at such a young age. Fantastic. This is easily my favourite version of all those found on YouTube.

Presenting Legende Op. 17 - Wieniawski...take a listen and be swept by his wonderful performance and the swaying tempestuous emotions in the background. Boy the composer must have a hard life! :P

Great Testimony!

Me at Heroes - Church Camp 2009!

Just a testimony to share to everyone on once again the goodness of God.

I have certainly looked beyond promotions and positions because after hearing the sermon on Sunday and sharing with CK yesterday during lunch. I am more assured that God has placed in me the place now where exactly He wants me to be.

During Sunday, Cara shared that in a meeting of the Post Sept. 11 survivors, people around were asked what exactly they were doing out of the office as a result that they were saved.

One shared that it was his turn to get coffee and doughnuts that morning.

One had an irritating telephone call that he had to stop to answer it.

One had a pair of brand new shoes and it caused blisters so he had to to turn to a drugstore to get band-aid.

Another had a child who refused to get ready for school so she was being delayed in coming for work.

Many times we ask God why are we having "delayed gratification" of our earthly desires? Why can't we reach the place on time? Why must I get stuck in a traffic Jam? Or why must I visit the toilet at this time? Or why did I miss this round of promotion AGAIN? Why have I missed the right guy of my dreams again?

God has exactly placed us at this point of time because its in His will to do so. He has the bigger picture in view. We do not see it. The little inconveniences in life actually are there to help us, to save us, to keep us going...

Was sharing to CK that if God wills us to be in a position of leadership, it will be when He will honour our every little actions and words, be it they seem mundane or not.

Was at rehearsals with the kids when the coordinator spoke to me that she would like to meet me and one other teacher to be briefed on upcoming details on the rehearsals. I told the other teachers about this coming meeting already expecting myself to attend the meeting. But to my surprise, when this particular person heard that only 2 teachers are needed to be present, she promptly called along another person and told me to stay behind to look after the kids while they attended the meeting.

There was this anger burning in me already. I felt like telling her "Hey, she called me along first." I could have just argued there and then that I want to attend the meeting so there. I was held back by the Holy Spirit. A voice inside me told me to let go and stay behind in the hall with the kids.

I obeyed and took up my needle and thread and started sewing back the bells for the kids on their props. The bells are prone to keep falling out as the kids have to keep swinging it to and fro.

I had been doing this seemingly mundane job for two days already. To my surprise, there was this reporter who was shooting pictures of the children rehearsing and started snapping pictures of me. He asked me if I was a parent or a teacher. I proudly replied that I was a teacher. You could imagine the look of surprise on the face of the teacher who came back from the meeting to find me being interviewed and having my photos snapped. I was in the limelight!

God will use you in amazing ways. Even in the most mundane of tasks, He will place you in the highest place of honour as long as you keep listening to Him and following His word.

Today this verse, "Seek first His kingdom and righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well." Matthew 6:33, has reached a new meaning to me.

This has come full circle. From the many times and years of my life that I had concentrated on other parts of my life, I have not reached the fullest potential, even neglecting to address other issues of my life. I have wanted to compromise many of my standards just to reach the things I want.

Learn from church camp that compromise will take away God's favour and call in our lives. I strive to live my life fully to the Lord as a single. I am sure God is my provider and He will supply all my needs. Amen! :)

Am certainly much happier now..:P

Forgiveness is releasing yourself from prison?

Ever felt imprisoned? Self imposed hurts and expectations of people and expecting others to feel the same pain as you is funny. Went to a seminar once. It's like drinking poison and wishing the other person to die.

I don't want to be caught up in that situation. Forgive bah, it will not change anything or reset the situation back to before but at least your soul is not slowly being eaten away. Jia you Rachel Tham! You can do it!

Look on ahead to the goodness of God in your life! Move on!

My another year long plus episode...

It started in Dec 2007. It ended just last Saturday 30 May 2009. All I could say that I had missed the chance and I had lost it once again. That very fateful day in fact. My hopes and dreams were crushed. Can say also it could be a fantasy? Did I really hear wrongly God? What do I do now from here? I heard the most terrible news in years and the worst thing is the person whom I cared about has kept in from me for 2 years.

I have been crying for the past 4 days now...unable to sleep. Its too heart-wrenching. I can't even face the person and talk properly. But somehow, God is the strength of my heart He still gave me the grace to work.

Deliver me from this pain Lord and I remember the sermon and even many video clips this week that God says "My grace is sufficient for you, My power is made perfect in your weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9

This has ended another episode of my life, bittersweet too but many times, hurting. Could God turn things around? I dare not hope...

Clothes Exchange Party

Yesterday went to a mini- scaled down "Clothes Exchange Party" cum a Colours and You grooming workshop. I was thoroughly entertained throughout the session and it was unlike what I had thought it was. I got to identify myself as a "Cool" colours person and even someone who could take high contrast and intensity! Am shocked.

When the trainer Leah, took the colour samples for me, all the ladies who participated in the event were very good in group critiques. We evaluated each other styles, colour sense and even hair styles. Boy was I shocked to know that I have a lot to change. When Leah removed my favourite colour scheme one by one, I was stressed because she had removed the palate with contained most of my favourite shades of colour not to mention yes....practically my whole wardrobe of clothes!!

I looked in horror as I mentally counted the pieces of clothing which I had seemingly bought the wrong colour and even the wrong shade!

The session was fun cos I managed to get to know a few girls who all faced the same problem as me...buying the wrong type of clothes all the time, Pey Herng, Melissa, Kay etc.

Now comes the fun part. The clothes exchange! Each of us were to bring up to 5 items we had not worn for the past 1 year and put it up for exchange in the event if that piece of clothing is more suitable for others. We were all very garang. I had flipped through my accessories and clothes, managed to forgo a brown polka-dot BYS1 top. But i got back in exchange a ALLURE evening dress and a GG<5 blue top! Happiness!

Its so fun to see that the things u dun really wear actually suit another person. Clothes exchange is already widely practised in the States, Britain and Canada. As we ladies usually have a lot of impulse buys, we chop up things at first sight, only to realise that we dun really like what we bought. Found out from JN and Ms Lau that we all have clothes that could be sitting in our wardrobe for more than 2 years! High time we gather all these finds and get other things instead hahah...

Clothes Exchange anyone? Can't wait for the next few sessions...:)

Cut The Rope - Trust in Him

Cut the Rope

The story is told of a mountain climber who desperately wanted to conquer the Aconcagua, the highest mountain in the Argentine Andes. He initiated his climb after years of preparation. Because he wanted the glory all to himself, he went up alone.
As the day passed and it began to get dark, he did not stop to camp for the night but kept going. Night fell. There was no moon. Clouds covered the stars. Visibility was zero. Everything was black.

As the climber neared a ridge at about a hundred meters from the top, he slipped and fell into the total darkness below. In those anguishing moments when he was in free fall, memories flashed through his mind, both good and bad. He was certain he would die.

But then a jolt almost tore him in half. Like any sensible mountain climber, he had used pitons and a long rope tied around his waist to stake himself to the mountain. The top piton held, and the rope broke his fall.

He groped in the darkness for the side of the mountain, but it was out of reach. In the terrifying moments that followed, as he hung suspended, he cried out in desperation, "Help me, God ! Help me ! ". Then he heard a voice from Heaven. " Cut the rope !"

" What ? "

" Cut the rope !"

More stillness followed, as the man held all the tighter and swung slowly back and forth, hoping in vain to make contact with the side of the mountain.

Other climbers found him the next day, still hanging from the mountain, frozen to death ... two feet above a wide ledge. Unseen by him, the ledge would have been a safe spot where he could have dropped, recovered, built a small fire for warmth, and camped for the night.

It's a tragic story and hopefully not true, but it illustrates a point. Do you put your confidence in some "rope" ? Or can you trust God with those things that are beyond your control ? Why don't you let go ? God has great and marvelous things in store for you. Cut the rope and simply trust Him.


Heard this story today again during shepherding when CC shared to me. There's another version to this story. The person actually let go and survived the fall. Many times, God could see the big picture of things while we can't. He chose to say 'Yes' or "No' or even 'Wait' because He knows and He could see...

I have been holding on to this certain rope in my life for years...it just manifested itself into many different forms. I find it hard to let go. Recently God had spoken to me that unless I deal with the matter of my heart relationship with Him no door will be opened for me and my prayers will be left unanswered. This week, He FINALLY opened the door. I have been crying since I read and saw the email, praying through the decision. We hear 'CUT the ROPE'! Its not easy.

I fear the worst, I fear the unknown. Especially when that 'rope' in your life at this point of time is when you saw how secure it is and on it lies all your hopes and dreams. Yes, the door is opened waiting for me to go through. I still love the old 'rope' around me you know? sigh...

End my troubles earlier bah...

Waist long hair!

Yes! Ladies and gentlemen after sooooo many years, my hair length has finally reached WAIST LENGTH! Am really thinking whether to chop it off or not. It really cost a lot to cut it you know. Can't really afford the rates.

But teaching PE lessons under a 35 degree hot sun and scorching weather, it really tempting to cut off you know? Aiyah...hiao la...can't really bear to part with it. Am so afraid now you know that my hair will get caught in doors, bus doors, MRT trains... etc.

How? How?