Walked through the Valley of Shadow, darkness and cold and back

Hey ya all,

I have not allowed people to access my blog for a few reasons, I have realised that a few of my colleagues have accessed my blog and has used the contents maliciously whereas it is only an avenue for me to air my views and not to harm anyone.

I have been through a lot the past few months and after a 2 year battle with my condition, I decided to go for my minor op on the 9th September 2010.

I had two growths in my womb that for the past two years has been giving me pain and bleeding intermittenly. I went through great emotional stress and pain, tears flowed like no one's business for all the papers and procedures that I had to go through that were both painful and full of embarassment.

I remember the stigma of signing the papers, going through the screening and tests, and all the doctor's visits and waiting... I was very scared to go through it. Finally, after much prayers and consultation from the church sisters and asking God, I am glad that I have the peace to go through it.

I was unable to sleep that night. Woke up at 6 am to take the medicine which was supposed to expand my womb. It caused much pain and bleeding. Arrived at the hospital, glad to see siter Inn Siew there who shared with me much jokes and experiences which really cheered me up and gave me strength.

8am

9am

10 plus am finally made to wait inside the women's ward after changing into the surgery clothes. My mind was already in a whirl with all the procedures and last minute questioning and more papers to sign. It is very very very cold in the ward and I requested for 2 hot blankets over me.

This I went through with much prayers in my heart to the Lord for strength and peace.

10.53am

I walked to the Operating Theatre with the accompanying Staff Nurse. The cold overwhelmed me as I was already shivering with I dunno with fear or really the cold. More questions and more papers to sign for the release of anaesthetic and all. I got a painful jab in my left hand for the drip and ultimately the painkillers to be injected.

Surgeon was late.

Finally at around 11 am, I went inside the operating theatre could hear the heartbeat monitor strapped to my finger and the BP wrapped around my arm. I spent at least 5 minutes shivering in the cold and staring at the lamps in the Operating Theatre, a phone call and that was it..

I had a mask over me and a tube into my mouth the medicine tasted horrible, next thing i knew I had a burning sensation over my left veins and I was knocked out within a few seconds. The moment I woke up I was in pain in the lower area.

I still felt the anaethetic in my throat and wanted to puke badly. I felt the heartbeat monitor and BP wrapped around my arm still. I coughed out the tube and mouthpiece. In my blur state, I asked the nurse, "Is the procedure over?" "Yes", she replied much to my shock.

12:18pm I got the time from her.

My head was very heavy and I wanted to puke badly. Every moving image around me was causing me to nauseate. The moving people, the wheeling of my bed from one ward to the next, the moving images on TV. I succumbed to sleep again.

2:00pm

Finally, the doctor came to review me and Sarah who was waiting outside came to see me. Am I so glad to see her and when the nurse Linda fed me with Milo and biscuits I finished all of them with a flourish. Mighty hungry after you fasted for a good 18 hours.

I dun wanna describe what I saw after I changed but the bleeding and pain did not stop. Really wanna thank all my friends and God who has always been with me and have been keeping me in prayers. It was a nerve-wrecking experience but it did caused me to be even stronger to face the tougher sides of life.

Come what may...till the next obstacle..

Don't Dance So fast...

Time Really flies...Everytime I want to put down something that I want to do for the year, the time just slips by before I can even get down to accomplish it...I look back at all my years...the time just fly it does you know...I am so busy, so tied up with stuff...Do I want to carry on with life rushing from one side to another?

I look back at 2009:

1) I have gotten my Grade 8 Violin, my childhood dream accomplished after so many years.

2) I have travelled alone to Taiwan. Yes, Stayed alone in hotels in Taiwan. Ate alone, took the bus and trains alone to places...yes done that..

3) I have loved much, forgiven much and moved on.

4) I have risen up to be a Core Team member in my church.

I have many firsts, things which I would never do again if not for that season of life...I thank the Lord Jesus for a wonderful 2009 and I know that 2010 would be fantastic for me with more opportunities and more hope and joy!

I love this next poem from Mountain Wings...I hope I don't dance so fast again this year...

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MountainWings A MountainWings Moment#1310
Wings Over The Mountains of Life
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Don't Dance So Fast
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Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun of the fading night?

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.
Do you run through each day On the fly?

When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done Do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head?

You'd better slow down
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call and say hi

You'd better slow down.
Don't dance so fast.

Time is short.
The music won't last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift....

Thrown away.

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

~Author Unknown~