Feeling the pits, uplifted by the children's faces!

I just had my lesson observation yesterday...did quite a lot of effort in the lesson planning and in preparing for the lesson. My NIE supervisor came and....failed me...I felt in the pits the whole of yesterday and because of her decision, she would have to come down two more times to assess me instead of the original 2 times.

It's rather rushed for me two more times on the 2nd April and 10th April and at press time, I am now in the staff room rushing out my lesson plans for tomorrow and on the 3rd. For the trainees reading this, I have preparing a K-W-L lesson and its a lot of logistics...scary...that's what she's looking out for in assessing me. The tuning in itself, I would have to brainstorm poems, stories and pictures of the character which I would introducing the children, Florence Nightingale.

I began asking myself, why did I put in so much effort for if its not appreciated? Took me quite a while to put down the pride and move on... These pictures of my class, 4 Patience, in their storytelling sessions during their English Lesson encouraged me alot.. This is what I am looking out for, I told J "Ah Beng" T that when you see the children's expressions like this, the appreciation, what eagerness to learn and to present to you, money can't buy all these...You would really appreciate them for their innocence and sweetness...Even the principal came and spoke to me about my assessment results...so scary and emotional stressful. I remembered God called me to this job...two years ago..it will and it shall be!

Sigh, back to burning more brain cells for the lesson tml...



Kristoffer with this Bionic Man getup!
Qin Zhe did a very short act of his bear and shot back to his seat! Kuan Wei did a very interesting "Fire-walking" scene from The wonderful story of Henry Sugar by Roald Dahl
Jia Min was playing a rooster!

Mosaic Music Festival 2007 - Kuh Ledesma and Regine Velasquez 14th March 2007

It was the March School Holidays for students and teachers alike (hee hee)...being too miserable for being sick too long...received an sms from Ming Ju from MCSS...Mosaic Music Festival is on for the whole week at the Esplanade! I did not know that teachers can actually claim the cost of concerts from the LBS incentive that the Ministry had offered to teachers!
Wow! blew my mind...really badly wanted to upgrade myself in terms of resources and exposure to more cultural stuff...The whole week was full of great acts at the Esplanade!
I drove my dad's car and wanted to uplift my spirits a bit...its was spectacular. The two divas from Philippines were really wonderful! Regine, I think most people can remember her from the song she sang with Jacky Cheung, "In Love With You", the other one i was unfamiliar.
They sang many cover versions of Whitney Houston, Bette Midler, Babbara Streisand, and of course, conversed quite a bit in Tagalog to the mostly Filipinos and Filipinas!

They are indeed a very musical people, throughout the show, there were constant clapping, swaying dancing and singing to the songs that they sang! The crowd is very supportive and the two divas are indeed very popular among their fellow countrymen. MingJu and me totally enjoyed ourselves ...we could identify with quite a number of the songs mah...
After the concert, me and MingJu actually bought their albums, and went to queue up the autograph session! Had a great time getting to know about the Philippino culture by chatting with the people in front and behind us...so fun! I actually went ahead, got my CDs signed and even posed for a photo shot! Aiyah, when you are sick for too long, pamper yourself a bit la with treats like this..:D



Me with MingJu at the queue for autographs!
Me with Regine Velasquez, isn't she beautiful?

MingJu with Kuh Ledesma

Sickly Rac!

I can't believe it...I have been coughing and having a stuck nose for the past 1 week plus! When will the cough go away? Please heal me Lord! I dun wanna be 'Nasal Miss Tham' for another week!

What's in a name?

Well, looks like I have gained myself a new moniker today after worship practice thanks to Gerald!

The musios for the Easter Services Team introduced themselves , we have Shirley M, Joanne, Walmond, Geo, Gerald,Ron, Wanqi, IZ, Eugene, Maia, Sijia and me. The girls were teased by their last syllable, i.e. Qi Qi and Jia Jia (liang teh) - read in sacharine sweet voices by the guys...terrible right?

Gerald:"This is THAM THAM (wet wet in Hokkien)"

Isaac:"Oh, then the group Wet Wet Wet will be called THAM THAM THAM lor!"

Rac: ... ... ...

I have been called, "Lioness", "Qi Seen"(read in Cantonese), Ah Tham and many other unmentionables....Gosh...THAM THAM?? This is an ultimate...:S

It's always an English Problem?

Talking about heart languages.

What's your heart language? I am pretty much a Chinese and Cantonese language kinda person. Somehow, I think in Chinese and what comes out of my mouth is mostly Chinese and Cantonese.But the paradox is I write better in English. Lately, been teaching in a neighbourhood school in Punggol, and the kids are mostly heartlanders not like the previous school that I have taught in where the kids are mostly English speaking.

Have u met people who simply refused to READ instructions or rules and regulations when its written in something they dun understand? They just try la to follow the norm and do what they feel that the instruction or rules are trying to tell them..haha.. Well, teach and you would know. My P4 children simply shun the questions when they are written in English. Or even instructions in the exam paper!! Me being an English and Maths teacher, tried my utmost to explain the Maths question in English...what I get? Blank faces, huh? remarks...then i know..It's time for an educator's exercise of flexibility. I SWITCHED THE EXPLANATION IN CHINESE! Voila! immediately I get the answer to the questions I wanted to see. It's not a Maths problem now...definitely an English Problem haha..its the problem of trying to understand what the question is asking you...They are smart kids really. You just need to speak the right thing.

Well, some people really do comprehend things betta in a certain language than others, we can't blame them, its rather what you speak most or the friends around you that speak that makes your heart language. I get touched in the heart a lot by English songs when I was in Secondary 1 and 2 cos my group of friends were "ang moh" speaking. Then come Sec 3 and 4 to JC days... most of friends spoke Chinese, even now as NIE trainees, you see a group of us conversing in Chinese during ENGLISH lessons. I can't help it.. the sure intensity of words spoken in my heart language had such a better way of driving home the point that was expressed instead of others.

Hopeless romantic I am...I was packing my room that day for CNY and saw old letters and cards written to me...how sweet were the words written and how it still stirs my heart a bit even today many many years after I have received them! ah Words - my love language is it not? haha..

Received a phone call today, it was obviously a foreigner struggling to converse in English to make an appointment today for my insurance policy review...argh...being a teacher has its occupational hazards...You know what's burning within me? I wanted to go ahead right from the start and correct her pronunciation, correct her grammar and her parts of speech...ya da ya da...that's it...show some grace Rachel Tham...converse in Chinese la...Voila! I get a clearer picture of what's going on instead of having a 2-sided struggle over both sides of the phone.

I remembered learning my broken Hokkien as a Sales Executive during my 6-months break prior to University. You see uncles and aunties, opening up to you their sorrows and woes and the amazing thing is...they buy up your product!! Wow!

Speaking the heart language in the missions field also has its power. Nebbermind about the stumbles you get in getting the slang right. By the fact that you are trying very hard when you are speaking to the locals in their language, things get by rather easier for you. You get help fast! A basic "Thank you", "Have a nice day" or "God Bless You" has its power spoken in the native tongue. The locals of the places you are visiting started to open up to you in mysterious ways. I remember this incident when I was in Japan chatting up with this business woman on the bus. What with my broken Japanese can convey, I managed to get her name, her occupation, where she stays and her dreams for her life! Same goes for my other trips elsewhere..people feel this link, this connection with you and this makes me feel very excited on doing missions work especially in a place whereby learning the local language would definitely be a challenge.

Speak the right language...it's not always an English Problem....:P

Dealing with Jealousy

Jealousy is eating my life.
It goes beyond what people say as the terrible "green-eyed monster" and the habits and actions that people always associate with.
I struggle with jealousy from as long as I can remember. From my childhood days of my mum showing favourtism over my younger sis than me. I was hurt. I was terrible dejected. I am not exactly the brightest kid in the family, my academic results are okay la, better than average but she's not satisfied, very silly me always get into trouble in school. My sister always seemed to be favoured. She tops the whole school in her PSLE. Her aggregate score of 281 of which that year's highest is 284, her projects and her concerts are always a must-go for my parents, even till now..They only went to mine - ONCE. We are a family of performers you see, us 3 sisters, we sing, we dance, act and yes, play instruments.

Sad right? I tend to feel unappreciated and unloved most of the time and so...my only other friend in the family is my maid - My aunt Marie, who has been with our family for *drumroll* 18 years. I share to her everything, my heartaches and pains and growing pains.

This sense of insecurity has led me to do many things over the span of my childhood. I thank God for one thing that despite living like that, He did not take away my sense of humour and mischief. But it manifests itself, and believe it, i know it myself, sometimes an tremendous awful attempt to get attention. I develop I think this inferiority complex that if I am not good in something, prolly Mum will never notice me, let alone the people around me will notice me. I strive myself into proving one thing that I am good at, the arts - Music, Art and Literature.
I used to take up language and art classes and now I am in music lessons to improve my skills.

Until I met God.

He showed me how loved and appreciated I was and that I do not need to be popular among friends to know that I am appreciated or loved. True love from God which sees you as a person and your inherent value already, not what you try to put on yourself. But then again, the Jealous heart of mine takes a long time to heal. Arguments break out and sometimes I just shun myself in a corner or turn literally "green" haha... I cannot handle it. I ask myself silly questions, "Why must she get all that she ever wanted? Am I not good enough?" or "Ohhh can't he see that I can do it too?" This complex in me have had strained quite a lot of relationships and friendships over the years and it goes to show that I do not need to grow in just the heart part, its the understanding and trust that I need to place first in God and then in people.

I find myself getting frightfully angry at things. Forming thoughts of people which I could not have imagined. I shudder now to think of such things and pictures could actually come out of my head. This struggle is so hard at times. I show it all out. I can't hide my emotions well at times.

I can only ask God to help me, I will personally journal it down and realise....how silly I am and how crazy the things I get jealous over really is...I can only hope that this constant turmoil in my mind and heart will be soothed. What other assurance do I need? Only You ....