Pray with a glad and sincere heart...

How do I leave...?

Do I go....?

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Pics of my "idols" continued...

 

Hugh Jackman, ah, another fine gentleman, our dear Wolverine! He cuts a very suave and dashing image whenever he's on screen. A real eye candy!

 

Dr. Vivien Balakrishnan! I actually shook hands with him once! I rem it was one of those Generation Acts Club activities when we invited him to Orchard Hotel for a Youth Forum. Those who can rem that event that's in 2003! I admire his charm and cause for youth development.

 

Wang Lee Hom, I listen to a lot of R & B songs and he is in the same ranks as David Tao and of course Jay Chou! I told my sis once, you just have to look at his profile and he's so good looking! A very talented guy, plays at least 5 instruments I heard.

 

Jay Chou! Jay Chou! Am crazy over him. I think I blogged about this before. Yes, he's the typical "beng" but he's cool.:P Quite a character la this guy, been asked this question by Mr D before if put Wang Lee Hom and Jay Chou together which one would I pick? I told him Jay Chou of course! although Lee Hom would probably talk to me more la....

Okay one of those bo liao posting...:P Trying to boost myself a bit la... 

Pics of my "idols"

Thought this is rather farnie after WAM music practice that night when IZ blurt out to Fenn, "You all are too into idolatry!" Such a strong word! :P We were teasing him about why the WANG LEE HOM CD was so wet after he came out of the washroom...the gals all complained that IZ did not know how to take care of the CD.
OKay....shall post about my past "idols" when I was growing up...some of them still make me goo-goo ga ga over them la...Jesus for example...:D

in the 1980s
 

Who could forget Aaron Kwok? My pri sch and sec school craze... I searched the Net for the old pic of him! haha i think the signature hand gestures "dui ni ai ai ai by waaaaan" still rings among all of us.:P

 

Jin Chen Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro. Wah this guy still makes me smile la, Can you all believe it? I have caught most of his movies, all the Jap Dramas...be it they are flops or not.His features are so pretty! :P

 

Kimura Takuya, yeah another Jap guy, was a super Jap drama fanatic! Watched a lot of Jap drams and listened to SMAP songs then back in early uni days la...You all know that "SMAP" stands for "Sports and Music Assemble People"?

 

Anthony Hopkins! This guy is a classic. I love the way he speaks, very gentlemanly, very "English" loved thespian actors, they really can put in emotions and expressions into their work. Weird taste I have...

To be continued... 

Christmas is coming! My favourite time for the year..:)

To You Alone

This is another gem, we have not sung it before, from the Hillsongs Album "For All You've Done" Disc 2

This song really spoke to me a lot recently and been singing it quite a lot...enjoy!

To You Alone
Reuben Morgan

Key: G
Verse 1:
D/C C G/B
Every knee will bow
D/C C G/B
And every tongue con - fess
Bb F/A
Jesus Christ is Lord
Dsus D
Lord and King


Chorus:
G Cmaj7
All glory to Your Name
Am7 D C/G G
All honor to Your majesty
D/E Em Asus A
Forever Forever
G/D C Dsus D
All praise to You alone


Verse 2:
Every eye will see
And every heart will know
The beauty of the Lord
And all the earth


Other:
D/C C G/B D/C C G/B Bb F/A Dsus D


Ending:
G/B C D
All praise to You alone

©2003 Hillsong Publishing (Admin. in U.S. & Canada by Integrity's Hosanna! Music)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
CCLI song #4257796

NIE class outing

 

Picture of some the gals from my English SK class!

 

The group of NIE trainees who went down Sentosa 20th Nov 2006! Exams over! 

Measured against a yardstick

I think we all suffer sometimes a bit of the being "judgmental sickness".
I have a lot of expectations on my family members, my sistas, my close friends and sometimes, when they say or do something that's out of my familar "yardstick of tolerance" for them, I get hurt and upset.

I get frustrated when my mum expects a lot out of me especially now I am hardly at home, sometimes she just demands that I spend more time with her which I could already hardly draw out time to sleep. I have tried to make it home at least two nights a week for meals just to spend time with her and I have to admit, its really tiring...sometimes just don't know how to please her. That already is measuring my mum against some standard that I have, place her on the hot seat, argue that she's not caring enough for me...

My "judgmental sickness" shows up again among my close frens, when every word they say are weighed on my personal scale. Recently some events, over things some close fren had said to me in the face got me so upset and heartache that I begin to wonder, Have I been measuring my friends with the same yardsitck too? How do I measure the expectations on myself then? Am I too relaxed with myself and strict with others?

After service today, our group went out to watch "Casino Royale" and sat down at a Kopi Tiam for drinks...the group whose majority was made up of guys went one round of talking about the kinda gals that they cannot stand, cos we were on the posting of my blog on guys...

I fit into all their descriptions of girls that they cannot stand! wahahahahaa...

Loud.

Chor2 Lor4

Squeaky.

Not wen1 rou2.

Just to name a few la...the most they say, the more I sink into my chair... Not to say that I am wanting to be in their good books la, but I really feel that I am being too judgmental on others, how I view others is not the same that I view myself... double standards la...I can be so harsh on the people I love and those who love me but NOT on myself. Everything I do seems to cover up neatly.

Lord, I pray for You to help me see people through the eyes of Love that You hold. Help me to exercise my grace on others and to put my loved ones and friends through Your yardstick and not mine alone. Help me not be so judgmental and cynical and so harsh with the people around me. Guard my tongue, my speech, my actions that the people around me would not be hurt or disappointed. Help me to love, love with the same love cos You first loved us.Unmask and unscale my eyes from my coloured and narrow vision and replace them with a new perspective that You want me to see.
I pray for Your forgiveness to me when I judge and hurt people. I pray for Your Holy Spirit to guide and lead me. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

Absolute Zero

This must be one of the low points in my life.

In the past two months since Oct-Nov, I don't know how many times I have shed tears over people, over school, over situation.

Do they care that you shed tears for them? Only God is the Comforter really.

Heartache.

Pain.

Dizziness.

MISUNDERSTOOD!

Mostly heartache - cos the pain is so great that you can't treat it physically - only by prayer. Prayer for God to heal and to soothe...

God help me!

GOT Challenge?

Sigh...finally I am in a mood to blog this down...got this challenge sometime back din have time to write it down...read Tricia's and IZ's blogs about guys and girls...GOt a challenge from IZ about what about guys that make me mad...okay I am so going to get rap from the guys reading this blog also...but only my personal comments la...hope you all dun mind...

What are the few things about guys that makes me mad / cannot stand??

Okay...before I say anything...I am not perfect also, I am loud, terribly loud, chor lor, not exactly a girl, more a guy-girl kinda person, I have my bad points too...my dad la, brought me up to be tough like a guy :P So there are also people and events in my life that shaped me to who I am today..I have ideals also...ideals of what a guy should be like...so here's really what makes me tick:-

Brace yourself.

I cannot stand it when guys:-

1) Are TOTALLY UNgentlemanly

I mean, these are the folks who fight with ladies literally up the buses, MRT, lifts. They do NOT give way even though you may be lugging an instrument, carrying a kid, lotsa books or groceries, I have seen it myself, This guy on the MRT saw this poor pregnant lady walk in and immediately "fall asleep" AWWW come on!

Do you really need to be first up the bus or MRT? How heavy is the lift door or door that you can't hold it for us when you go out? sigh...No la, I am not asking you to help me carry things when you see me lugging many stuff, but i feel that its really basic courtesy to help us get that door? aiyoh....

Oh yeah, another trend... you want us to follow you when you lead the way, please walk slower. No, i do not wear high heels, we do walk slower so if you really need to be in the lead, please walk slower, how can we know where are we headed if you guys are leading 30 yards away? Not everyone has a longer perspective like me being quite tall...

Singapore guys...must work harder, I share from a personal experience, there was this "ang moh" one fine day I was taking a cab to church, he was in the cab paying for the fare before I got on. He got outta the cab, smiled a big smile at me, "Good morning!", opened the cab door for me to get on and closed the door for me!

That's Gentleman-liness 101 for you! Look,I don't even know him!
I rem that particular service I kept smiling thru and thru...:) lil' acts of kindness la...

2) Are totally indecisive

This point I echo Tricia's comments. Please do make decisions on your own also. Some ladies in general already cannot be the decision maker around, so I believe that's what God has called man to do, to lead the woman! OK, if you want us to give opinion or suggestions to what to wear, or what to eat for example or what hair colour to put on, we would give you our two cents worth. Please don't get mad or irritated when we choose something that is totally off what you think and that you may have already decided upon in the first place? Then again, you already went one big round to justify what you have already decided in the first place, then sorry ah may I ask, why still ask us? Sigh...

3) Have little habits that stick to them , even in public

OK, everyone has habits, this i agree, I was a cleanliness freak until God changed me! wahhaah...I have seen guys, picking their noses, digging their ears and yes, scratch.....that was the ultimate! I was an Usher in Hope for a good 4 years plus before moving on to the music ministry. Those early days I really struggle shaking hands with so many ppl at one go! You have clammy hands, wet hands, sticky hands, you name it yupps I have shaken them all!
Like I said, everyone can have these habits,me included, please restrict the display of these habits to the washroom? Thanks...and oh yeah, wash up after you are done...:)

4) Have an ego so big that it hurts people

Face it. Guys do have an ego. Not all guys are exertive and being too ego-istic. But they do have it. Sometimes in an argument, when things do not turn out your way, not by our doing of course or when it turns out that you are in the wrong, please do not argue that you are right or there's a better way to do it, or we should have gone around and do it your way. Most of the time, we do not want to win that argument, we just want to hear you say "Sorry, I have raised my voice..." or simply just "Sorry". Many times, we are more hurt by the guy trying to exert their rights over the matter that we could keep silent over it.

Does it hurt so much to really apologise? We get more mad in the process when that happens when a guy insists of getting his point across...most of the time for me la, I would just turn away and switch off.

5) Another aspect of the guy's ego is the inexplicable nature of wanting to impress.

Aiyee..I get my hair stand when I see one like that. I dunno, call me weird but I not impressed by how well you can speak that language, or your business accolates, the list of achievements you have, how well you dress, the who's who that you know...just to name a few..

What I really do appreciate in a guy is his quiet spirit,humility, the depths and maturity of his mind over matter. His talents could be seen screaming from his very being - yet, he does nothing to accentuate it. Believe me, there are guys like that. THAT is impressive. Am still bowled over by them when I see them around...heee heee...

6) Think they are every girl's dream guy / resident hunk

Still on ego.

I can't help but keep smiling at this next comment, but there are guys who think that they are every gal's dream or resident hunk and they believe it. They go around chatting up with girls, turn on the "impress mode" and gets really hyped up with getting their attention. I do admit that some of them are really good looking but sad to say...it does't work for me.

I always tell my group's guys, its not the looks or how big your muscles is. What girls look out for is the sincerity and pureness of the heart. You don't have to look like Takeshi Kaneshiro (Jin Chen Wu) or Brad Pitt to get the girl's heart. God will make you shine in front of THE ONE...:P

7) Are very impatient

I am someone who can be quite slow in articulating myself especially when I make decisions,other times I can be quite a fast-talker. I talk a lot of incoherent things. I take time to decide and take time to walk from Place A to B.

Let's take shopping for example.We ladies like to shop around for a particular good, comfy pair of shoes before we buy them. We compare prices, we listen to comments, we would want to try out different varieties of shoes...that's an example of how we make decisions, using a graphic representation la.

Be patient okay? Good things come to those who wait...

I think I shall stop here for today otherwise I would not hear the end of this. I have to add that NOT all ladies are what I have described above. We are all very different.

Now these are what make me tick! Right back at ya, IZ! :P

It's over...

Thanks those for coming down , Zhu zhu and Law, CC, GR and the rest, Pam for praying...:)

Love you guys!

A humanitarian approach towards Euthanasia?

It was actually a very fun-filled and joyous day with much laughter and salt water after our unit event at Sentosa Palawan Beach.

I got home only to hear from my dad that my uncle is terminally ill with lymphatic cancer and he is given only a few days to live...The depth of the severity of his condition only then sank in. I was afraid. This is like close to immediate family already and my parents especially my dad was really affected and sad. I was at a loss...another wave of hard testing again, I called my UL GR for help. My uncle could only speak Cantonese and Hainanese, me my broken Canto cannot even buy me a bowl of noodles let alone share Christ..sigh... GR was very kind to offer to go down with me to pray for him, but after much deliberation from my mum and struggling the whole night without much sleep...I think it was best that I went alone...

On the way to service, I had prayed,"God how? My uncle is not saved! My Cantonese how? God...help!" I prayed for my uncle's salvation and for God to speak to me how I should go to pray for my uncle or not, despite knowing i would definitely get the brunt of all the persecution and condemnation if I go and pray boldly for him. God gave me this verse:

"Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him everything we ask, because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him."

~ 1 John 3:21-22

I knew it was God's confirmation for me to go ahead and pray in courage and boldness.
I went there, I was surrounded by relatives, there was not a quiet moment, I kept praying in my heart. Then suddenly, I was alone with my uncle and another cousin, I know that I have only moments to act...

I laid my hands on his hand, "Gu Jeong, (Uncle) wo hai Da bao...(I'm Dabao, my baby moniker)" I prayed in my heart for God to speak to him in his head, let him hear God's voice, cos what I witnessed was so heart wrenching...tubes all stuck to him, life support system...the signboard which read "NOTHING by Mouth" loomed over his head, I nearly cried. His head was turning left and right, eyes tightly shut, mouth open gasping for air, hands struggling to take off the tubes...Sometimes, when you see your loved ones, fighting to live on struggling with so much pain, I began to think that euthanasia is really humanitarian after all, all the rounds of chemo and treatment only caused more and more pain on my uncle. I prayed also for God take away his pain...

I prayed. I prayed silently for God to help him respond to me if my uncle could hear His voice and respond to me so that I could share more for his salvation. There...it happened...for that moment 10 seconds, my uncle opened his eyes turned his head and looked at me, with tears in his eyes, he turned to where I was standing....just as I finished praying...that 10 secs...I knew God was speaking to him..to me it was really a moment with him and God....i was shocked and stunned....then he went off again...i lost him in his semi-comatose state...

It was only 10 seconds, but to me it was a great leap of my faith level and the trust to just take God at His word and follow.. I was amazed at what God can do...
I hope that I would have a chance to see my uncle again and ask God for His grace to help me pray for his salvation...I have only that much time...

Pray with me please...

Take it to the Cross of Jesus

Met up with a long lost friend today, AS. It was a really good time of catching up and sharing. Remember those days early this year when I was still working in Shenton Way , we used to have lunch together every other day. This time round I saw her, my heart melted...she lost so much weight that at least to me her face seemed to sink in! Remnants of a really pretty face still remain..but what I saw was a face washed with tears, hurts, stress and hardship from the past 6 months since I last saw her.

Was pretty worried when she din contact me after I sms-ed her a birthday greeting. After we were seated comfortably did all the pouring come out. She was really broken and hurt inside. It's been years of accumulated hatred, hurt and unforgiveness that formed her from what she is today - a hardened heart.

She tried to put up a brave front still smiled and joked a lot in front of me, but the crunch time came when I asked her about her work...there torrents ran down her cheeks... AS could not take the pressure from work and hurts from her family that her sharing kept going back to the unfair treatment that she felt, the hurts that her family caused that she had began to question herself deeply, "Why am I working so hard for?" Stress and dejection really broke her when she realised that all in all she was really empty inside despite being in a high paying job and in high profile in the corporate world.

I assured her that she's really established as a career woman. "Rachel, you do not see what goes on inside, all the hurt and pain..." AS went on and on, so many times she cried over past hurts that her family has caused her, so many times she cried over the job that's wearing her down...

"AS, in our down times, do not let the devil have a foothold!" I keep praying for this friend, this deep cut inside that causing so much pain, the incident that fateful night one year ago at home that caused her to move out of her home, I pray that the Lord will hear her cry and heal her of her hurts. Questions came up on whether I hated my parents, which i told her in the past yes, I did, parents like humans are fallible, they did many unfair things and also hurt me, which I told CC the other day, the unspoken anguish that sometimes as firstborn that you have to carry... but its the forgiveness that brought me freedom, me finally putting down all the scores against my parents that once brought pain into joy... learnt a most wonderful quote today from Dr Lewis Smedes, in "Forgive and Forget"

"Revenge never evens the score, for alienated people never keep score of wrongs by the same mathematics. Forgiveness is the ONLY way to stop the cycle of unfair pain turning in your memory."

It's this same forgiveness that we must first have to see that we do will somehow fail another person, in whatever we do or in our speech, we need to acknowledge the fact that no matter how hard it seems to not to keep score, not to hold on to the right that you must be upset, or that the right to feel wronged.Freedom comes when we call onto the Lord!

My dear AS, you ARE in my prayers...

FINISHED 12 ASSIGNMENTS!

Yes, dear ladies and gentlemen, I have FINISHED my share of assignments for this semester. The moment when I slapped my IT Assignment CD on the table to my tutor during the timeslot today, I was ECSTATIC! No words can describe the feeling of huge relief that I felt.

All the Madness, late nights, all the discussions and word processing...wah...I have become an "assignment generator"!!

BUT WAIT....WAIT...assignments over...BUT my first English Paper is tomorrow! 2nd Nov...oppps!

*gasp* :P