30th June - Had a bad day

Yes, its not just the Monday blues...but its a bad day...the Lord has seen me through it and brought me in His arms. I thank God again for all the angels in my life.

I need help, I need sleep, I need prayers.

It's been one week...it hurts...

Is it right?

Is It Right?
============
Cowardice asks the question, ‘Is it safe?’
Expediency asks the question, ‘Is it politic?’
And Vanity comes along and asks the question, ‘Is it popular?’
But Conscience asks the question ‘Is it right?’
And there comes a time when one must take a position thatis neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must doit because Conscience tells him it is right.

~Martin Luther King~

Church Camp 2008 - Happenings 5th-8th June

The girls are the upon reaching Shah Alam Concorde Hotel Our CG flag in Chinese! Joe and Shi Ming mascots for NG6B2 and B3! CG ala Bruce Lee style Ending camp shot.

I would say this Church camp is really life transforming and amazing. I came to the camp full of expectations and yearning to hear from the Lord over some things. The first night was exhilirating! I was so overwhelmed by the presence of the Lord that I knelt down again in prayer, really frustrated and lost over what to do in my personal life and work. I struggled so much to love, its was an eventful first night where I had to pray very hard for God to give me the grace to love. One thing happened after another and I found myself unable to rest well and spend some solitude with God in prayer. I was running around, talking to people and not realising my own limits and boundaries had tried to carry many burdens upon myself.

The second day, I fell sick after the morning worship and prayer as a result of unable to rest and sleep well. Rested in the hotel room. Went through KL ACTSperience, a whacky and zany afternoon where we shopped, cleared obstacles and checkpoints in ala Amazing race style. That morning had received an sms from Bernard stating that there were riots in KL city centre due to the fuel prices hike. The Lord was really with us that day. The streets were quiet, the malls were relatively empty and wow...I had a smooth time shopping :)

Really struggled to love and accept differences in the people around me, although I myself have to admit that I am no angel myself. When the time for the CG to say the CG Covenant together, I realise that to love and to forgive comes with a decision to want to do so. It is a choice and there are many times when circumstances do not call for it to happen, that's when the verse from 1 Corinthians 13 come to mind, "Love is patient and keeps no records of wrongs". I really do not want to be a hypocrite and prayed with all my heart that what I shared and said is really me being authentic and real. To love is a choice and it has to be constantly practised and renewed in the mind. To promise to love someone is a promise to easily broken as words are cheap and the distance from the heart to the mouth is the greatest, meaning there is a huge divide from the statement being said from the mouth and the actual heart conviction of the statement, ie the real decision to want to do something about it.

Was actually playing for the Extended Praise and Worship that last night in Church Camp. Was also praying to the Lord that someone would venture up to the Worship Band members and offer prayers, at least, I told God I wanted someone badly to pray for me. I thank God again for the amazing worship atmosphere that was there that night and I finally went to Fen to ask her to pray for me. She had prophesised over me that God really loves me and I had to let my life be led by the Holy Spirit and submit myself to Him fully. When QF shared to me the same thing that night in the hotel room, my tears just rolled down. She really struck a chord in my heart that God loves me and all the fears that I am facing and unable to face, the fear of rejection, the fear of loneliness, the fear of losing the things and people that I really love. I really cried. How God really really loves me to confirm with me the same thing twice in a night!

Thank God for QF that after so long, and many prayers about her, they were all answered. You are wonderful, amazing Lord. This camp has its impact on me, I can only hope, trust and carry on waiting upon the Lord despite all the uncertainties that I face and release my burdens upon Him. Need to constantly too, remind myself of His love for me...

Another Healing testimony!

Dear all,

Today's posting is to give praise and honour to the Lord God Almighty.
I went for my routine checkup at Tan Tock Seng Hospital for my thyriod scan analysis.

For those who are not familiar with thyriod condition it is when your thyriod glands expand bigger than usual. You may have growths in that gland and you would experience extreme weight loss or gain depending on your condition whether it is Hypo (slow down of hormones) or Hyperthryriod (increase in hormonal activity).

Today, I am proud to say that and give thanks to the Lord, that I am healed after 4 long years of appointment, scans done, blood tests. The doctor discharged me because even though my thyriod gland is larger than the usual of 3cm, mine measuring 6.1cm, I could be discharged because the doctor did not detect any abnormality in the growth.

I would say that these 4 years is not easy, filled with much tears and prayers, but I am glad that the Lord has seen me through again and I am once again an instrument of healing. May this really bless all your hearts to trust and wait upon the Lord! :)

His Love is amazing! :)

3 more days to Church Camp 2008

1 Corinthians 2:5"...so that your faith might not rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power."

It is a short and simple part of a verse but it impacts me a lot. Being thinking through a lot of things, the insecurities, emotions, uncertainty, mounting up...Do we really want to follow what the world wants us to do or do we want God's Power? I think the answer is pretty obvious.

Can't even be still to enjoy the service yesterday and was wondering what had happened. Then I know it...the dependency has to be on God.

Slowly all these fears melted away when I chatted with KD. I think God put us 3 in the same situation together to mutually encourage, to prove that once again God's grace is sufficient for all in similar situations. We three are put the same amount of testing and the things we go through are seemingly in the same phase. Yes, KD, we are in this together :) Many times, we want to give up, we don't have to put up with this heartache and misery.

Why are we holding on? Because of the little things that GOD had spoken, the little confirmation that He has given through His verses, through signs, through situations that had happened that were unexpected. We could easily turn away but we did not why? We could have turned to others or simply the easy way out. I know and I know that the moment I do that, I would NEVER stand anywhere. God puts me to test for a reason cos He knows that I would escape, I would choose the easy way out...is to simply run away...How am I supposed to get the fruit of the harvest that God has in store for me the moment, I choose to give up when the going really seems tough?

The tears, the sweat, the heartache...I keep asking myself and God, is it really worth it O Lord? God is growing me, testing in my patience, cos He knows that me, the impatient and 'frust frust' Rac, high-strung and negative Rac who gets heated and stressed up easily. All these emotions melted away, after yesterday's extended prayer. I really prayed for peace, God's wisdom, not my wisdom, Holy Spirit's guidance and peace, not coming from my own...

You know what? I suddenly got the courage, I got the peace and called...had a really good chat...I could not stop smiling after that...it will come to an end soon...Let's hang on together KD! :)

luv lots...