Love-the driving force behind this run???

I underestimated the driving force of Love to me when I found myself,

Pushing the limits to run past my own stamina to hit the ends of East Coast Park yesterday to chase after a particular sickly sister, who ran alone, hitting way past 10km and having bad muscle aches now

I underestimated what Love can do to me, when I found myself,

Doing things that I would never imagine myself doing, like running like the wind in my flip flops (Sky Train not working la!:S) from Changi Terminal 2 to Terminal 1 after fetching a bro to send another bro off to his trip, to catch him before he leaves...

I underestimated the magnitude of Love that my parents had for me when

I saw that they always kept food for me even when I reach home late at night, and my dad will ALWAYS wait up for me, it really gives a warm fuzzy feeling all at once...

I underestimate the power of Love that can do to my soul when,

It propels me to pray, to worry, to shed tears, to simply think about the people I care for, to go to that person in need even when I am dead tired...

I underestimate what motivating force that Love has on me, when

I picked up playing the violin again after a span of 12 years at age 24, I made myself learn the guitar at age 23 all in a bid to learn to worship God better, to learn to adore God better,to learn to love God better...

I underestimate the sweetness of God's Love when,

In more ways than one, He has watched over me in my down times, He has blessed me with small rewards to let me know that He is still there, He healed me of my hurts and pain, He healed me of my sickness, He speaks to me and is the one I hold on to!

I underestimated the ultimate source of Love when,

I finally realised how much Christ loves us and died for our sins, the ugliness of my sins, my petty "crimes" that I have committed, the foul words that I have spoken, the evil thoughts that I have kept in my mind..WOW blows my mind everytime...I could only ask for His continuous Grace on me...

What has Love propelled you to do today? :)

NOSTALGIA TIME! 5 years mark in HOPE!

Five Years have past...I have rededicated my life to join a church, after having been a runaway sheep for years... It's been FIVE years with HOPE! *drum roll*

Been through 5 years of ministry in Hope, many laughter and of course tears...At the end of it all, you really appreciate those who have seen through with you all these years...Unearthed some really old pics of my fellow brothers and sisters (again!)...had a good laugh at some of them! So be nice to me or they would be slowly released to the world! (*evil laughter)...nah, I love God and His people too!

Do reminisce with me for those who have walked with me ...*pat on the back*!
Let's look forward to many more years to come eh?


Love you all!

The Year of testing

Ever been through a year or so, months on end that you feel that you are being tested through and through? Everytime I was weighed down by the events that were happening to me, the gruelling of running the Christian race is never easy, I really want to cry. I want to cry real bad.

Poy mentioned that CG night, "Wah, being a Christian is not easy ah!" I told Jeannie also, "When heavy people fall, the impact on the fall on them is very big."
I meant literally of course, but when I thought back of the statements made..WOW something struck.
It's like months on end I seem to be going through things, struggling in between jobs, finances stretched, emotions tested through and through and stress from work and studies. Getting a bit inward looking I know, but all these are like burdens that weighed on your back, the wounds which cut your skin left scars and scratches. You still have remnants of it on your body after each saga.

I am getting "heavier" by all these, and I don't wanna fall. Really, its scary just to even think about it. The impact on yourself would be too great. Really need to daily release all these burdens to God! Of course there are tons of people worse off than me...but this is not a pity party....I ask myself,"How do I last the race?" Throwing in the towel is easy but its like being an escapist. A recent spate of events that happened to me can really make my hair turn grey. I was caught off guard, I wasn't prepared for this, Lord how do handle this? Stress levels hit an all time high, I was talking gibberish, my hands are shaking, I could not really think straight. What I thought I had overcome again, resurfaced in a totally new incident, GOd spoke to me, THAT is my stronghold.

Been reading Acts 24-26 about Paul being brought to trial before Felix, Fetus and the Caesar. He was tested, gruelling interrogations, at one point he could have got off the whole thing with a bribe but he chose to hang on. Two years plus of imprisonment and trial after trial...got me thinking, Will I succumb when tempted or deprived of something which is my stronghold? (hahah think I can hear a certain policeman's voice,"YOU MUST WEEN OFF COFFEE!")

Really tired, even as I write this, tears are welling in my eyes...Read this passage today and am greatly encouraged, made me wanna do something about the condition of my heart,

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perished even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Though you have not seen Him, you love Him and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls"

1 Peter 1:6-9

I am hanging on to the hope cos Jesus say so, I need to rejoice in what I am going through cos I know that at the end of it, I will receive the GOAL, God's divine and wonderful GOAL for me in my life. I am praying for myself to be rejoicing to be tested in this manner, cos these are the times that my faith is stretched even more, its like you step into something you are absolutely afraid of but you need to go through it with faith. Sometimes, you need to do it, not just for yourself, but for the people around you, for the people that really matters to you, for GOD!

Hang on Rac!

What I wanted to be when I grow up...

When I was growing up I had many dreams and aspirations.
Come to think of it, some of them are so farnie!!

I can remember during my Primary 1 or 2 days when the teacher would tell us to draw something that we wanted to be when we grow up..it was like the most asked question that my parents would coax me into answering day in and day out...

I remember the first time I drew a pic of my dream career, can you believe it I wanted to be a - POLICEMAN! I remember vividly striding into the Police Post one fine day with my Papa cos he wanted to report a minor accident with his car, think I was 6 or 7, I boldly told the PC in charge that, "Uncle, I want to be a POLICEMAN!" (I spot super short hair and my dad dressed me up like a boy) He bent down and talked to me like a adult to a child would and went,"You sure you want to be a Policeman? You dare to touch DEAD BODY?" not knowing what I was in for, I answered, "YES!"

Years later, i knew I would stray for this childhood ambition, after watching too much Crime Watch and saw all the horrible murders, and yes..seeing for myself TWO DBs! Blood splattered at the void deck from my block when some distressed ppl chose to commit suicide there..

Okay too much info, my next farnie ambition was to be a SIA girl! Always tell myself that I am tall enough and I shall apply to be a "Singapore girl" hee hee...cannot lor, me too "chor lor"...But was thinking, how nice it would be to fly all over the world and see places!

Then, I wanted to be an engineer, I struggled in my studies thru my engineer course, it was only until the final year did I finally found what I like about my studies, the Environmental Engineering part...:) Water treatment, Wastewater research, remembering the lab days when I ran samples after samples of "sh*t water". There was this prof in uni who inspired me a lot into this field, his name is Prof Appan. He made me so passionate about my research that I wanted to get a job into it after I grad, but sad to say, think the path that God has chosen for me was to be so different...

Remember a particular beer advertisement sometime back I think the guy in it goes,"My father was an engineer, and so was my father's father, But I am someone different..."

I can quote, "My father is an teacher and so is my mother, I am going to be one and so is my youngest sister!" Self fulfilling prophecy...:P These days, I am glad that the Lord has led me to where I am...:)

But there's this one HUGE dream since sec days till my early uni days on what I really wanted to be...I wanted to be a singer!! I love singing and love to add my own versions to any songs that I came across in the past. I would sing in the shower, I would sing on the way home, I would make up a song with any word that my friend's conversations end with, sometimes i write my own songs..I joined singing competitions in school, Hall Sing and strum group, Choir and really love KTV!!

Unearthed this next video of me and my sis Kerri when I was searching for a lost CD.. FIVE YEARS ago in Sep 2001 where she came to my hall to sing with me...I was not really part of HOPE yet, being a fringe member...wahaha...check out the geeky hairstyle and my shot at "stardom"!! Enjoy!

Weird dreams...waking up to reality

Been encountering weird dreams earlier this week, distinctly heard a voice speaking into the picture and have seen clearly the face of a certain leader in the church...

Why this dream God? Has it manifested itself from what I have been constantly pondering in my mind to become in my dreams? Chinese say, "Ye4 chang2 mong4 duo1"
Woke up with a smile actually but at the same time feeling weird all over...

It's a very surreal feeling when sometimes what you dream come to pass and you have that "deja vu" feeling and you pray that its something that God wants to speak to you about. But that series of dreams...too abstract..something I dun quite understand... but I do know that the Lord is in charge of the situation. Somehow deep in my heart I hope and pray for that to happen...:P

The reality is not so easy, hardly so sweet as the dream but we have the LORD! :D

NIE is really tough, I witnessed colleagues breaking down under the stress, going "gila" in lectures, and simply talking gibberish when they try to talk to you. Some are mothers, others are fathers, breadwinners of the family, worrying over their child's PSLE and if someone has fallen sick of the family, anxiety and stress started to plaster all over the person's face. Recent spate of "throwing the letter of resignation" has occurred in the heat of assignments.

I wonder, studying in a high-strung environment, a distinctive college they call it, only to come out into another stress oven in the school environment. I question myself more and more, God to convict me, God to see me through this stress, Lord Jesus to help me bask in His love and glory to see me through. Hard questions everyday, do I really want to go through all these?

Then, I remembered my kids, my dear boys from that white-washed school in Bartley Rd, i remember every single face, every single friend that touched my heart in that school. Every prayer and every situation that I walked with the Lord in that little school. I was encouraged. I want to go back there. I miss them...

Dedicated to my little "dears"...

I'd know I'll Always ... by Rachel Tham

I'd know I'll always walk with a little skip in my gait

When I remember your smile upon me at the gate

I'd know I'll always dream of going back to the same place,

When I seem to retrace every incident back to where it began.

I'd know I'll always melt in my heart,

When I remember your voice, your face, your sweet sweet spirit,

I'd know I'll always ring in my ears,

With the sounds of your singing and jokes,

I'd know I'll always imagine being with you,

When I always look beside me to remember the times you walk with me,

I'd know I'll always pray for you,

Pray that each day with the Lord would be full of joy!

I'd know I'll always miss you, think of you, love you ALL.....

When my lips curl up when I talk about you,

I'd know I'll always cherish and wish you all the best

In all that you are ever going to do...

I'd know I'll always.....like you!

Let pictures do the talking....what happ in the past 2 weeks..

Create Your Own!

Woke up from a deep deep sleep...

Ever experienced this before, yourself working on an assignment or project continuously for a few days, not eating much or sleeping only at most 3 hours a day?
Then when you are finally done, you presented your stuff and you are like so so drained?

This is what just happened to me...I think the total number of hours I clocked this week on sleep is really less than 48 hours. So drained...I had my English presentation today, its one where each pair of teacher trainees will take over the tutor's role and give basically a lesson. We are to teach the class a particular topic. All research work and materials we are to collate ourselves and it takes up 20% of our curriculum

Me and my partner talked for a cool 2 hours, showing videos and giving our presentation. This is really not easy.. can imagine now how the Pastors talked on stage for so long... on one hand you have to engage your audience, another hand you have to explain and present your point across in a logical manner.

The moment my presentation ended at 230pm today...I don't know what happened after that.
I must have been living in a state of semi-conscious mind, i staggered to my last tutorial class of the day, slept through a good part of it, I remembered the previous day I had gone without food since morning working on the assignment..
I slept in my car pool.. and when i reached home I told my Auntie not to wake me up for dinner and fell into a deep deep sleep only to wake up at 12am to realise that the world has spun 5 and half hours. Not exactly feeling the sense of loss cos got more things coming up.

I had presented on teaching a particular text genre on expositions to children and on expanding the children's imagination by teaching them to write argumentative essays. Have attached the following video:

Some background, The teacher had told the kids to draw whatever comes to their mind. And this kid just kept on colouring everything black.A frightening scene for her.. Appalled the teacher sought the parent's help, psychiatrists' help...
The poor kid went into an asylum until the teacher discovered a trait of the kid...

Watch to the end...blew my mind on this one...in Japanese

Something that I just learnt and re-learnt

2 Corinthians 5:20

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."

Just read a short but powerful and inspiring blog entry by Zhu Zhu and reaffirmed the perspective of God once again in my life.

What does it mean to be an ambassador for Christ? Means our lives, wholly representing Him and live out in His will through His grace and guidance.
How many times have God spoken to me and I have not taken Him at His Word? Saying, "Yes, Lord! Here I am, send me!" to simply to trust, to carry out and to just obey...

I let it slip too many times, Be reconciled to God, bridging this gap, drawing Him closer once again...

Taking a break from Mad Rush of 12 assignments...

Yesh, this is crazy, i am sleep deprived, i have bad skin and yesh i look bad...

Study is tough and I am hanging on to God for dear life..

Today we had an rather interesting English class on rewriting sentences using better discriptive language. I am sure you all have seen it in the pri school English papers on joining two sentences together....

Well, some of the guys in the class managed to churn out really beautiful sentences, sure bet that they write really romantic love letter to their wives...:P

Okay, here are some sentences :

Question 1: The wind blew. John got cold.
Example: The icy wind blew strongly, making John feel like he was in a freezer.

Question 2: Carrie stood at the bus-stop. She was upset.

Rewriting 1: Carrie waited nervously at the bus-stop, sobbing quietly to herself.

Rachel's version: As she stood all alone at the bus-stop, the loneliness in Carrie's heart was not doing anything to stop tears from falling down her cheeks.

Question 3: The athlete ran. He won the race.
Rewriting 1: (This one takes the cake, by my classmate)The super-human athlete raced like lightning across the finishing line, breaking the ribbon in a flourish.

Question 4: She drank her coffee. She was thinking.

Rachel's version: Sipping her morning cuppa, she contemplated the day's events.

Question 5: Peter looked at the bully. He did not like him.
Rewriting 1: (another winner from the same guy) Peter stared swords and daggers at the very personification of evil at the corner, wishing the building will fall and crush him.

Rachel's version: Peter growled at the boy at the corner, the very presence of him made his hair stand on end.

Question 6: Wendy walked into the room. It was hot.

Rachel's version: Wendy walked into what seemed like a furnace of a room, with beads of perspiration plastered to the shirt on her back.

Now you try!

Question 7: Bruno was a dog. He barked at strangers.

Question 8: It rained all day. I thought it wouldn't stop.