Find this rather amusing..I am in the midst of "collecting" all my kid's and detractor's things over this past two months in Maris Stella Pri School..I am personally amazed at how God showed me the way the boys react to things would actually be a life lesson to me.
It just occured to me after talking to God about it. I would have to clear out my drawers soon and be shifting my workstation and to my stock taking account, to date, I have collected, satay sticks, erasers, lotsa pens, Pokemon cards, bookmarks, torchlight, my prized soccer ball and not to mention a green wriggly little fellow..which I hope is worming around safely in the school garden...and now the latest craze in the classroom scene ladies and gentlemen is the RUBBER BANDS. Flashes of red and yellow will spring across the room when you are talking in class...took a bag of them today...:)
The boys actually place great value in these little things. I would be amazed at how they would brawl and cry when their things are removed from them, how they would want to hold on to them so tightly that they hope that the teacher would be lenient and be nice to them. One boy cried running after me after class for me to return his precious notebook in which he wrote, about the "special" powers that he and his friends has accumulated over the months of "training". Today I did something drastic..threw a boy's shoe outta the door!I am amazed at the stories that I heard about the boys doing business selling all the thigns that they had collected to earn profit...
The things we hold on to so tightly...One by one as I had collected the things from the boys, I had harboured this hope that they would listen and do well in their work. Pretty like what God wants me to do in many of things that my little possessions...how i still like a little child sometimes..holding on to my pride, my prized little erasers and satay sticks of requests from God. God would want to bless us with many gifts ...but in the process...there must be a spiritual "pruning" "He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be more fruitful."John 15:2
Many times i come begging at God's feet...do You have to take that away from me? Do you have to really give it to You God? Do I have to surrender that little thought that i hold on to ? All this reasoning just because we want something from God and when He demands that we give it all to Him...it becomes really tough...I wrestle with God, each struggle i realised that the tear in my heart or soul becomes much deeper and hurt more...it was so much easier to simply let go to God..The kids who struggle with me did not just get hurt emotionally themselves, i realise that I do get hurt its really a tight feeling when the kid makes you angry at times, then it dawned upon me God is hurt too when i struggle with such animosity over my rights He wants to give the best..today another deeper understanding of His love for me...
Remembering also the song that we had sang at CG,
Give them all, Give them all , Give them all to Jesus,
Shattered dreams and wounded hearts and broken toys,
Give them all, Give them all, Give them all to Jesus,
He'd turn your sorrow into JOY!!
The fishing line would have to be released further in order to "get bigger fish" as what the Chinese always say..but GOD asks for complete surrender, replete at His feet...How much faith do I hold right now to let go, really let go of that fishing line,that eraser of value, that "Pokemon Card" of my heart?
Lord, I pray, burn it deep and take all of me Lord! That last stubborn stronghold of my pride, my emotions, my wants and needs i want to give it to You...help me dear Lord! It's Your Grace, that I am here...Help me not to over ask for more...I want to experience this joy, this freedom that comes from complete surrender at Your feet...The deeper in love, the deeper aspects of my heart, Lord I pray you touch me there too..thank You Lord for all You'd have done.....:)
It's really amazing..how simple everyday things like that should help me see God in the lives of those kids...God takes and He blesses us back so manyfold in return...:)
Tucking away the strands of stray rubber bands in the drawer..:0) Yupps there's always a round 2 in this wrestle tomorrow....
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2 comments:
Gambatte Rachel! Encouraged by your desire and humility to submit to HIM :)
We are all wrestling, but GOD is good and HIS grace is sufficient... Lets all encourage one another :)
Yeah dear,
Been a rough two weeks again..guess i am super wrestling with God all the time...its not easy, but really pray that God will strengthen me to allow me to submit all that I hold on to Him willingly and the grace to see me through, hope He does not have to pry open my fingers for that rubber band tho..:0 heee heee
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