I think we all suffer sometimes a bit of the being "judgmental sickness".
I have a lot of expectations on my family members, my sistas, my close friends and sometimes, when they say or do something that's out of my familar "yardstick of tolerance" for them, I get hurt and upset.
I get frustrated when my mum expects a lot out of me especially now I am hardly at home, sometimes she just demands that I spend more time with her which I could already hardly draw out time to sleep. I have tried to make it home at least two nights a week for meals just to spend time with her and I have to admit, its really tiring...sometimes just don't know how to please her. That already is measuring my mum against some standard that I have, place her on the hot seat, argue that she's not caring enough for me...
My "judgmental sickness" shows up again among my close frens, when every word they say are weighed on my personal scale. Recently some events, over things some close fren had said to me in the face got me so upset and heartache that I begin to wonder, Have I been measuring my friends with the same yardsitck too? How do I measure the expectations on myself then? Am I too relaxed with myself and strict with others?
After service today, our group went out to watch "Casino Royale" and sat down at a Kopi Tiam for drinks...the group whose majority was made up of guys went one round of talking about the kinda gals that they cannot stand, cos we were on the posting of my blog on guys...
I fit into all their descriptions of girls that they cannot stand! wahahahahaa...
Loud.
Chor2 Lor4
Squeaky.
Not wen1 rou2.
Just to name a few la...the most they say, the more I sink into my chair... Not to say that I am wanting to be in their good books la, but I really feel that I am being too judgmental on others, how I view others is not the same that I view myself... double standards la...I can be so harsh on the people I love and those who love me but NOT on myself. Everything I do seems to cover up neatly.
Lord, I pray for You to help me see people through the eyes of Love that You hold. Help me to exercise my grace on others and to put my loved ones and friends through Your yardstick and not mine alone. Help me not be so judgmental and cynical and so harsh with the people around me. Guard my tongue, my speech, my actions that the people around me would not be hurt or disappointed. Help me to love, love with the same love cos You first loved us.Unmask and unscale my eyes from my coloured and narrow vision and replace them with a new perspective that You want me to see.
I pray for Your forgiveness to me when I judge and hurt people. I pray for Your Holy Spirit to guide and lead me. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Almost all parents love their children, other than a few special cases.
But then again, if we say that our parents do not understand us, it's not completely true. Instead, I would say we do not fully comprehend on them. Our Father in heaven created us and knew us wholly. This also goes for our parents who gave birth to us and watched us grow to adulthood.
Yet there's one thing lack in them that we have now. And that is Jesus. We are believers of Christ. Our parents are still pre-believers of Christ. Some of the things we do are diverse from the things they usually do. Thus, they may not really understand because of this.
Spending time with them is a form of love. And this simple love is easily identified and measured by them by the amount of time we are willing to spend with them. Of course, they may not know the reasons why we 'would rather spend time outside.' (if you know what I mean)
We must know there is scarcity of one element in them - the essence of love that is from God. And we know that it comprises of being patient, kind, not being envy, boastful, rude, self-seeking, easily angered. We KNOW but we DON'T do it. What about them who don't know about it?
If possible, maybe you can bring your mum out for dinner. Just both of you. And have a good conversation about how you feel. If containment does work, it's good. But more often than not, repressing your sentiments will not help much in anyway :) Let her know more about what you are doing and why you are doing so. When I 'date' my dad's wife out, we talk more than we do at home, because there's only two of us. Her educational level stopped at primary three. Thus, there are certain things which seem arduous to explicate to her, but I'm glad she sees that I'm committing myself to God.
Being judgmental is human's nature. Who doesn't have that? All of us are still growing and alot more to grow. We just tell ourselves to remain in silence when our tongues are itchy. Start by holding little by little, and gradually more and more. The mind is not rightful when we judge, but it's even worse if we were to reveal our judgment, unless it's for a good purpose.
It's true that close friends hurt us most because of what they say. Then why don't you let them know on how you feel? It may seem blunt, but it all work for a better purpose, also bringing the friendship to a deeper bond. At least this is how I feel personally.
I think the way we view others is conventionally different from the way we view ourselves. There's always a tendency of being self-righteous. We don't have a mirror to reflect on our perceptions. And that's why we need friends. God gives us friends so that they can identify with our weaknesses or even strengths, as we grow in fellowship. Which human beings like to hear words that pierce into their hearts? But those are words that are truly genuine. And the moment we feel less affected and more at ease, this is when we have grown :)
My five-cents worth...
Hi rach.. didn't occur to me that you are judgemental. You will probably be the last person for me to think you are.. haha.. maybe I haven't seen that side of you yet.. hee..
oh dear.. if you are that judgemental, you prob had critised me on my sax playing...playing out all the wrong notes... haha.. just joking..
Anyway, on a serious note, I think a good way to help you not too be too judgemental is to think about Jesus.... How He treating mankind with grace... even when we are so worthless and not deserving of any grace, He died for us... So shouldn't we have that fraction of grace to others...
Post a Comment