On being a better listener

I find myself having a really short attention span and having a very low self esteem.
There are many times over the years that people have commented that why I dun look at them in the eye when I speak to them or my eyes seem to wander off in another direction after a while. You want the truth? I can't concentrate after 10-15 minutes.
It's a REAL STRUGGLE!

I have to resort to mechanical stuff. Such as repetitive patterns and a conscious will power to concentrate. Numbers are good for me too. There are only 10 digits but they are thousands of vocabulary. That's why I can do music. It has patterns and repetitive melodies which I can concentrate. I take quite fast to process what people say to me sometimes, but leaving the conversation behind after a few minutes much to the frustration of people.

I tend to wander off to a new topic suddenly, much to the chagrin of people as they are amazed at how fast I switch topic and can link to such a thing so fast.
I have such low esteem that I could not look at most people in the eye to talk to them also. That, after much prayers and teaching on how rude it is to talk not looking at the person directly, has certainly changed a lot. I trained myself (still trying) to not forcefully advance what opinions I wanna say or tell my friends and people when they tell me something, learn to process more and respond by active listening. I find that I learn more, and I discover more. More people gain trust in me.By active listening, I mean I respond at appropriate times and with comments to build up not to tear down.

It really takes a few hard knocks in my many friendships and relationships with people, when fights and arguments ensued or how distracted I am as a listener. Speaks to me as a Christian too. Do I just wanna blabber to God everyday on requests and forget about listening to what He has to say? His small still voice?
Since then, by the grace of God, I am still praying to be a better listener, to show genuine care and concern for people around me by active listening. To let the Holy Spirit lead me...

I always tell my class, "You talk, I talk, who listens?" haha...

So bear with me if I dun look at you in the eye when I talk to you alright? I am still trying to overcome my self consciousness, or you must be so drop dead gorgeous that I am afraid that I would blush :P