27 Dresses

Recently I heard of this show called "27 Dresses" where this girl is like a wedding coordinator of many different kinds of wedding ceremonies for people that she had bought exactly 27 outfits for each wedding. She was rather skeptical about her own life about herself getting eventually hitched. Until one fine day this guy comes along and starts asking her question about her own life only then did she slow down and review her life. ah ah ah ah...i sense that some of you are going to really log off now cos its a much blogged about topic by me.

I think God has really strengthened me and made me much secure over the tempestuous year 2007.


Taken by a professional at Hazel and Boon Liong's wedding

My very first shepherd Siew Yee and Teck Keong


With the bride at Peiru and Shen Teng's wedding

With Choon Yam and Jeannie at ST and Peiru's wedding

I am very blessed to be always receiving wedding invitations from friends all over but I really have to turn down a few because of work or travel.
Sometimes S.A. Tan does like to pay a visit at my door and have tea with me.
The worst thing is? I allowed him knowing the consequences
The darkest moments of my 2007 I really felt like throwing in the towel and just walk away...not about getting into a relationship mind you, but more of why am I doing this thing all over again for the "nth" year. It's the same sequence, the same people, the same situation and the same ideas...life was a pure stagnant water. I felt myself unworthy of any love and affections and many times felt unappreciated by people. Looking back at those times, my heart was really ugly and my mind - Demented. I started to accuse many things and many people, it was really mild at first until I realise that it was raging within me. I could not walk or talk properly without every few minutes flaring up over the situations that I was facing.

I thought I was in control of my life my emotions, my understanding of people, the strength of my friendships with people...little did I know that they would be so challenged until they hung by a thread and all I ever did in those "dark ages" was to cry and pray "Lord, help me, You rock Lord, save me..." It's just a simple prayer but the effort that comes is not easy. I really had to break down my stubborn pride of being corrected by others, break down my perception to face the reality. Hey, I cannot do all this by myself anymore. I have to learn too to say "No" to situations which I cannot handle or cope..
The Lord is gracious and recently, all the broken pieces of my life has been slowly pieced and glued tight by God's assurance and deep deep love for me. Three words: Prayer really works!

Some figures for you...
In 2007, I have attended 8 weddings, of which 2 of them I was the "Jie Mei" (sisters) group, played violin for 4 weddings, paid out 1000 plus bucks in Ang Pau money, ate at least 3kg of shark fin, wore about the same dress 3 times!! hahah... The degree of struggle I find gets lesser and lesser. With each wedding that went past, God taught me more and more to be secure. With each song I played for the couples on stage, the very tangible presence of God is there. I find it hard to describe the feeling when you really feel God standing beside you and overwhelm you with His love.

The anointing of the music and the playing, I owe it all to the Lord. He just made my fingers play beautifully!

Instead of mourning and groaning over the umpteen weddings I am going(not to mention taking mental notes of all the wedding details :P), I began to rejoice together with the couples. Joy seeps through me when I surrender to God my emotions. Each time getting more convicted of God's protection and love over my life.Each time He multiplied my gifts and talents and blessings poured out when I chose to give. He would never shortchange me! Does that mean that I start to plan for myself now? hehehe...

Let God deal with the man la whoever he is...if what's mine, you think it would be yours meh? hahaha :P

Only started school a few days and I am struggling to keep up with the tremendous workload. I believe strongly that we do a job according to God's will, He will make us the head not the tail. I was given an assistant level advisor, English level rep, and the school's overal Aural and Oral activist. Am pleasantly surprised at how things would turn out this way. Barely 8 months as a full-fledged teacher and I am already heading so many roles. They are not major major roles la but sometimes the pressure do get to me.
What would the people think of me? What would they say? I am so new here, small fry, smaller than a small fry.
Office politics are rampant and its already like walking on eggshells for me here.
Read a devotional lately on Christian following an "open door" policy. When a door of opportunity comes, they assume its God's will to go through it. Then they find themselves going throught many open doors and aspects of our career, life, relationships...only to find that all these draw us so far away from the Lover and Author of our life.

Sometimes, we take all these opportunities for granted, just because the Lord doesn't stop us from something doesn't mean He wants us to continue. We must continue to discern which opportunities to pursue by "approving of things that are excellent" and be "filled with the fruits of righteousness ..to the Glory and praise of God" ~Phil. 1:10-11

So you ask which way should we go, what decision to make? I personally have experienced this and shall testify once again that the Lord is good, let the Holy Spirit be the guide and trust for true discernment.

The best way to know God's will is to say "I will" to God...

Happy New YEAR everyone!

This year is going to be so different...before I start blogging about all the weddings that I had ever attended from Oct 2007-Dec 2007...I wanna say...."SCHOOL HAS FINALLY STARTED!!!" booo hooo...nah...it's going to be exciting as the school has given me a most challenging class with the most challenging grades...walk with me Lord Jesus!
:D

Have a most smashing new year 2008!!

Conclusion to Lijiang...

Flew back Singapore from beautiful Lijiang on the 3rd Dec. ... and from then on its a mad whirl of activities! Shen Teng and Peiru's wedding, Christmas, Hong Kong and Teck Keong and Siew Yee's Wedding...etc..But I dun wanna end off this year without thanking God once again for the marvellous work done during the missions trip.

I think really God changed me a lot during this dream...

Just as I thought...

Just as I thought of having fun and shop all I can in Singapore...

God helped me to see how the little I had could touch so many hearts in Lijiang, China...

Just as I thought of running my own show and wanting everything to be smooth flowing...

God intervened and created a masterpiece - joy in the children's hearts more than I could ever imagine...

Just as I thought I could avoid of God's most marvellous plans for me,

God came in to show me His well-thought out plans for me, lovingly crafted for me.

Just as I thought I could "escape" from what God has called me to do,

Missions bell came a ringing and stirred up my heart to something more for Jesus...

Just as I thought I could hang on stubbornly to my own ideals and thinking,

God thought me surrender and lovingly asked me to release my hands full of my own treasures so that He could fill me with inmeasureably more than I could ever hope or imagine.

I think I would never be the same again... God You have touched me, made me fall all over, deeper in love with You and Your plans for me...

Thank God for a wonderful year 2007! :)

Missions Trip To LiJiang - Part 3

5th and 6th Day - 29th and 30th Nov 2007

The 5th day was really spent just preparing for the party for the orphanage children. Balloons and more balloons were put up...me down with fever again and had to stop to rest...the whole world starts banging onto my head again. Took a few shots of the people...in a total daze...:P Some of the kids were so facinated with Carol's CD and MP3 player that they played and replayed the tracks on the players that they could actually sing and hum to the tunes that we were going to teach!
We order a close to 200 plus cupcakes with candles for the children and they were really enjoying themselves eating the cake. Sad to say for many of the children, they do not even know when their birthdays are. The mass "birthday celebration" really touched our hearts and the kids were once again packed with lots of goodies from ourside, sweet, chocolates and stuff.
There was a prize presentation too where we blessed Hu mama, the teachers and the Principal with all the gifts that we had bought to thank them for the hospitality that they had extended in the school. We also managed to sing 4 chinese and English Praise and worship songs to the kids! A big bold step for God! :P A bit of sadness overwhelmed me today cos I know that the missions trip is coming to an end....but wait...ever seen snow on the mountains? Start drooling at the following pics...am devoting a majority or this posting for the climb up Lijiang's Yu Long Snow Mountain....
IT's FINALLY R AND R DAY!!!

View of the snow mountain from ground level

The girls all ready in their climbing wear at the base station

Cable car starts to travel above the clouds!

Look how far we had to climb! It may seem short to you but we took 4 hours!

Never had so much fun for a mighty long time. Woke up bright and early at 5 plus am where it was so dark and cold to have our breakfast. We set off at 745am to the Snow Mountain. In the end, all Hope people signed up the climb! There was this joke though, the people who were supposed to lead the morning's devotion and praise and worship were all in the team of climbers!! Me and Daniel led the whole van of people into worship and GR and Siew Khim blast Praise and Worship MP3 off their phones. It was fun and rather hilarious. No one's left behind to lead the rest of the mission team!

Arrive at base station where we all armed ourselves with oxygen tanks at 35 yuan each. We were initially reluctant to buy cos we saw all the locals all very garang without the tanks.We had to take a bus up to 3500m halfway up the hill where we had to queue another one plus hour just to take the cable car up the snow mountain.
The scenery was really breathtaking and you really have to be there yourself to experience it.

My nose is definitely not helping in the trip, I was still running a fever mind you. My stubborness at work again and I really struggled and felt very faint throughout the climb. But when I saw the place looking like Hokkaido in some winter wonderland, I was determined not to let anything stop me from the climb. The guys really took good care of me during this trip. Daniel helped me carry my haversack up the mountain, and whenever I stopped to rest, GR would rush to give me the oxygen and made sure that I do not faint. hahahaha...I think I must be turning purple!!!
There were many fun shots taken along the way and really the winds were very strong and cutting on our faces so you see us all attempting to cover our faces up.

The locals were really very garang, some even trudged up easily with the oxygen tanks but you would see us every so often whip out that aerosol can and start breathing from it. Remember once reading about altitude sickness and how to avoid it is to stop strenuous exercises and really walk slowly and carefully. We could or at least me could feel my head in a whirl a lot of times. It's not as easy as it seems although the roads were paved with bridges and stairs, there were many dried ice in the boards.

Finally reached the peak at 4680m after 3-4 hours climb. We did not even feel the cold at all. Downhill was pretty much easier and poor Hong Ping who was waiting for us was so worried at why were stuck up the mountains for so long. We then hopped along the bus to the other attraction at the mountains, the Blue Moon Valley and the White Water River - loosely translated hahah...Mission Trips are not without their own kind of fun! :P Watch this space for the pics !:P

Me and Carol having fun having snow fights with the rest!

The Titus Watch commercial pic - thanks to Carol who took us from another angle! haha

At some paths down the paths, we slid down the snow on our butts!

The team reached the peak! 4680m!

Having fun in the snow

Missions Trip To LiJiang - continued

Fourth Day 26th Nov 2007 - Monday

I woke up today and felt as if the world took 30 seconds to spin from one point to another. My head hurts and my whole perspective was in a whirl. I was supposed to lead the morning devotions and being the only guitarist around, play two roles at the same time. I simply cannot do it. Take charge O Lord! I told Him today. Really cannot. I do not even have the strength to stand up straight after yesterday's saga. How do I expect myself to do anything? GR was really sweet, immediately offered to help me take over the morning devotion. I just looked at him, far from my usual, loud, boisterous self, "GR, you all must help me again today..There's absolutely not much strength in me." Siew Khim took over the guitar playing and as the Lord led the morning worship. I felt simply wonderful to let God take charge again.

Despite my sickness, missions still have to go on. I would have to help Siew Khim, take over a Primary One class in sharing the story on Noah's Ark and also balloon sculpting. I had to pull Nicholas along. I dun think I could last on my own. True enough, I knocked out for two hours in Francis' room before I could do any work.

The children were wonderful. Their faces showed so much eagerness and enthusiasm to learn and when we taught them "Jesus Loves me" in Chinese, they sang with so much joy. Indeed their attitude was superb. Most of us were teachers in this team and when we saw the children taking initiative to do their duty roster of clearing the school compounds and sweeping the floors, doing the washing and stuff. Man, we were thinking to ourselves, this would NOT be the case for our kids that we teach back in Singapore. The kids back home are too pampered la...

It was wonderful to conduct a lesson with God. When you are at your wits end and absolutely sick and God steps in with a gentle hand. I once again saw how beautiful it was. He paved the way for us so much that even the teacher who took part in the lessons had no objection of us sharing the love of Christ into the classroom!
We were able to share the story of God's promises to mankind through Noah's Ark and also how God's love is meant for everyone. All of us felt a strong sense of burden for the children after realising that these children had been through a lot, some even witnessing their parents' violent deaths before they were sent into the orphanage. We were so touched by their resilence to life and their attitude towards studies. Indeed the children reflected a lot back to us then we would have expected to impact in their lives!

Thank You Lord for your most wonderful work done again in this day....:)


Nicholas coping with the rush of kids that came to him during balloon sculpting.
Me helping out in making the balloon figures for the chilren.

Han3 Feng4 with her new balloon hat!

5th Day - 27th Nov 2007 Tuesday

Was pulled to sit in with the Primary 5 table today even though I hardly got to interact with them. Got to know this very learned boy called Pai Jianyun. He was so learned that as I was helping Carol prepare for her English lesson, drawing her paper plate "angels", he came up to me and started reciting the whole history of the French troops invading Yuan2 Ming2 Yuan2. I was so shocked that such wisdom comes from a 12- year boy. I took him aside and chatted with him and was so amazed at his great knowledge of literature of Lu Xun and many other great authors. These are really tough books for such a young boy like him! As I chatted with him further, I realised his sad past of his parents having passed away from drug overdose and his strong hatred for drug abusers. His dreams, his visions for life all lost in those sad eyes of his. He wants to be a dancer, his one great interest and a policeman so that he could nab all the drug offenders.

I was so touched by this boy. If he was saved he would definitely be a strong influencer for God! Carol had spoken to him the day before and I continued to chat with him. Then, I felt God's presence very strongly, when Jianyun suddenly came to me and said to me, "Ah Yee (Auntie), you looked troubled, you seemed to be very listless, are you okay?" I don't know what came over me and at that sound of that boy's gentle voice, I started crying. Really feeling God's love and concern from the heart of that young boy. He's really special. Ha! Broke off my strong defences and teared, something that I have not done in a long while. Got GR to quickly talk to that boy as soon as possible so as to hope that his heart would be stirred about the message of Christ.

My heart really softened so much today.

Went through the day with the English class with Carol in the P4 level as GR and Nic taught the P3s with the Science experiments all.

I was a different Rachel as I went back to the inn. I started to reflect on how small I am and how sensitive was I to God every single day of my life that I fail to realise that sometimes I go on with the daily chores that I need to do and fail to notice that God cares even for the minute details of my life?

God put in me a burden for Jianyun. I would want to do a little something for him despite my short stay there....


Helping out at the English Lesson for Primary 4s

Primary 4 children participating during class

GR and Nic teaching the P3 class



Lovely, engrossed faces at the class

6th Day - 28th Nov 2007 Wednesday

Went to help out GR at the Science class today after a lengthy discussion with Carol on the flow of the English Class. We really felt that God would do something in the hearts of the children that she would be teaching today. Indeed at the end of her lesson, she broke the good news that 30 young souls were saved! It was amazing to see how God really moved through all the lessons and the children's hearts as the Christmas story was shared.

Jianyun was certainly one of the factors, him being the one to take initiative to ask how he could being a Christian! We were all so glad that God really caused the hearts of the children to really acknowledge the love of God and the gift of salvation. Praise the Lord for the souls saved! Indeed God goes on with His marvelous work being done and I thank God for Carol for being such a woman of great faith and carrying on with the lesson despite of the initial difficulties faced! Well done team!

The P6s on the other hand were also very appreciative of the Science lessons and we had certainly great fun! Our initial thoughts of the P6 children not able to appreciate balloon sculpting were all cast away as we saw how the balloons really opened up the children's hearts. These children are an epitome of how God really loves them and even the simplest of life's things can really amaze and touch them.

WOW GOD! YOU ARE AMAZING! :D


GR at the P6 Science Lesson

Kids all amazed at the peeing figurine

Preparing for the big "Birthday Party" for the children on Thursday! :P

Missions Trip To China 23rd Nov- 3rd Dec 2007

Dear Lord,

Thank you so much for this trip and for the experiences that I felt throughout this period of time. Many times, I could have been defeated and fell along the way, if not for YOU and for all the people who were our prayer warriors supporting us all the way...I would not have made it...

First day - 23rd Nov Friday
Could not sleep the whole night, been packing and planning and praying the whole time, so afraid that I would miss out on anything during the trip. Barely slept two hours when I jumped out of bed at 5 a.m and started printing some last minute pictures which I need for the Games Day on Sunday. Kept receiving frantic calls from Xiu Qin to quickly rush to the airport for check in. The whole day consisted of waiting for transit in between planes from Singapore to Bangkok then from Bangkok to Kunming and finally our destination.
Kept praying throughout the whole trip for all the people I left for a short while back in Singapore, God to move in my heart, God to speak to me specifically regarding the missions work and how I could contribute in this trip. Guess all the tiredness and sickness that I brought along from Singapore did not really help...feel jetlag and having a runny nose all the time...will it stop?
The whole flying thing took us to 7 plus in the evening. We were all greeted by really cold weather of between 0-3 degrees Celsius!
People from the orphanage that we were visiting came to pick us and we had a sumptuous dinner of jiao3 zi4! yum!

Day Two - 24th Nov Sat



Went to walk around the "Old City" (gu3 cheng2) as a tour...had a taste of freshly picked strawberries...man they were so sweet and delectable, we forgot all about hygiene and just kept popping them into our mouths after buying from the tribal ladies along the roadside. They were the sweetest strawberries I have EVER eaten, fresh some more. Took a lot of sights and sounds of the city...must really see for yourself to appreciate Yunnan's varied cultures and the 22 different tribes! The Naxi women are considered to be the more female-dominated tribe, whereby the women are made head of the household! Men are not expected to do any menial work and ladies would have to be garang and take charge of everything..check out my photo links for details! :P A short but very meaningful cultural lesson here.The girls are so forthcoming that some of our dear brothers in the team had their fair share of attention from the girls! Carol and I digged at them "We are VERY SAFE here in this part of China!" tee heee heee...:P



Made a trip to the school in the afternoon and had lunch with the children. Was very impressed by their cultural performances put up. Some of the kids even took me around their school compound and their dominitories. We were already beginning to be very impressed by their strong sense of survival and hearing their many sad stories of how their parents died, our hearts were already very moved and many of us ready to want to do something in the lives of these kids.

We were hosted very well by Francis a Singaporean who forsaken everything he had to work at the orphanage and "Hu2 Mama" a very dedicated and capable lady who single-handedly set up the orphanage more than 20 years ago. She went to the extremes to "collect" all these orphans from all the hill tribes of China, and as we listened to how she trusted God despite all her difficulties faced with the authorities and in getting the finances - 3 million Yuan a year, to run the orphanage we were all in awe. She is certainly one amazing lady with a big heart.

We were treated to a sumptuous meal at the end of the day at a small hotel and restuarant ran by the secondary school branch of the orphanage. The orphanage also provided for the children a chance for them to earn cash and to run a small business for their living.



Hu2 Ma ma Sharing her testimony of how God healed her of her illness to enable her to carry on the work at the orphanage

The secondary school branch of the orphanage where the kids blessed us with their marvelous cooking! A "Dai" Tribe boy presented us a tribal song!

Day Three - 25th Nov Sunday


Lovely shot of me, Carol, Guang Rong and baby Wang Rui! She was the doll of the team every day!


Me with the Primary 3 children who showed me around.

Had a serious lesson from the Lord today: SURRENDER. And what it really means to me.

Just after lunch, I already felt terrible, was so stressed the previous night that we all stayed up in the cold and chilly guys' room on the second floor of the inn that we stayed in, planning the flow of this big "Games Day" and preparing all the materials. It was supposed to be me being the overall in charge, little did I know that I was to be so tested and so weak at the onslaught of the things that were to happen.

I saw Auntie Mag, whom I felt was like my Samaritan for the whole trip, and she commented that I looked very pale and weak. Sat me down at the steps leading to the school hall, and provided me with hot water and medication. I was so weak that words cannot describe how I felt. She rubbed my back and my whole head just went burst. I could no longer think straight and I know that I was living in a whirl for that good one hour in the cold wind, lying on the lap of Auntie Mag in the cold wind. Auntie Mag herself was down with bad gastric pains. If you all are talking about spiritual attacks...I think we were really struck down, just hours before the big event where I had to run the games for the whole school...I prayed very hard underneath my breath.

Francis saw the both of us and kindly offered us his room to rest. That was the beginning of the failing of my health from that point onwards. Shortly after I laid myself down to rest, I threw up all my breakfast, lunch and whatnots. I had not vommitted in years! Aunt Mag stood by me, caring for me, and I really prayed for God to help me, prayed for the people whom I had briefed to to be able to run the rest of the show. I was so so weak that there was a strong battle within me, I want to run the show but my body cannot take it. There at that point, God showed me: Surrender to Him. All my worries and concerns and how the thing is going to turn out. The pictures you see below and above are taken are after my "vommiting" saga. Praise God for sustaining me!

I continued to monitor the running of the games after resting for a few hours in the room until I know I was nearly fainting at the very last part the finale Telematch, too weak to even carry the prizes that we had prepared for the children. That was when my stubborness had taken the toll on me - I have to leave it the hands of Guang Rong, Nic, Carol and Peiqi and Siew Qin to finish what was started for me...I really have to let go...It was certainly a very humbling experience if you ask me. To be so weak and totally dependent of people to save me and to assist me. Thank God for the rest of the team that day and for God to preserve me!

Surrendering really means, leaving it all to the hands of HIM, who would run the show for you, who would ensure you that everything to go according to HIS PLAN not your plan, after you have prayed over the thing and committed the result in His hands. The more you try to hold on to something that God had intended for something better, the more you would struggle. I saw the beauty of allowing God to run things according to His plans that lovely afternoon in Lijiang, and I was truly falling at His feet all over again. To have tried to control the timing and the smooth flow of the program that I had orginally intended would have really marred the children's fun and experience of the whole event.

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
~Proverbs 16:9



Photo collage of the Telematch - Check out the children's faces!
To be continued...

Back in Singapore liao...think my heart's changed a lot...am very sick still...:(

Flying off in about 32 hours....wheezing like crazy...God Help me!

Psalm 71:20

Think I have blogged about this in 2005 about how God saved me through my troubles once again. Am so relieved...

"Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth yo will again BRING ME UP."


Just thought of how undeserving I am of God's mercy I am again...
I must really blog about this to once again testify how wonderful God's goodness is...what I share is going to be really sensitive and it can really shake my world so beware....

I have done a major mistake on my part. I have miscalculated my pupils' marks after printing and after generating the report slips. Can't really blame the system for generating the wrong class position. I should have waited. Been rather complacent over the results and have left it at that for a good two weeks.

It was until last night did i want to go check my results slip and the marks sheet.

I was struck green in the face by what I saw and I could not really sleep after that...

The class position were all WRONG. Not tallying with the results slip.

There's this huge sinking feeling you know that you have done something major, some grave big mistake.

I have already informed the parents and asked to the kid to go for rehearsals for prize giving..what to do man?

I did what was the only thing I could do, I prayed.Told GOd how sorry I was and how careless and asking Him to bring me out of the situation with His wisdom and strength...I really could not sleep...went first thing in the morning...told no one except the HOD...I am in serious trouble.

God is really with me all the way, He helped me through the HOD, how he sat down and resolved the issue with me, gave me advice on how to speak to the parents etc...how he urged me to trust in the Lord too. I was so encouraged!

I decided there and then, my ecapism cannot work, I must do something about it. ANd the very first thing i can do is not to let my emotions and feelings affect what the children are facing today. I decided to let them have FUN. I forsaken every worry at the point of time and joked and laughed with the kids. By the time I was done for the morning, the two kids whom I have spoken to have agreed amicably on their change in their class position. Everything went well.

With much trembling I asked the Malay Mother Tongue teacher to be with me as I break the horrifying truth: that their son has not got that class position after all. To my surprise and relief, He was so kind and mentioned, "I know something is wrong, My son did not get as good grades as last semester, he could not have got that position. I understand where you were coming from and I accept!" I so so relieved that I hugged the mother tongue teacher!! Thank goodness he managed to agree upon a "peace offering' for my mistake.

So amazing was God's grace, it all boils down to doing the very least at the very lowest level, was to trust in the Lord and to continue bringing joy to those around me...Thank You Lord! Once again YOU RAISE ME UP...:)

God is amazing! :)

Had a prayer meeting just over the Sunday Morning before service where our leader shared to us on being opportunistic in sharing the Gospel. It can happen ANYWHERE, be it at your workplace, between friends, even in the context of a funeral setting!

Heard an encouraging testimony about my Care leader that he was so opportunistic that at a certain Christian wake, he even took the chance to witness to the people around him! Such was the amazing extent of the burden that he felt for the lost.

Today after service, realised that we had our dear friend LP coming to service by herself! She has been rather close to us for the past one year and I was amazed by how much she wants to come and hear message and the Word of the God! It was such a surprise visit cos she did not sms anyone of us...

GOd bless her heart of wanting to hear the Gospel. May You touch her heart soon...:) AMen!

Now is the time when opportunity arises, there you have a person willing to hear and know more about God...how are you taking your chances today? :)

Realised a possible GRAVE MISTAKE...shuddering as I am typing this..:S

My dear Primary 1s

Realised today that 3 of my P1 pupils are transferring to a new school on the block!

Was so sad that I called them up individually one by one to talk to them to ask them why they are changing school etc. Two of them had said that their parents think that the new school is nearer to their house and they only need to walk unlike their current school which they would have to take a school bus...

I hugged each and everyone individually, Akmal, Yan Qin and Fatima, will miss them so much...such sweet, well-behaved kids...teared a bit la...sigh...

The scary sound of silence...

Have you ever experienced or come across people who simply cannot respond to you even when you talk to them, smile at them? Say things to them at their Mother Tongue?
It wasn't until I entered teaching did I realise just how pampered and protected I am as a kid. I was hardly exposed to people who are just different. My friends are mostly "normal" kids if you can understand what I mean.

WHen I entered into the Primary School classroom, you have kids who cannot read, dyslexic (read letters and words backwards), autistic kids (quiet,or unable to control emotions) ADHD Syndrome (hyperactive children)...kids that just stare at you, deep down into you, at whatever antics you try to pull...They cannot open their mouth to answer. You wonder to yourself, "What's going on in their little minds? Do they comprehend what you are saying? Do they make sense of the sounds that are around them? Especially those that are speech that are coming from people?"

It is scary...some kids I have come across just simply cannot relay what they want to tell me. They come to me every day,....silently, lifting their homework to me, not uttering a single word, or say a word of good morning. All communication is through their eyes and body movement...Kid Z would always come to me, shaking his legs, eyes are on me, that blank motionless stare ...You would have to comprehend to yourself does Kid Z want : A - Go toilet? B - Someone bullying him? C-I forgot to bring my homework or D - I just wanna come up to you and freak you out. Cos, he simply does not answer ANY of my questions of "What's the matter?" or "What do you want?" There were many times when I could not understand what he was trying to say and he actually wetted and soiled his pants a few times...

I am so sorry that I have to say this....I really don't know how to react. It took me a long while to appreciate Kid Z. He had such a sweet, sweet smile. There was this incident that scared me out of my wits, Kid Z had an asthma attack and it was right there in my classroom. He was sobbing from morning 8am to 930am. I was not first-aid trained and I tried to coax him, talk to him, he cannot tell me what was wrong with him. Finally took him to the general office then found out from the first-aidders that through his sobbing he had a faint wheezing sound...It was ASTHMA! Can you imagine you are autistic and you have an attack for a good 1 and half hours and NO ONE KNOWS? This is so scary!!! A matter of life and death in a matter of seconds!
God's grace and protection was certainly on me and that kid then.

Then just yesterday, another same case kid, Kid S came up to me. He could recognise my common commands and instructions and he would repeat them with much enthusiasm, causing everyone in the class to laugh. Kid S came up to me just yesterday "Teacher, I have not finished my work,"pointing to his unfilled worksheet...in the exact same fashion as his group mate E had just done, but the difference is, with a blank face and a mechanic voice.... You really wonder to yourself, does he do it because he recognise patterns and form? Or does he really understand what he's trying to tell me?
The Lord is really teaching me a lesson on how to really love and appreciate kids properly...

Shivers down my spine again...

Mahna Mahna

My all time favourite Muppets Show! :D

The Other Boot

From Mountain Wings -

The Other Boot
===============
My Father used to tell my brothers and me a story of World War I. While a young soldier was praying before bedtime one night,another soldier told him to stop that noise and threw one of hisboots at him.

The next morning, the soldier who had been praying returned the boot to its owner cleaned and polished, and asked for the otherone and said he would also polish that one.

My father said the young soldier was never abused again. I was only a little girl when my father told this story, but I have never forgotten it.

~Submitted by Meg Seaman, Australia

~ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let himhave your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile,go with him two miles. (Mat 5:39-41 NIV)

Just felt that this email is so divine. Was chatting with my leader about some issues. He said exactly the same thing. Teared a bit over the phone cos its really tough, you see it in writing to turn the other cheek when someone slaps you in one cheek... But you are so hurt by the first cheek already that you cannot turn your neck! My leader urged me to do as much as my human strength allows me to and to stand there and wait patiently. After all, Jesus is still nice to people who mistreated Him.

What if you obey God and you turn your other cheeks and in the end both cheeks are equally scarred, mawed and slapped hard upon, what now? Probably as much as it hurts me, the hand that welded the stroke on my cheek is also hurting so much more inside?

I don't know how long this is going to last. I cannot take it anymore...God help me help me help me....Can I live without a heart?

:(

Good Story from Professor John Powell

This is a good read sent to me by Carol. Enjoy! :D

A true story.>>>>>

Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy...

Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into>the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.

It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange...very strange.

Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew. When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone,

"Do you think I'll ever find God?" I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.

"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing." I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out,

"Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!"

He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line "He will find you! " At least I thought it was clever.

Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a>result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe.

"Tommy, I've thought about you so often I hear you're sick," I blurted out.

"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."

"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.

"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.

"What's it like to be only 24 and dying?"

"Well, it could be worse."

"Like what?"

"Well, like being 50 and having no values or ideals, like being 50 and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life."

I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)

"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!)

He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which>surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time." (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)

"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out.. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit. Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit."

"I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you lovedthat you had loved them.'"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad.

He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.

"Dad."

"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper

."Dad, I would like to talk with you."

"Well, talk."

"I mean...It's really important."

The newspaper came down three slow inches.

"What is it?"

"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that."

Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though hefelt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.

"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."


"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years."

"I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to."

"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.'


"Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He>found me even after I stopped looking for Him."

"Tommy," I practically gasped,

"I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He>said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.'


"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell it."

"Ooh I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."

"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."

In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined. Before he died, we talked one last time.

"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.

"I know, Tom."

"Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?"

"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."


So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- 'I told them, Tommy, as best I could.'

If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.


With thanks,

Rev. John Powell, Professor
Loyola University in Chicago

For every 3 that you save...

Recently I have come to realise some shortcomings of myself and how limited I am as a person...

Sounds like a bleak start to a blog posting but its great to be able to realise how small you are, put down your ego and really acknowledge that I need God's intervention, I need His hand in my career, my life matters and everything. I realise that how much God's help that I need and I really cannot carry everything to my shoulders. I got the blues...

For every 3 pupils that you save from turning bad, 1 child will slip out of the hole in the nets which contained children that you manage to save from drowning. For every 3 children that loves you and adores you, 1 child will view you as the most terrible teacher that he or she has ever met. For every 3 pupils that you helped pass the exam and improve in their work, 1 kid will not pass, no matter how hard you tried. That's when you know, you tell God, God I have tried my best, the rest is up to You...

G is one such little boy. Being very sweet and cute looking, many teachers will be taken in by his looks and not bear to lay their hands on him. When I took G on, he was quite subdued. But two months down the road, horns on him grew and it takes harder than a chainsaw to hack them off.

G is rather weak in his studies and he's in my remedial class. I have coached him and found that he's unwilling to learn nor share his things with the rest of his group mates. This causes a great problem as he slowly "evolved" into a sweet-looking class bully.He would open his big lovely eyes and stare at you and ask you for forgiveness, which would melt many a hardened heart.

During one of those remedial days, he punched a girl very hard in the stomach. Shocked by his behaviour, immediately called his parents, to which you have a protective mother who would go, "My son will NEVER do that, He spends most of his time in the after school care, I have no idea what he does..."
An exasperated beginning teacher with not much experience in handling such parents had nothing to say.

G continued his tour of antics. Drew grafitti all over another girl's worksheet, doodled pencil marks on his bright yellow desk...

SA2 Spelling exam was imminent. Teacher called G's mum again and advised her to watch that G actually prepared for his 30-word spelling. G's mum: "I have been coaching him, but he does not listen to me and watches TV. He's very distracted that boy..." or another response will be "the tuition centre (after school care) which I send him to will take care of his homework..." win liao lor... what can I say?

G was among the only 4 who failed the Spelling exams despite numerous practices in class.

G continued to refuse reading books during silent reading and talks in class. Teacher separates him from the rest. Continues his bad handwriting. Despite numerous nagging for him to write on the lines provided, he mumbles a plain "NO!" and refuses to budge. While his 2 of his group mates have improved from a failure grade to a Band 3 and Band 2 in their English results today. G still refuses to learn.

G missed the passing mark again...

For every 3 that you save... You would have to come to terms that there's this one special child that you cannot save. Is it the environment? His parents? Asking myself now, what kinda parent I would want myself to be when I eventually would have kids of my own....I can only pray and hope that G does not grow up to by a terrible child with bad character, too protected by what parents deem as love for the child...

PSLE marking...marking in school :P

Teaching has its perks and it is now I am enjoying my week's break in school and taking my own sweet pace to mark all the papers and assignments that I have given the kids.

Quite "eng" as some can testify to the number of sms-es and calls that I have been giving out...

Something cute to share la,

Last Friday was a half day for all Muslim students and staff. We were expected to release the kids at 1030am in the morning so that they could go home to prepare for the festive celebrations.

This kid came up to me (obviously not a Muslim).

Kid G: Miss Tham, Miss Tham! My mum's a Malay!

Rac: (thinking to herself what kinda joke they wanna pull) But Gilbert, your mum's Chinese! I have spoken to her and seen her. She's Chinese!

Kid G: No No No! Miss Tham, my mum's a Malay!

Rac: But why do you say that Gilbert?

Kid G: (idignantly) She's born in MALAYSIA! She's a Malay!

Rac: ... ... ...

Kids can be so candid at times :P

What would the Church be without...?

Yes, we need YOU! :)

Love is...

Love is ...

Seeing someone smile after you praise that person...
Your special someone being rescued by some timely thing you did that needed your help...
When you toil, you pray, you watch and wait...

When there is no response is also a response...God in His most precious timing...
Not expecting anything, the risks you take in upholding the principles and what it takes to really take care of someone and be there for someone...

You get hurt, you get stab wounds from sharp words, from hard cold stares, malicious grapevine that puncture your confidence.
Choosing to love, You choose to be that clown when others told you to stop,
Choosing to grovel at the person's feet when others told you to let go and release.

Choosing to do things for the person even he or she may just spurn you, leave you alone in that corner hugging the guitar, playing the tunes...

Allowing God to fill in the emptiness of the heart, infill it with His love before jealousy, hatred, envy, malice, and suspicion sets in...
Fill up my tank with God's love...
He knows the pains of our lives and the desires of our hearts...

But wait, Love is also...seeing the people that we care for be happy releasing it to God, taking a step back...how many times have i said this and blogged this and putting it down literally....?