Decisions, turning points, fresh new start?

Today heard another sad and shocking news...

This latest has been added to all the "shocking" news I have heard for the month. Indeed I am thinking, Okay I have enough share of all these bad news.

I am praying myself not to be judgemental for there are times when I have contemplated disobeying, leaving everything behind, all that I loved and cared for and just give up. Move on. Why still hang on? Why remain faithful? I was this close to getting what I want.

The many nights of struggle. Yes, this latest news has just confirmed a few things and my fears for the past few months...I am indeed alone. The only one left in the group. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ~"My grace is sufficient for you, my power is made perfect in weakness."

1 Corinthians 10:13~"God is faithful, He will not tempt you beyond what you can bear."

These thoughts have seized me and grabbed hold of me so tightly that I am so tempted to take the easy way out. Just go for it...Why wait? Why still believe even?

There is blessing in obedience. How about those who don't? Aren't they in a sense happy too? I am sad and confused...why? Why do it? Why the decision? What went through your minds?

I see friends leaving, appearing in places and doing things that I have never have felt that they would do. This is such a wind of change.

What should I do? Where do I go? Help me Lord!

Dead Flowers

A Mountain Wings Original

MountainWings A MountainWings Moment

#9086 Wings Over The Mountains of Life
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Dead Flowers
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I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away.
As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my budget dwindle.
So many details, so many bills, and so little time. My son Jack was away at college, but he said he would be there to walk hisyounger sister down the aisle, taking the place of his dad who had died a few years before.
He teased Patsy, saying he'd wanted to give her away since she was about three years old!

To save money, I gathered blossoms from several friends who had large magnolia trees. Their luscious, creamy-white blooms and slick green leaves would make beautiful arrangements against the rich dark wood inside the church. After the rehearsal dinner the night before the wedding, webanked the podium area and choir loft with magnolias. As we left just before midnight, I felt tired but satisfied this would be the best wedding any bride had ever had!

The music,the ceremony, the reception - and especially the flowers -would be remembered for years. The big day arrived - the busiest day of my life - and whileher bridesmaids helped Patsy to dress, her fiance Tim walked with me to the sanctuary to do a final check. When we openedthe door and felt a rush of hot air, I almost fainted; and then I saw them - all the beautiful white flowers were black.Funeral black. An electrical storm during the night had knocked out the air conditioning system, and on that hot summer day,the flowers had wilted and died.

I panicked, knowing I didn't have time to drive back to our hometown, gather more flowers, and return in time for the wedding.

Tim turned to me. 'Edna, can you get more flowers? I'll throw away these dead ones and put fresh flowers in these arrangements.' I mumbled, 'Sure,' as he be-bopped down the hall toput on his cuff links. Alone in the large sanctuary, I looked up at the dark wooden beams in the arched ceiling.

'Lord,' I prayed, 'please help me. I don't know anyone in this town.
Help me find someone willing to give me flowers - in a hurry!'

I scurried out praying for four things: the blessing of white magnolias, courage to find them in an unfamiliar yard, safety from any dog that may bite my leg, and a nice person who would not get out a shotgun when I asked to cut his tree to shreds. As I left the church, I saw magnolia trees in the distance.I approached a house...

No dog in sight. I knocked on the doorand an older man answered. So far so good. No shotgun. When I stated my plea the man beamed, 'I'd be happy to!'

He climbed a stepladder and cut large boughs and handed them down to me. Minutes later, as I lifted the last armload into my car trunk, I said, 'Sir, you've made the mother of a bride happy today.'

'No, Ma'am,' he said. 'You don't understand what's happening here.' 'What?' I asked. 'You see, my wife of sixty-seven years died on Monday. On Tuesday I received friends at the funeral home, and on Wednesday . . . He paused. I saw tears welling up in his eyes. 'On Wednesday I buried her.'

He looked away.'On Thursday most of my out-of-town relatives went back home,and on Friday - yesterday - my children left.' I nodded. 'This morning,' he continued, 'I was sitting in my den crying out loud. I miss her so much. For the last sixteen years, asher health got worse, she needed me. But now nobody needs me. This morning I cried, 'Who needs an eighty-six-year-old wore-out man? Nobody!' I began to cry louder. 'Nobody needs me!'

About that time, you knocked, and said, 'Sir, I need you.' I stood with my mouth open. He asked, 'Are you an angel? The way the light shone around your head into my dark living room...' I assured him I was no angel. He smiled. 'Do you know what I was thinking when I handed you those magnolias?' 'No.'

'I decided I'm needed. My flowers are needed. Why, I might havea flower ministry! I could give them to everyone! Some casket sat the funeral home have no flowers. People need flowers attimes like that and I have lots of them. They're all over thebackyard! I can give them to hospitals, churches - all sorts of places. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to serve the Lord until the day He calls me home!'

I drove back to the church, filled with wonder. On Patsy's wedding day, if anyone had asked me to encourage someone who was hurting, I would have said, 'Forget it! It's my only daughter's wedding, for goodness' sake! There is no way I can minister to anyone today.'

But God found a way - Through dead flowers.

'Life is not the way it's supposed to be. It's the way it is.The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.'

~by Edna Ellison~

Trip to USA 7th Dec-19th Dec 2008 Part 1

My best shot at the Grand Canyon!

The Casinoes at the Strip in Las Vegas!

Saw a chow chow at the 17 mile drive at Pebble Bay!

Just got off a 19 hour flight to see San Francisco Golden Gate Bridge!

The family shot - all fresh before a long long journey to the USA!

Comic Relief - 5D TV!

This is Our God - Hillsongs

Am playing this song on stage for tml's Sunday Service...Praise God for all His gifts! :)

A very happy New Year everyone!

My top 3 resolutions:

1. Live Simply - if you do not need it, don't buy it. Trying hard to save money for years but a lot things seems to go down like water if you know what I mean, birthdays, weddings, funds, fees, yes..my biggest contribution...my loans...sigh when will they ever stop?

2. Be on time - yes I have a serious problem with punctuality. Other than being on time for work...I am late for everything...ppl really do get angry with me and I am deperate already to appease some friendships who cannot stand me being late..

3. Read more on His word - What better way is to upgrade myself with more books instead of just be on the comp all the time? I want to gain more knowledge in the Lord through books, reading, of course fasting and praying and reading His word.

So help me Lord!

Luv,
rac

Back from Surfin USA!

Back from a family trip to USA from 7th Dec-19th Dec.

Missed two weeks of service but have thoroughly enjoyed myself in the trip.
Finally cleared my Breakthrough Giving! Yupps you are shocked! Cos its like after so long! But I really felt a sense of achievement. It was not easy but I am glad to have done it and cleared the payment. Believing God's blessings will flow through once I have cleared the debts. Watch this space for all the USA shots! :)

I want to know You more (In the Secret Place)

I want to know You more

In the secret
in the quiet place
in the stillness You are there
in the secret
in the quiet hour i wait
only for You
`cuz i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

i am reaching for the highest goal
that i might receive the prize
pressing onward
pushing every hindrance aside
out of my way
`cuz i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

i want to know you
i want to hear your voice
i want to know you more
i want to touch you
i want to see your face
i want to know you more

P6 Graduation Ball 14th Nov 2008

I am so going to miss my P 6-xers this year. Although I had not taught them literally, but I had actually been through with some of them during the dance practices and rehearsals. The peak period was during the SYF competition this year.
I have not been in the school for long but I am so going to miss them especially my dancesport P 6-xers, Dehua, Wanyi and Jacintha.

They have really put in a lot of effort for the CCA and worked very hard, ever so willing to come down for practices and training.

Sometimes, you just wish that the children would not grow up so fast...

Dehua, Wanyi and Jacintha, I wish you all the best for your future studies!

Love lots, Always!


Me with Jacintha from 6P

Me with Wanyi and Dehua after they had changed into their outfits

The highlight of the night - Dehua and Wanyi jived to "Candyman"

Melissa Lee and me with the dancers

Sick for over 2 months!

Would you believe it? I am sick for over 2 months! The last time I remembered was that I had this recurring cough when I came back from India on the 30th August. I did not recover at all. Lost my voice during Children's Day completely and was husky ever since!

I am so sad now cos I could not reach certain notes that I used to be able to sing. I really suffered during Praise and Worship when I could not reach certain key of the songs sungs....sigh...was on mike for over a month and the cough and flu got me so bad that I am like a tap....gross thought eh?

Asked Michael Santoso to pray for me last Sunday. Its very true, our physical self ties in with our Emotional and Mental health. My body bantered through this year...am very tired and yearning for rest. I want to hang on for one more week yes that's just one more where I can experience a little bit more freedom that I yearned for. Please heal me Lord! Help me to get well soon.

My lovely class 4 Grace 2008

Long Service Award - Hope WAMer

3rd November 2008

I was really honoured to have received the Long Service Award for being in the Adults' Worship Band for 5 years. Yes...time really seems to slip by. I remembered the time sometime in 2003 when I was still a NTU student and was serving in the ushering ministry, when I was giving pamphlets for the congregation.

I saw it. The call for musicians and the magic word just struck me. "We are looking for violinists" I had my old Suzuki 14 year old violin then bought since my Primary school days. Mind you those days we still had to travel all the way to Joo Chiat Office to do worship practice in the ground floor "warehouse" where all the musios squeezed together admist all our props and goods and practiced.

I remembered I was auditioned by Jacob and the twins and I played two worship songs, There's No greater Love and one other which I cannot remember. There, I made it. My debut was in post Christmas 2003. The rest is history.

5 Years...cheers to the last 5 years...do I have any more 5 years to give?

Feels like doing an SK II advert eh?
:)

How much are you willing to lose?

Today's Readings:
Job 9:1-12,14-16
Ps 88:(3) 10bc-15
Luke 9:57-62
http://www.usccb.org/nab/100108.shtml
Audio:
http://ccc.usccb.org/cccradio/NABPodcasts/08_10_01.mp3

How much are you willing to lose?

In today's first reading, because Job had lost nearly everything that was dear to him, he is now in danger of losing his trust in God. Isn't that how we feel when bad things happen to us? We wonder why God has let us down. We think he's being unfair and cruel. It feels like his love has abandoned us, and we choose to trust in our feelings instead of what we cannot see, hear or feel from the Lord.

God never abandons us. The fact is, WE need to abandon everything that is not Godly.

This does not mean that all of us are called to give everything away and embrace poverty in order to be holy, like some of the Saints have done. There are other ways to abandon everything to God, namely, by considering everything as less important than Jesus. Everything is less important than our obedient dependence upon God.

Even those activities that God has called us to do, and even the possessions he has provided for us through our jobs, and even the people he has given to us in relationships: All must be abandoned into an awareness that God is more important.

God and me alone — that's true holiness. From this intimate friendship springs everything else: our families, our friends, our ministries, our jobs, our homes, our possessions, etc. Whatever is good and right for us, whatever will enhance our friendship with God, whatever is a gift of his love for us, these come from the solitude and solidarity of our unity with God.

Job protected himself from a loss of faith by recalling God's awesomeness. He realised that nothing truly matters except God, for he is far greater than all else. He recognised this awesomeness in the vast difference between God and himself: "If I appealed to him and he answered me, how amazing that he would hear my words!" Humility put his terrible situation into the right perspective.

Nothing really matters but God. We can lose everything, and as long as we still have God, we are doing exceedingly well. It might not feel that way, but it's the reality.

Today's Gospel passage reminds us that we have to lose (abandon, sublimate, reduce in priority) everything earthly to follow Jesus, who gave up his home, his career in carpentry, and his earthly life for our sake.

If we look back and miss what we've given up, wishing to once again make them a higher priority than Jesus, we break our unity with him. Who, then, are we following? Where will it lead us?

We must keep our eyes on Jesus. By abandoning everything into his hands, he gives back to us whatever truly is right and good.


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© 2008 by Terry A. Modica

I opened my mouth to speak and no words come out of my mouth...

Yes folks, its husky Rachel for the past 1 week. In fact today it has made a turn for the worst. No voice at all...absolutely none. I thought that the one day break would do me good but nooooo....Not even the microphone can help me in anyway...I am in pain today as I have to scribble everything on the white board as instructions.
Help me Lord, Help me...

Lost my voice!

hey hey yes...I was supposed to blog about my India trip...too tied up with work...fell sick again :( lost my voice totally first time in my teaching career!
Had to rely on a mike to speak and teach on Friday. I had really hard time making myself understood the last few days...can't believe the day has come..showdown.
Collected back the work that I gave out the kids, could you believe it when the kids are nodding furiously over what you have taught them and when you mark them its all rubbish? sigh...

get my voice soon ya...coughed till I can't sleep the past few night..yes it will be over soon...

I'm hurt badly...by words that were spoken by a dear friend...should we still stay as friends?

My Yearbook

Found a funny website where you could upload a photo of yourself and create some really vintage looking pics! Had a good laugh after looking through them...www.yearbookyourself.com


me circa 1954...

me circa 1962

me circa 1964

me 1972

This one takes the cake! me circa 1982

In India

I don't know why everytime, i go off with a trip with to developing countries I would fall very sick. Vomitted at the school staffroom today. So funny, due to language barriers with the staff, they could not understand what I had wanted. Was so sick that I could not eat for the whole day...India's learning experience is great! will blog more...watch this space...:)

What's in a gift?

This is a question that closely ties with the highly successful book - The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I think this is not just a ladies thing. I really do value special dates and occasions a lot. I was having quite a lot of expectations over the weekend for my birthday but mostly I just wished for a simple sms.

Was very happy that most of my friends sent me messages to encourage me of my birthday. Was sad that one particular one did not...What had happened that had caused us to come to this stage? I was upset, I was totally affected.

That was when I suddenly remembered my Dad's golden words. "Do you really expect everyone to give u a gift? Sometimes, the gift you received may not be what you really need or wanted. So then, what for a gift, rather than the gift of the person's presence and well-wishes?"

I was jostled out of my socks. Such was the shallowness of my character. To expect a physical gift as an expression of love from my family and friends? But I really do think one of my love language is really Gifts. Experiencing love through receiving gifts.

I told God that, hey God You, in Your Almighty power, help me manage and handle my expectations. I cannot take it anymore. I went with a relaxed heart to meet them and although the response I got from them was really not what I had expected. I was thankful and glad for their response. Give thanks to the Lord that for every one that you yearn and hanker after for attention, God grants and gives lovingly 30 others who would really remember you and care for you.

Relax, leave it in God's hands, the power of presence really surpasses and outweighs the physical receiving of presents! :)

Weight Check: 65.8kg I am rapidly RAPIDLY decreasing weight..Where have all all the food gone to?