Thursday, October 06, 2005

Girls' NITE out!!

30th September 2005

eheheh sorry for this overdue posting...Really look forward to today, its a long awaited Girls' night out for Jeannie, Sarah and me! we have been like close sisters since NTU days..sorta "grow" together in faith lah heee..went to Word for life courses today and served today very closely, Sarah and me were in the Core Team under Jeannie back in NTU days when she was our CL. ...anyway, we are really tied up with work and ministry..Jeannie's now in University Support Ministry and working as a Hostel Officer and Sarah, a very busy auditor in another Sub D all together, the NG1 group and me in NG5...really treasure the time we could meet up like this cos its really really rare...:)

Met up with Jeannie first, wahahh i gotta blog this..reached Far East Plaza at around 615pm and saw Dennis who was waiting for Guang Rong...he was soooo soooo SHY! I have to keep turning my ear at him to catch what he was actually speaking man! hahah he din turn to face me when he was talking to me...so farnie! wahaha...me and Jeannie raided the Level One at Far East to shop for a suitable bag for Tony our former SDL wahaha....went to this "Ah Beng" looking shop and saw a really nice sling bag with leather straps...but then me and Jeannie were super amused by the "Ah Beng" store assistant, He kept talking to us with the deep "throaty" voice that the bengs use to talk in...wahahah...describing all the bags...

(*Cue: deep throaty voice*) "Duhhh, this bag is very suitable for your friend, Duhhh, how tall is he ah?" I can't wipe the smile off my face...my cheekiness is oozing out....wahaha wanna suan him there and then lei and mimick his voice!! wahaha..Jeannie mentioned, "COS i am shopping with an AH LIAN mah..." In the end we splurged on bags for ourself and our dear brother Tony at another shop!! wahahh sorry lah beng!!

Went to The Coffee Club at Takashimaya and waited for our dear friend Sarah who was really caught up with all the auditing work...treated ourselves to Caesar's Salad and Cheese Pasta...really sinful i tell you...so long nebber eat like that already... then we had teas and coffee like 3 true blue "tai tais" I tried this strawberry flavoured tea and it smells so good!
We din seem to run out of ideas to talk....so good, sat there and chatted for a good 2 hour plus..forget about shopping hee hee..:P Met another sister Brenda there too..:)

What a great night! Looking for more chances like this to go out too..:)

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

25th September 2005

Played for 3 services!!

haahh today is the first day i am going to step outta my house to church with my new hairdo! woke up like super early than usual when i am on duty to get ready..wahahaha..can you imagine a whopping 5:30am!!
actually also lately God has already woke me up super early lately to pray...after a short time of prayer and worshipping with a short song, i started to twill my hair..its such a hassle man! with all the hair products and all! :P
Reached church slightly late at around 740pm..must start practising to really prepare myself to work faster on my hair otherwise i will be late for work all the time man!

Today's Sandy turn to share testimony! Really encouraged by her humility and her courage to share her testimony on stage..She had a healing testimony also..her eyes had kept tearing from the morning, was so afraid that she had contracted sore eyes too! But when Chai Choo prayed for her ..her eyes were healed..:P

Thank God for this sister who has really brought me so much joy in the caregroup, one of the buddies in my group that helped me to adapt to adjusting life in Adults group also.

The praise songs today are :You Gave Me Love, Awesome in this place, My Redeemer Lives,
Worship: Exceeding Joy, You are Holy, Divine Exchange

Prayer Meet: Jesus Loves Me, and I have decided to Follow Jesus

During the practice session, we also made a joke that whenever the violin starts any worship song its sounds soo so sad..i played the Jesus Loves me intro and it really takes out the "kiddiness" in the song that initially thought it will be..gave myself a new attitude in playing the song also

We made this comment that every time Leeveh leads, our Praise songs very shiong for all the musios..wahahah....really fast paced leh all the songs..we were quite outta breath by the time the Praise ended..esp for the drummer Wendy...(I LURVE YOU WENDEEE!) wahah my fingers were sore!

So farnie, Anthony jumped peg again due to the cold temperature and partly because i had put new strings on him...the D string went super off key!! i was about to do the intro for My Redeemer lives when ..."eh, how come "zhao sia" whaahh do a immediate transposing on the spot on stage...so stress when your instrument do this to you!! wahah..

Everyone teased me on my new hairdo...one of my bestest frens in church, Sarah Lau, made a loud comment when i told her the price.."WAH TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS AH?!!" yeah that's it...we two combined can put all the loud hailers to shame..:P she's a very dear sister to me...:)

Rushed through lunch to then join Peiqi and Li Hong in the planning of the Emceeing on Saturday's Sub D Sports Day. They were celebrating Teck Kiong's birthday at Meridian ...he's also one of the first few brothers in NTU who made me really like the family of Hope bros and sis also..heheh...

After much laughter on how we are going to emcee the event, rushed to play for Filipino service at 4pm and was really encouraged by their attitude towards serving God and their heart for Praise and Worship! you all should have seen how they worship God! its really a overflowing of joy and happiness and a very strong sense of enthusiasm! really applaud Levveh also...you all know tat he had actualli morning duty that Sunday till 730am at IMH before leading worship for 3 services? really thank God for his heart and dedication to the church...

Had a late celebration of my mum's birthday at the Ang Mo Kio's Jack's place, the place where our family faithfully visited for 20 years!! wahaha...she's really happy lah..and we bought her a cake and sang the birthday song for her at the restaurant....:) great day...man i was shacked out by the time i reached home...plonked down and slept at 1130pm!! just so so tiiiiireeeeddd...zzzzzz....

Monday, September 26, 2005

Rachel's BIG BANG theory!!

24th September 2005

Woke up with a tinge of excitement in my heart....me and Mingzhu going to do it today!!
wahahah remember the Plug-In 2 weeks ago? We had actually bought some vouchers and we are going to splurge on Jean Yip of all places...

for months i have lived on messy-dried up hair cos one thing no money to go and cut or rehighlight lah heheeh..so made an appointment with the salon and tried to find the place after much difficulty at United Square at Novena...apprehensive lah....whipped out calculator and started counting the costs...super ex leh to do rebonding or perming...

That's it decided to go for digital perm...rather sick of my hair tho...cos i din change my style of hair cut for years bah...Mingzhu decided on a rebonding new do...THAT is the start of the agony....my agony at least....they really set us up..pour chemicals on our hair and stuff...that alone took about 2-3 hours....man i was so hungry as i did not have any breakfast...then Mingzhu had a really lovely straigthening done...me really scared cos heard lots of horror stories on how people would look older and all....

well...the perming took about another hour.... 4 hours in total with all the treatment and preparation..wah say...how did the girls normally do it man? sigh i could do so many things in 4 hours!! By the time we were done its already 3pm!! we were there since 11am! wah....

hahah effects din turned out as the pictures in the book lah hehe...

so farnie...had actualli took pics of myself and sms loads of ppl about my new hair do..tml's going on stage...we have to NOT WASH our hair for 2 days!! EEEEEWWWWWWW......

had a great time with Mingzhu as she shared about the breakthroughs in her sister's relationship and her heart to want to serve God in ushering! i was so encouraged by the work of God in her life! Indeed ...God is so much more than we can ever imagine...this seed of faith in her has really strengthened so much that even when she prayed for her sister...i could really sense her desire to see God move in her family's heart...such a small inconspicuous me...such a great God!

*Mingzhu if you read this hope you dun mind cos really feel that must encourage you also..:) God honours those who hearts are wholly after Him...1 Samuel 16:9..*

We reached the Kreta Ayer CC...very shy to go in cos have been telling Poy and all that we are not playing the badminton...the "hiao" side of me refusing to play and make my hair dirty....received a lot of teasing from the guys....had a great time marking Dennis' school papers haha....and singing Christmas carols... me actualli played badminton a while with yicheng as my partner......

dun know the rules ..hahah kena trashed by Guangrong and KK...hahah wait you all play with me contact games me so not a racket games person...challenge me volleyball and basketball lah...i am more "chor lor" although my looks now dun warren it..:P

there..my "Big Bang (on-my-head) theory...get it? wahahahaha...

Emotionally draining week

18-23rd September 2005

I know by the time that i have written this down..i have gone through quite a bad emotional struggle...this period of time..all my intimate thoughts with God are written into a small blue book which i carried with me lah...
had actually fasted and prayed together with CC and Kim on Tuesday...we all need this "Anchor Point" in time...so that we would not be tossed and turned by the waves i guess...how true the Bible is!

i have a bad habit of siaming...hahah but this time round i really pulled myself to face all the problems..talk to God about it....examine my thoughts and actions...why i am subjected to this kind of emotional onslaught again ?
every single time i seem to be hard hit and i dwell in them...on tuesday...jamming session for WAM on Sunday..all the songs speak to me~

"You gave me a love that cause my heart to overflow,
You gave me a love much deeper than I'd ever known,
You have set my feet upon the ground,
Put within my heart a brand new song

You gave me a love, offered my life a brand new start
You gave me a love sent straight from Heaven to my heart,
Further than the east is from the west,
Taken all my sin and brokeness...

You gave me love, You gave me love

I can see better days ahead,
Our land will dance again because of You,
Voices will be heard with shouts of joy
You've done mighty things, let the nations sing..

You gave me love, You gave me love
You gave me love, You gave me love..."

I think i must have cried a bit when i was practising the songs....kept asking God to fill the void that i had in my heart....indeed God is good! I was filled with this unexplainable joy and my heart was strengthened. It's really true that Praise and Worship heals the soul and heals when you lean onto the Lord.

This period of time, my perspectives were once again set straight by God and there was this assurance from Him that He will always be with me no matter what...i look forward to Sunday where i could really praise Him and offer up sacrifice to God thru music. This is really a breakthrough if you ask me...I have not asked God for help so fervently before...indeed i was really really down...but its His love shown through many people around me and this assurance from Him that kept me going...I have a purpose and my purpose is not done yet...God is so not done with me yet...

Dun rush..wait , trust..hear His voice more..:)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Snow, Wolf, Lake!!!

16th September 2005

YEAH! its Snow ,Wolf, Lake day!! Already i stepped into the office looking forward the end of the day!!
hahaha...this is the day i have waited 7 years for it...so farnie looks like every single thing that i have been going through i have been waiting for a number of years for it...think this is the appreciation that comes from waiting for something so long that when it finally comes to pass or its here you really TREASURE the time......

although this time round it is showcased in Mandarin, having heard the Cantonese songs before...i had quite an expectation of this musical...last time too poor lah...the Cantonese version was shown during my JC days...met up with Angela from the other group, Vincent and Shuwei and Poy with a spanking new hairdo and hair colour....looks good oh....we tried to have dinner at Macs there but was really tied for time as the crowds were all there...

in the end we packed and sat at the pavillion at Kallang MRT to wait for the our groups respectively..it turns out that the other CG NG5A1 is going too! hahah...then heard that Peiqi felt sick and can't come for the Snow, Wolf, Lake tix...my first instinct is to ask my baby to come from home....okie my baby is my youngest sister..:) love her lots and she used to go to concerts with me...heheh..had a mad rush to exchange tix at Sengkang MRT and then to meet baby at Kallang MRT....in the end....realised that baby will be sitting away from me....in a desparate cry to ask people to exchange seats with me so that she can sit beside me....no one responded...then ah....Ai Ai mentioned, "Ask Poy lah!" ...it seems that he is really the only guy we can turn to now...

I have told someone before that its not words or anything fancy that touches me..but simple acts of kindness....the moment i called Poy and explained to him the situation...he gave a "OK, no problem" just like that....no hestitation...it really feels to me that he was ready to agree already without me asking for him to change seats with my sis...so that Baby can sit beside me during the concert....was really really touched....thank God for this bro leh..really dunno how many times i have praised him already...he's like the "dai gor" to each of us...caring for our needs..taking charge of everything...

The musical went on...hahh we are sitting so ooooo high up in the balcony that we could hardly see the actors on stage!
initially we thought that they would project the images on the big screen but nnnooooooo...well then the live singing is really really good....esp the song "Zhen Mo She De Ni" wow! it was sung when Wolf, was missing the ger, "Xue" when he was in prison...so sad.....really love his voice..altho could not agree more that the Cantonese version sounded much betta...me and everyone else who were there, Bernard, June, Jiawei, Shuwei and Vincent, really enjoyed the show...:)

the characters sang really well altho the sets were really small from where we were..and we could not really see very well... i must say this is a blessing from God that i can get to watch this musical from Peiqi!! the moment we walked out..we kept humming the tunes and singing a bit to the songs...its just soooo nice...:)

15th September 2005

THE VIOLIN EXAM!

This has to be the day that i am waiting for a very long time....its been two years! can u imagine with me? 2 years since i took up that form that WAM is looking for musicians during that fateful Sunday when i was serving as an usher....saw that WAM needed more musicians including violinists...i signed up right away...

Was a rather new member to Hope then...already serving in usher some time le....was hoping this is another direction to serve God in...always felt that i have a betta tendency to music...having served in the Christmas Choir in 2002.

Got through the auditions waaaaaaayyyy back in September 2003, i was serving as a Core Team in my CG, taking care of 2 sheep, even urged by my team leader then to rise up to be a Team Captain for Usher team B...too many responsibilities i guess...too little time for God...hence could explain why i fell away for a while..:) Could vividly remember the time when i first stepped into the audition...it was way back in Joo Chiat at our church office cos we used to have that place on the ground floor as our storeroom...:P played with the band for the very first time...hahah remembering meeting the Hope Twins...Geoffrey and Gerald... and Jacob ...played the worship song "No Greater Love" ...subsequent first time i played for service was in dec 28th 2003...can imagine Kim saying this now..."mega memory" hhahah was telling my friends that i rem the weirdest things....cannot rem my studies!! hahah..i had then decided to take up violin lessons to improve my skills again to play betta for God...

The journey to this path has not been easy..i had actualli stopped taking violin lessons for more than 11 years!! altho i played to different scores myself...the process can be really tiring when you had school and projects to meet ....so then it took me 2 years to prepare for this violin exam...to get my basics right again...

The morning i sprang up as usual...after much praying start to rehearse already for the violin exam...must be too nervous..all the basic scales sounds soooooo terrible!!! then my mum needs help in her computer stuff and keep asking me for help....my stress was already up my neck!! i nearly lost my temper at her...my mum actually then blessed me with 50 bucks more to pay for the transportation! wow! regretted i was so irritated with her moments ago..

Rushed down to Kovan where my exams will be held to meet Salome...warmed up a bit at the studio before heading down to the actual exam venue...The exam testimony is really amazing i tell u...both me and Salome are Christians so we prayed before we went into the studio...think ah..God must be preparing me for this exam cos having put me to work in "ang mohs" in DHL...haha i was not that afraid already as compared to my younger days when i took the exams...i was greeted by a really friendly looking guy and already my fear is dropping...i started on scales first....ahahahh can you imagine? I FORGOTTEN MY DIMINISHED SCALES IN A!!!!!!!! arghhhh

smiled and keep trying the scale...cannot come out....think ah its really times like this that God wants u to trust Him....i keep smiling lah and trying to remain calm....hahah then the examiner urged me to play another scale instead..that's the dimished scales in D...played it...then i managed to peep at my score cos i was rather tall mah eheheheh..i got 18 upon 21 marks!! that's God's grace for you!! then played the exam pieces....all the difficult notes could come out altho i still make many silly mistakes....ahahah....sight reading was awful...could barely manage the piece at first sight have to play leh....then another testimony...for the Aural and Sight Singing component...i was passed a passage whereby i have to read the notes and sing......it was EXACTLY the passage that i had practiced the night before!! can you imagine my surprise? felt like telling the examiner there and then.." HEY, i know how to sing this!" hahah of course not lah....throughout this whole exam God was really with me...treated myself and the pianist to a lunch at Sakae's Sushi afterwards..hehe

Thank God for bringing me through this whole period of struggling during rehearsals and actualli setting aside money to pay for all the fees....really God provides....as i look back on this path that i have taken...i appreciate the times of stretching....its only at the times when you are weak then you can only cling onto God!! May my results edify God! awaiting 5 more weeks...:P

13th September 2005

Super STRESSED and stretched!!

Lemme share with you all I could still feel the effects of that particular hectic week…There is only two more days left to my violin exams and I had only met my pianist Salome TWICE…tensions are mounting and coupled with me being very financially tight is not really helping. …Firstly I had tried to book my exam studios for the violin to start practicing but being so last min all the studios are fully booked…fully stressed, plus Monday was the day I took over the major reporting of each country performance report for …get this..26 COUNTRIES…the stress can be a bit overbearing…the sales data figures are out and my new “ang moh” boss is very demanding…he keeps coming at me every half an hour to check on my progress…I really at a loss on what to do cos the reports are very complicated for an IT idiot like me for the “gurus” out there reading this blog…if you know what’s VLOOKUP is about….i was really having a hard time writing the formulas and trying to adjust all the worksheets in order…

Initially, I had tried to set the timing to 1230 so that I could meet my pianist in peace and practice the violin..but this was not to be…hahah the reports really met with so many problems..already through Monday before Word for life I had already been carrying my lappie all over the place and even was stopped by the S11 management to not use their power supply!

Stress is written all my face I think..cos think the people who are closer to me could feel it….well..have been missing lunches just to complete the really tedious report….come 1pm…cannot make it lah…I am missing out the precious time I could have with my pianist….chop chop save the report into my thumbdrive and placed it on my boss’s table…apologized profusely for my rush…and really packed and scooted outta the office from the cargo lift!!

Trying all means to avoid him…had already took urgent leave in the afternoon…dun wanna waste this leave mah…when I reached my pianist place already half dead I tell you…:P Stress has been keeping me awake through the nights…what’s more had an increased sensitive to God’s voice…have been woken up by Him with a start almost every other day…with names appearing in my head to pray….indeed ever since I started on the Powerful Praying Church WFL class…my burden for praying has really increased…there were different names all the time…sometimes its praying for situations…and everytime I would pray until I fall asleep again or there’s this peace in my heart…:P

Okie back to my day…after the rehearsal…I had really bad neck and shoulder pains….
Wanted to save money by waiting for bus to go home and rest…cos there’s WAM Volunteer’s night in the evening..cannot make it…splurged on a cab again….really plonked down on my house’s sofa to sleep….must have strength for the WAM Volunteer’s night….

Come evening when I went to meet Wendy and Pam for dinner…we were all half dead…everyone is so not feeling well….Wendy had an upset stomach…me lethargic….Pam was also stressed….Then met my ex sheep Limin from NTU who was going for the WAM night too..she gave me a really pretty bracelet and a sweet card…a very belated bdae present.could not stop smiling later….its so nice to hear from her again!!

Had a really refreshing time during the WAM night…cos Jasmine shared with such passion and from her heart that we were all stirred..

We are all called to prepare the way into the Presence of God, cos when there’s a tangible presence of God, things change, people change!
We were also challenged to have a prophetic edge in our worship..that’s to say to hear God’s Word in our worship and in the services…we should not feel down or inadequate cos we can expect something different from God and that we are sent by God called by Him for a purpose…

Many times I feel that I really do not play well enough …as compared to those having higher grades than me ..cos there are some occasions that some Singapore Youth Orchestra people came and took my violin and the moment they took Anthony up..their fingers ran across the board like lightning!!!! Wow! Then it occurred to me ..God called me to this ministry….He will provide and He will use me to minister to His people…pray that my heart will so trust in Him!!

Jasmine also prompts us to have a preferring attitude in worship…others before self…with the harvest in mind…that’s the essence of our worship unto God….

What a refreshing night! Indeed my worries are really reaffirmed again by God! (

Celebrated Steve my fellow “kaki” in WAM (also the sax player) birthday..sang Happy Birthday..mind you he’s 30 and he does not look a day older than 27!! Terrible…what’s up with these people? What do they eat?

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

10th September 2005

Will post some photos on Dennis and Cryst's birthday makeover celebrations...let the pics speak for themselves..:) hahah

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

some photos from Plug In! 10th Sep 2005






wanna share these photos with you all..the tertiary outreach event we had at Spinelli's where we invited a guest speaker Merwyn from Jean Yip group to speak to us...i am so glad that my friends came!! :P

CG day!

8th September 2005

Very look forward today...its CG day...went into the small room at Fairfield and practised on Anthony again....the room was really hot cos it was facing the sun...all the heat was trapped in it!
Today's is unit CG..where Guang Rong shared bout the importance of keeping a log of our prayers and thoughts to God...its actually like love letters lah...very sweet just between you and God!..:) been rather Mel lately..sending alot of mel songs across to CG and friends...a lot of struggles and thoughts going through my mind...some of them has been rather personal so yeah its all in the little blue book that i am carrying....wrote down my many struggles....my thoughts and prayers to God...you know...all these really encourages me whenever I am down...to have a handy book with me to keep track of my walk with God!!

Dennis sat beside me today...hahah little did he know of the "devious" plan that we are going to do to him on Sat...so exciting..we are going to dress him up!! yeah make over!! i kept telling CC that he looks quite good...so with a little dressing should be really good...i deliberately put my feet next to his...rem that he told me his shoe size about the same as mine we had already bought him sandals and a new shirt....;P hope he appreciates what we are doing...then ah after CG we did not go home as usual...Poy drove me, GR and CC and we four sat and planned CG along the route to his house and in his car! Was supposed to drop me and CC first...but in the end...knowing us...we talked and talked...we had to ask Poy to drive to Yishun first to drop GR hahah from Sengkang!!

so fun! in the end..Cryst is going for a make over also...can you imagine with Poy and his car around..we are never going home early...*hahah dun kill me please...* we planned until 12 plus..way past midnight...tired but happy..can't wait for tml when we would choose Cryst's pressie...:P

The road leading up to the VIOLIN EXAM!

6th September 2005 Tuesday

Dear all,

I am BACK!! hahah not because i have disappeared from the face of this earth but that really had a very busy few weeks...dunno how to describe to you all...It started all with the 1st time i did a Performance Report for 26 countries! Remember that i was carrying a laptop all the way with me?
super stressed and the reports can't seem to finish ...today is the first day i started my violin rehearsal with my pianist Salome...its so great to work with fellow sisters in Christ...the studio owner happens to know one of the Hope twins, Geo..and she charged me so low for the booking of the studio..at only 20 per hour! The practice went well tho needs lots more improvement..already so tired and arm and neck pain from work...

The rehearsal is the first for the violin exam next thursday at 15th Sep! whee man i was tired...but i had a lot of fun finding out about Salome's life and what she likes...later i sent her home at Adjunied Crescent......messaged Poy cos my rehearsal place is at Kovan....wanna come out for coffee? silly Poy..me waited and waited for him...i already drove very slowy home..he din message...wait until around 1130pm when i have already returned the car then he came by... fetched Wilson and CC in the car then we all went for prata at Jalan Kayu..
hahha...my dad was so worried that he called and called...according to CC that Poy drove so fast home that night that she was so afraid that something would happen...thank God we are one piece..but really thank God for Poy..."mei you hua jiang"...:)

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

In Humility consider others better than yourself...

Read this somewhere...can't really remember where...realise that I have been unknowingly build myself castles in the air.. be it my abilities or knowledge or just simply being pleased with myself...
Somehow God kept showing me verses these few weeks to love Him , The One, it makes all sense, to keep my heart humble and to look to Him! I realise that once again how small i am and how unworthy and how He IS actually in charge and not me...

Felt really blessed by these few words....should be from the Daily Bread bah...

"Man is happy when he has a utensil that remains whole and is saddened when it breaks. GOD on the other hand, whose most cherished possession is a man's heart, delights when it is broken in humility." ~ Anonymous

Think after i read this passage I teared..cos how true it is...when my first violin broke how sad i was i kept crying...but then my heart is not broken enough for God! Dear Lord Jesus, Take my heart and make it Yours! Let me restore this first love that I have in You again, mighty, wonderful God!

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me

Think Sandy might have blogged about this in her blog too, been jamming the CD that she has lent me "WOWs #1 on my player really like the lyrics...think its really ministering...its great to keep imagining that we can see GOD face to face everyday and that He to speak to us just like that so close to us...I have always wondered what God would look like or be like. He would be firm yet gentle, strict yet approachable, majestic yet as humble as a servant. Looking too that I can spend the rest of my days worshipping God, dance and sing for Him? :)

I Can Only Imagine by Mercy Me
I can only imagine
What it will be like
When I walk By your side
I can only imagine
What my eyes will see
When your face Is before me
I can only imagine
[Chorus:]
Surrounded by Your glory, what will my heart feel
Will I dance for you Jesus or in awe of you be still
Will I stand in your presence or to my knees will I fall
Will I sing hallelujah, will I be able to speak at all
I can only imagine I can only imagine
When that day comes And I find myself Standing in the Son
I can only imagine
When all I will do Is forever Forever worship You
I can only imagine
[Chorus]
I can only imagine [x2]
I can only imagine
When all I will do Is forever, forever worship you

Monday, August 29, 2005

Boo Boo 3

29th August 2005

Boo Boo 3

Can you believe it? I can’t believe I am going through my days like that God must be laughing at me now...terribly...Ask Mingzhu and I am known for the many boo boos i created all the years that she known me..…today felt like wearing this light –white skirt which I bought from Hong Kong…went to meet Lee for lunch today at Bugis.

She wanted to pass me a package to send to her sister in Shanghai..hey you all reading this, note that I have a 75% discount in sending stuff…its really worth it!! J I can help you all send stuff next time man!

So then, she wanted to buy some really delicious mooncakes from Raffles Hotel so both of us wearing skirts and heels mind you, lugged the package to Raffles Hotel then Lee practically swept the whole counter!! Muahahah she bought the champagne flavoured mooncakes which were so yummy! We walked back , Lee carried the mooncakes and me the package so our hands were pretty much full…then while walking the distance from Raffles Hotel to Bugis again and passing by National Library when strong winds suddenly BLEW UP our skirts!! Lee went, “Chun1 Guang1 Zha4 Xie4” terrible…we were super unglam and really stuck there by the roadside very helpless…trying very hard to use the mooncakes and package to pin our skirts down….

Finally Lee and me decided to grab our skirts tighter and walk with whatever we are holding, so imagine with me, Two OLs, with make-up on, heels and all, grabbing tightly to one end of their skirts while a super strong wind kept blowing up their skirts…carrying lots of things crossing the traffic junction at Bugis…what a sight….

The Start of all the Boo Boos

28th August 2005

The start of all the BOO Boos

Yeah…Boo Boo 1: all those who know me will say that I am a joker and all the things that always happen to me always can make a person scratch head as in why such things can happen to a me …:P

Okie, early in the morning, I had plugged my instrument and tried to play it during sound check…..believe it or not….the SOUND could not be amplified no matter how hard I sawed at the strings! God had spoken to me about this issue in my heart of sin and pride and immediately I confessed to God and repented for the sin….really terrible and fearful of what’s gonna happened cos God has spoken to me in clear voice, “ I will make your instrument VOICELESS” I was blur at the time what it meant but then suddenly when I remember, it made a lot of sense…God does not desire a lot of sacrifices from us, not just serving, He just wants our heart and obedience..just as what the sermon was sharing today…I was making a fool on stage again lah….CN then asked me this trick question “Hey Rachel, have you turned on your violin?” I was like…..speechless…and for a second, i DID press some "imaginery" switches on the violin..then I shot back, “My dear bro, how do you TURN ON a violin?” another backup singer, Andrew went, “Rachel, speak to your violin and it will play!” I did!!! Then this one takes the cake, Fenny went, “Just sing what you play on your violin lah!” I responded by mimicking the sound of the violin with my voice and everyone on stage laughed although we were supposed to be prepared by then…sigh…


Really thank God for making known of the issue in my heart…it was only after I stopped making a fool and really calmed down and prayed to God sorry, I am truly sorry did the sound finally restore! Praise God! Then I also realised how we must daily consecrate ourselves serving as Levites before the Lord before we can come before Him with our offering just like in the old testiment..this is really the Word living out again...

Boo Boo 2: I was accompanying Caizhu and Mingzhu with this sis from another group called Lilian to be re-admitted to the hospital. This sister’s joy that overflows from her really touched all of us.. we could tell that she was walking with some difficulty as she could not really turn her head and have to turn her whole body to talk due to the “guan jie yan” arthritis problem and also her feet could not really bent that well.

Throughout the whole procedure to re-admit back into the hospital she’s very joyful, even though she knows that she had to re-admitted for further more checks on her..she’s pretty cheerful and laughed and joked with us a lot…. Even the healthcare workers who are taking care of her are smiling at her chattiness and happiness throughout the whole routine checks. That is another expression of God’s joy in her life! We were really blessed by her spirit even though we could tell that she’s obviously in pain…we are trying to make her laugh even more cos the situation in the hospital is already very grim…..there was an old lady opposite us in the bed across who looked very sick too and we were so scared that we disturbed them by our vain attempts of stifling our laughter…

At one point of time, Lilian asked me, “Rachel, could you help with the food…” I immediately cut her, “ ..PUT IN THE FRIDGE ah?” and pointed to the small cupboard you know the one where you can find by all the hospital beds one by her bedside…immediately all of them started to burst out laughing…THERE’S NO FRIDGE!!! So Malu!! I realized my boo boo and went up to open the cupboard to discover it filled with clothes….we really had good laugh…Mingzhu and Caizhu started to point at every single thing in the room and asked me like a small child “Rachel, what is this ah? Not a fridge okay?” muahahahahah..well that’s Boo Boo 2. Me and my big mouth…I shall learn to be more loving next time and let people finish their sentences!! ….:P I dun think I can EVER fit into a hospital , think I will drive the nurses mad….



It's WAM Week!! :)

28th August 2005

It’s WAM week!!


This has to be the first time that I work under the Filipino Worship Leader Leeveh, (pronounced “Leh-vi”) hahah his full name is Leveeh Ian Pastor! Wow can you imagine if he really become pastor one day he will be called “Pastor Pastor”? corny but…

First heard him sing in the 2003 Church Camp at Orchard Hotel during the SARS period remember? Wow, the moment he sang…he totally won us over! Can still remember the song he sang then, “In the name of Jesus, in the name of Jesus, we have the victory…”
You all could remember him as Nicodemus in the play “Song of Nicodemus” during Church camp this year. Could really feel his heart and passion for people in his workplace.. really a true example of what salt and light in the community meant.
He first came to Singapore in 2000-2001 I think ..as a young nurse with not much experience in IMH. Slowly as he shared, more and more of the staff in IMH came to join his unit…his Unit now consists now majority of IMH nurses!!

The Filipino ministry had a really tough time but the impact and the zealousness of the people is simply amazing…:) they had prayed to God fervently for 500 people in the Filipino service by end this year as they had fluctuated around 400 people in the service for a very long time. You know what? God blessed their ministry so much that by June they already had more than 500 regular people attending the service! God is so good! They are now “changing” their prayer request to God, “God, we want 500 and more!”

Such is the love of the Filipino people for the lost!! The ministry is badly hit as members have to constantly be moving around the parts of the world..and most of them cannot stay in Singapore for a prolonged period of time...They continued to reach out to so many people...even had 56 converts during their Filipino 8th Anniversary just week before last!! wow! the whole auditorium was full!


Leeveh is a very charismatic worship leader, together with his voice...wah..really can melt your heart....:P
This week’s songs are really challenging! We had a really fun time during rehearsals arguing who's in time or not in tune...shouting across the music "Hey you come in THREE times not FOUR times lah BASSSS!! Count lah Rachel! You forgot to come in the ending! WRONG intro lah!" such is the "mo qi" in a band lah...we are really comfy with each other having to put together to play for many occasions...:P What's really heartwarming is that everyone help each intrument out even though we are not really playing that instrument...giving tips and suggestions to help the music...really making the playing of the songs enjoyable. think its is not just a ministry, but rather its a passion of all of us there who are playing to be really enjoying music and what's more to be offering the service unto God...an offering of praise...:)

We are playing a total of 10 songs today…had a lot of boo boos during the two services but we really had fun especially the song with the Latino feel, “I will go” by Hillsong London…All of us were pretty stressed out by the song cos the chord changes and the beat is really fast and we have a hard time trying to keep up with the song! Wow! I think those who are playing with instruments like the strings and the keys are having sore fingers and arms now (all museos say “AMEN”!) but really felt the presence of God very strong in the services and we were encouraged when some more people gave their lives to God in the service! :)

Fenny made this comment…add up all the Adults Ministry and Family Ministry together…we have about 900 plus people…the total number of musicians we have in Adults WAM…17!! Including volunteers like me….wah..the ratio is about only 2%~!! So we NEED People! We need YOU! It does not matter whether you can play well or not….just commit to God! You can make it one….this dear sis, Sandy is really an encouragement…she picked up the guitar very fast like within 2 months she can play for CG le…so you can do it too! :)

Friday, August 19, 2005

Prayer of Blessing

Dear God,

Today is my Pay day YAY! I wanna pray a prayer of blessings for all this people whom I have become part of the family .

Lord, I will like to pray for my parents especially my father who has been working even though he's supposed to be retired. Lord may You strengthen them and keep them safe. Bring joy in their hearts that they may experience You, make their hearts open up to You so that I will be able to overcome their preceived notions they ever had of You and Lord let Your love touch them! Lord, I thank You for such sweet parents who sacrificed a lot to take care and to manage this whole household. What more can we ask for except for their salvation and joy in their lives also.

Lord, I pray for my sisters, Kerri and Jiaxin, Lord may You restore the love of Christ in my sister, Kerri's heart again, may You allow her to experience You once more and not be swallowed up by the fame and the temptation that the world has to offer. Lord, You know that we all are weak and we are fallible. Please Lord, I intercede for her that You would bring her back, help her see the goodness that can come from serving You and Your people instead of serving the world. Lord for my youngest sister, i pray that you create more and more chances for me to interest her about Christ and about Your saving Grace. Lord I pray that my life serves also as a living testimony for that she would not be stumbled by my habits and of her expectations of me...

Lord, I pray for my "Auntie" Marie, Lord Thank You for bringing such a sweet person to look after so many years of my life...she's indispensible! what can our household do without her? She has been a good support to my life and a good listener to me, all my growing up woes and pains throughout the years. May You Lord continue to strengthen her heart and her spirit as she serves in our household and keep her joyful as always. May You also look after her family members back in her home country of Phillipines and bless them with good crops and produce.

Lord, I pray for my grandma, who's yet to be saved Lord. She already been attending some dialect services Lord. I pray that You help make sense to her and not make her so skeptical as she has had a hard life. You alone can bring joy and salvation to her life and I pray that You her find meaning in her life no matter how many years that she has left. I pray for her health too that despite her having to take a lot of pills, may You strengthen her body, her legs to walk around and her heart to wanting to learn English despite her age. May she experience Your love too in the times where I can share to her and may You create chances for me to share to her.

Lord I pray for my shepherds, past, present and future? Lord, You appointed shepherds over me that I may grow in knowledge and love for You. Help me Lord to submit to them willingly and give me a heart to want to grow and listen. Lord, i know this underlying pride in my lives for thinking that I know a lot of things but in actual fact a lot of them are head knowledge and I do not put them into practice. I pray for my current shepherd, Kim now that You would strengthen our relationship and anoint her in ways that she may speak to me. help her more and more to dare to speak into my life and not to be afraid of me (hahahah). Lord help her to admonish me just like the verse in Colossians 1:28, where she would teach me well and admonishing and proclaiming the Word of Christ in my lives. Give her wisdom to handle all the situations that may come her way, help her not become affected by what people say or the things that might happen to put her down. Lord, Lord, I pray for Your mercy upon her frail body Lord! Drive out all the tiredness in her body everytime, Heal her of her gastric, her tiredness and also her throat. All these ailments really do prevent her from serving You fully Lord. I pray and intercede for her life too that she may sense Your presence more and more and be able to grow stronger in faith in You! I pray also in the point that she has written down Lord that she wants to share to her parents, especially to her father, Lord anoint her lips that she may share impactfully and plainly to them that they may understand!
Lord, You have said in Acts Lord that when we believe in the Lord, we and our household will be saved! Lord we want to claim this promise and see it come to pass! Thank you for having such a sweet sister over my life!

Lord, I pray for the leaders over in my group, Caizhu, Cryst and Guang Rong, Lord, anoint your leaders that You have placed over us Lord! strengthen them against any spiritual attacks and help them walk close to You at all times. GIve them a bigger capacity to love even in the most difficult situations, Lord You are great! You blessed them with great wisdom and kindness towards all of us in the group. Lord, i pray that we will be a good support to our leaders and in everyway humbly submit to them, and gently clarify if we are not sure in any thing. Lord give me a heart to always wanting to learn from them, learn from their lives, and give me aheart of obedience. Lord I pray also that You watch over these shepherds of Your flock that through them You will allow them and bring them many more people to come to know You Lord. The end times are near and Lord bring them to people who needs to know You Lord! Lord, i pray also at all times that the leaders will place more and more of themselves at Your feet and that You will illuminate more instead of themselves.

Lord, i will like to pray for the other members in the unit Lord,

Dennis
Poy
Sandy
June
Peiling
Mingzhu
Jiawei
ShiMing
Lyndi
Yicheng
Lawrence

Jingyu
Vincent
Shuwei
Bernard
Yuk Kuan
John
Pei Key
Li Xiong
Ruizhi
to be continued...

Yay!

Yeah...you din change slot after all!
Yay! still can serve with you le?
:) been smiling silly for two days le....silly me...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

Don't change...lah

Don't change slot lah...don't...how to tell you? It's great to be in the same team as you! Don't, its so hard to be arranged in the same team as you..must you change?
You are the few whom i am most "ar kar liao" in the team liao...if you change....hahah no one will talk to me when we are on duty liao! hahah ....sigh...dun get me wrong okie?
but its weird to know that my heart sank a bit when i heard that people call you up wanna change slot with you...farnie hor?

You are like my concert buddy, my ESS buddy, my mission buddy leh...yeah we always are in the same team together leh....buddy ol' pal....:)

Lunch with Mingzhu :)

So sweet, today Mingzhu's off from work..she came down and join me for lunch...she wanted porridge lah....so i suggested this roadside Kopitiam where i told her it would be hot...true enough....we were so roasted....that you should have seen the speed we wolved down our food!! hahah..wanna get out of the place as soon as possible...muahahah

We then went to MOS burger...where we had a much cooler time.:) shared about the baptism of water to her...realised a lot more about her family's objections too..encouraged her that a decision to water baptise is an outward proclaimation of an inward conviction. Knowing that she's much bothered by the comments that they have shared..to stay strong and read 2Cor. 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you", says the Lord. "My power is made perfect in weakness." This is so true you know...sometimes we do not need anything fancy or great..we just need God, we just need this simple faith, we do not need great relevations or signs and wonders to prove that He is there..somewhere deep down in our hearts, we know that God is there watching us. She was really great and listened and even asked questions about why people wanna water baptise...knowing that one fine day her parents will respect her decision in the near future...:) not this time to baptise...next time bah..

I am really encouraged by this friend and sister that I have grown to love a lot dunno what to do without her lah..heheheh..What she is going through also reminded me of the time when i decided to commit to Jesus by water baptism...how my father flared up at me! My mum made this funny comment that she allows me to marry only when i am about to get married to a Christian!! hahah she forever scared that i can't get hitched...:P well...my life after I have commited to Jesus is certainly not easy..in fact He tested me so much that I nearly lost faith!

haha...to list down a bit of my life, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years whom i nearly got married to, lost a lot of weight until i nearly anorexic, all these happened right after i decided to water baptise in God! I failed one year plus of studies in NTU, as a result graduating two years later than the rest...This is really a fulfilling of my prayer to God that Lord whatever happenns, I wanna leave this life of sin, knowing that I am continuing hurting you Lord by being with this person, i submit..and how tough it was! hahah...

God chose to use me even despite all these i am facing, time and time again He lifted me up, i was made to talk to people at certain times and saying words of prophecy to people that had helped them,I sensed great joy in sharing Christ to other people, I was made His shepherd,taking care of 3 people at one time, made Core Team in my old ministry, blessed me with musical gifts that I din know that I had when i was with that guy, my boyfren din like me to sing or play musical instruments cos he did not enjoy music....you see love is really REALLY BLIND. How do i know i have the gifts? One fine day, I took up a pen,that was years after i broke up... and the musical notes just came, i took up my violin, Anthony and the notes just flowed into my head...I wrote and wrote and played..wow! this is amazing...its like singing in a new song from Psalm 96:6..God blessed me all the gifts when i started to release more of my rights and allow Him to touch me...I am terribly grateful to God....no words can express this gratefulness to God...i stumble and fall many times and there were times i wanted to give up and run away..God pulled me back up...

Mingzhu, Jesus had said, "In this world you would have trouble and persecution, but TAKE HEART, I have overcome the world!" Believe that all this that is happening will strengthen us in the Lord as we learnt to slowly untie all the knots that we hold on to..let Him do it...He can and certainly will...:)

Pain!

okie..this is bad...i have been dizzy and having headaches for the past two days le...thank God today no pain....is it me? or that I have been staring at the screen for too long? on Monday, the headache was excruciating.....it was so bad that i cannot think or talk properly....slept through my lunch hour at my desk...kept thinking to myself..should I go home?
take urgent leave? kept praying to God...in Jesus name heal me~! the pain was gone by the time i attend Word for Life classes..:)

on Tuesday, i am having dizzy spells....terrible....the program playing tricks with me lah...i started running the tool from 2pm..it did not stop until 640pm!! oh gosh! wanted to meet Jeannie they all to help the NTU/NUS ppl wear the sari costume at Nexus...there was a health talk by the company also..fell asleep...too dizzy.....zzzzzzzzzzzz

finally got home and played on Anthony....man violin lessons are really expensive..spoke to my would-be pianist i have to fork out 60 bucks per hour for hiring her! bo pian...you wanna pursue passion is like that...my practical exams are barely one month away..no time to lose liao...if i book the exam studio to practise another 30-40 bucks per session gone...wah...
No time to lose..practice, practice, pause, play, listen, practice, practice....

Monday, August 15, 2005

My birthday sms-es and well wishers hehee..

Some heartwarming sms-es…:)

As I have said in my last blog that this posting is a special one for all the friends who have sms-ed me and who really made my day :)

The sweet people are:

Ruizhi and Lawrence who sms-ed me way before midnight on 8th August.

John Tan my Lao-ge from Catholic JC, miss ya! You are always remembered!

Cheng Jie my buddy old pal from NTU days…yeah cute sms, 14 years younger than grand old dame Singapore? Hahah you are nearer the age gap!! you never fail to swoon me with you lovely voice! Thank God for you using your gifts to serve Him in the WAM team too!

Spencer at the stroke of midnight too, thanks for your song!

Jeremy and How Joo for you two singing birthday song for me so sweet..din expect that from both of ya!

Sharon, Liyi, Chukai and Guoqiang and Hoe Ping for offering me thanks from Singtel, Starhub and M1 and yes Chukai your “Marie Body France” package!! Thanks ah…hey do they do anti-aging too? I could use that man!

Peishan, at 430 am!! I was quite excited and din really sleep yet..muhahah

Guess who? Wilson at 4.34am!! you dun sleep do you? I am truly amazed!

Our dear Caizhu at 7.34am.. really stressed for that moment cos I thought I was late at for work! Not really used to having public holiday during a week day..my bio clock not adjusted yet..thanks Caizhu for being so sweet! It sure is my BIG day! Thanks for always sending me back, rain or shine, until one fine day you were really sick, remember you losing your voice? You and Wilson combined power no one can beat the “stubbornness” from you two! (Wilson dun kill me :P) You display the firmness in your faith that only from one who have truly experienced the truth and love and uplifting Grace of God!
Thanks for being such a sacrificial leader and a humble woman who serves as an example to all of us of the simple obedience to God’s Word ..:)

Mingzhu and my buddy, Ziwei also from good old NTU days, our lecture “kaki” who would always study with us even in kopi breaks!!
Hee…buddy hang on man! You can make it one!

My Hall 1 bestest buddy and companion, Smita, you helped me through the darkest moments in NTU even throughout the saddest moments in school..you were there through heartaches, failures and hahah remember all our crazy little fashion shows and madness in the hostel room! That year as your toilet mate is the bestest! It will be etched in my memories for years to come…:)

Thanks Pang How, praying for a breakthrough in your life this year.

My dear sis Joel Oon, you were my usher team leader for a year plus before you were whipped off for higher calling ! hahah..totally enjoyed all the times we were serving in the same ministry, even when you moved to NTU for the last year to study in NIE, those late night suppers were great! You are such a great cook!! Love your soups and desserts, you are a total woman! Proverbs 31!! Your life is truly inspirational and encouraging to me, thanks for always being so sweet and dedicated! Your love and concern is a constant strength to me!

Yeah Yong Han, never fail to amaze me. One moment you are suaning me, one moment you are nice to me, know you for a good 5 years plus liao!! Another CEE Kopi buddy I shall complain to Rei if you continue like that :P be nice okay? Hahah…

My dear Primary school friend Yuemei, lemme count 19 years!! Yeah its that long! Wow! Our friendship has dated since 1986!! Despite having been through different schools, you leaving for Aussie to study for 5 years, we are still in contact with each other so many years! Thank God for this chance to know you in my life. Praying that He will touch your heart and you will be able to experience the love of God that I have!

Dearest Sis Sheralyn,
The most youthful sis I have ever know! You really resemble my sis in many ways and look like her too! Hence can really relate to you despite our many years apart…aiyah okie lah I act young to relate to younger people…heheh nah , you are a constant joy to me, thank God for you coming back, I know you would! You are always welcome in our family, thank God for you bringing you back through the months of struggling and doubt.
I really miss you all these months, I really do! Our God is faithful, spreading His love to a thousand generations to those who love him and keep his commands!!

Dear Yaping..another CEE fren, Another of our Kopi and tutorial buddies…heheh thanks ger for being very inspiring for us to work harder and harder!! Hahah

Dear brother Long Yew, for always the gentleman of the lot! You are sensitive, helping us to carry things always even though I sometimes think that your body cannot take it but you still look after all of us…helping us book tutorial room for the exams, helping us boil water, cook soup, hahah always sending me back hall even though I studied till late at night!! Remember the time when you stayed up with me to study Foundation Engineering 5am!! even though you were very tired yourself and the exams starts at 9am!
No words can express my gratitude for your patience also in helping me with my school work and explaining it so clearly! :) thank God for you brother!

Waiming, my fellow Banquet Waitress kaki in Raffles Hotel:) remember how we used to have all the free leftover crusine from the hotel? Muahahaha its such a waste to throw all the food away unfinished and untouched somemore…:) all the mushrooms lah, abalone lah, all the good western food lah...hahaha those two years were the most enjoyable and eye-catching of my life!! We have met celebrities together, watched the rich and famous dance ballroom dancing, chatted all the spooky stories of Raffles Hotel, had a good relationship with the working staff, the stewarding aunties and uncles, the banquet managers and the chefs remember? We always ask them to “dabao” the fries or what’s left hehehehe :) cheers to you fren!!

Small Rachel!! Life in NTU has nebber been the same again, with you coming to join us in 2003, we saw more and more “Rachel”s in the NTU Ministry, together we were “THAM WAN TAN” (wanton noodles) thanks to Tony who gave us the moniker…:P hmm..i always tell people that you are the REAL description of the name “Rachel” “sweet, docile and gentle lamb”!! Thanks dear!

Jacqueline! Its been 3 years! Knew you since year 1 and you have since grad! Will always rem the few times we met the most memorable being in Fong seng’s at NUS there..where we shared about Christ to you for two hours over prata!! Hahah..pray that God will continue to touch your heart always!

Lyndi, thanks for you really sweet picture message, hope to see you join us soon and you will not be too bogged down by work!!

Doris, my first sheep, although you have left NTU to study in SIM, pray that your heart will be softened for God and may you join in the fellowship more often! Thanks for always opening up your house for us to let us have gatherings in the past! :) love your cooking too!

Chee Ping, Thanks for your sweet sms! Hhaahh Friendster is one day late lah!!

SKY, Seow Kheng Yong! Whatever happened to you man? Disappeared again for a good 8 months , remembered when you were working at FILAS I looked in the outlets to always find you!! Hahah thanks for all those discounts and stuff for buying from FILAS..hahah me a super cheapo!
Working with you in NTU Hall one is the most fun, all the suaning, all the silly things that we talked about, you the “ger-guy” you cook, wash, do laundry, clean the room, you SEW!! your skills are sooooooo superb putting me to shame! Hahah thank God for you in my life! Hope that God will touch your heart too!

My ex-sheep Limin, Khoo Li Mian!! Hahah so sweet of you to remember, really dun need anything..just want you to grow! Hahahah…always love and remember the days when we were shepherd and sheep, all the laughter, tears, scoldings and shopping trips…you really moulded me in Christ! Hahah :)Grow lah! heheh

Yeah Ah Seng, David Chua, you owe me TWO big ones already! Hahah you always last MINUTE lah brother! Me not that “shen2” you know in my violin skills? Muahahaha , thank you for letting me a chance to play for the Youth congregation and letting me interact with the young people again hhaha makes me feel even younger!! You also display great humility and love for your people..you are good you know it but you dun brag about it…:) Thank God for your shepherding heart! May He bless you more in this ministry!

Friday, August 12, 2005

My 26th Birthday!!

Tuesday 9th August 2005

Only then did I realize how blessed and how loved I am…I laugh at my insecure self really all the time…Had a tiring night, came back from a refreshing Word for life class whereby we were taught on how to pray powerfully for Jesus..yeppps you got it…I attended the “Powerful Praying Church” with Shi Ming.

Yean Shean our instructor had really inspired us on the closeness in the relationship with God tat we can get and how He could get to know us so well that He would speak to us so specifically and clearly.
I was really inspired to know God in this manner and really wanna strive to hear Him speak all the time..

One thing that spoke to me very clearly…we can be so spiritual doing spiritual things, that we serve fervently, we share to people fervently…we so tempted to only ask God only when we really need it…this is like another wake up call from God! Unknowing we are like becoming a “Deist” who believe that God only choose to interfere whenever He wants…He might not be interested in handling our lives..In other words, we are grown so used to doing spiritual things and going on in our lives that we think that God would not be interested in every single thing we do…we dun pray, we only cling on to Him for help when there was a crisis.…I was shocked to discover all the similarities that Yean Shean had shared.

Many times and days of the week.. I would start off the week with just praying to God on my requests…chatting like a non-stop recorder to God my requests and my feelings…how long have I sat aside for God to speak to me? These things take time I realize, but then if I dun try where is the relationship with God that we proclaim to the people around us?

I wanted to re-establish this relationship with God that I can have, to really listen to Him and wait for Him to speak to us..wanna go back and immediately talk to God properly..

Early in the day..Spencer had messaged me to keep my phone on during midnight..he wanted to lemme hear a song that he had written..

At midnight pronto,
I received a lot of calls and SMS…the very first being from sweet old Cheng Jie! He shares the same birthday month as me every year we would celebrate together without fail. Hahah my fellow Jay Chou enthusiast!!
Spencer called shortly later on and sang a song for me that he had promised…very muffled lah..i could only catch “Jesus Loves you”! good enough…
Then How Joo and Jeremy rang up and sang birthday song for me….in fact a lot of them were at the Fireworks Fest. They were releasing fireworks at midnight!
So sweet of them!!
Yeah I gonna list down the names of the people who had sms me…really touched to know that actually so many frens had remembered my birthday…

Chukai, Sharon and Liyi called me to made fun of me stating that they were from “Marie France Bodyline” and wanting to offer me a package!!! :P

It’s amazing all over MSN…people were messaging me happy birthday, my “daughter” and “son” from youth WAM, Veron and Jon, Jon being so sweet…added me to their youth WAM conversation and sang (typed) a birthday song for me!!*melt* *melt* I want a son like that!! Haha Wendy the drummer,
All the other MSN pple really sweet..

My mum ran out of the room…she sashayed and hugged me…passing me a letter and ang pow..only to be grabbed away by my two sisters who did a little dance in front of me..saying that the letter is to be secret until the morning!!
Hahaha..

Guess what pleasant surprise that they had prepared for me?
My second sis Kerri had went for many gigs for the past few months to raise money for a new guitar for me!!! Man I was sooo touched!! I named it “Adrienne” my “daughter” ….muahah “Anthony” (violin) my “lao gong” mah so the names are all “As”..this is really so thoughtful of them! I won’t have to always lug my sister’s guitar to play for Church always….the present being a combined effort from my two sisters, Kerri and Jiaxin and my Auntie (maid) Marie.

I had sprang up at 720 am thinking that oppps! I am super late for work!! Hahah aiyoh today holiday lah…could not get back to sleep liao…just too used to waking up earlier than tat time!

The morning was spent in a mad rush to clean up my room…cos my uncle was bring my cousins over for lunch..really threw out a lot of junk!! Muahaha…dunno whether to throw away my notes or not…wanted still have the dream of pursuing my engineer dream…

My mum and auntie whipped up a fantastic lunch of crabs and we had sooo much to eat!! Really glad :) the day was spend with much replying to sms-es…
Yuemei my primary school fren was so sick that she’s bed ridden!! :( could not join us for the cooking session at Caizhu’s place!!

Totally enjoy cooking…used to remember the times at the hostel in NTU where we would always cook tog for meals..sort of learnt how to be independent there and then!! Totally messed up the kitchen at Caizhu’s place…made all the guys strip potatoes and carrots! Its so farnie!! Poy was really the sport…he cleaned, he cut, he washed, he scrubbed the sink and all that again..could you imagine? He and Cryst had just alighted from the flight from Bangkok at 2pm!! There they are at the house at 430pm..i was really touched!! Poy even gave me perfume..i was really paisei cos I din expect expensive gifts from anyone…

Almost everyone was there..it was really great to see so many people coming together even the people from the other unit..Hendry, Shuwei, Vincent, Bernard, Cryst, Lisiong and Ruizhi.

Sandy had two foreigner frens..Jody and Johan, they were really interesting and I had a wonderful time talking to them and finding out about their cultures and work…

Yesh the part came where they would enjoy the most..spraying me with all the aerosol cans of streamers!!!

It was beautiful..i din know that people would share all those things around me tat was so touching…especially the one from Mingzhu..i teared wah…

These are roughly all the accounts that I can remember…wanna write it down so that in time to come when I refer to this…it will be really sweet and serve as another spot check on my life also..

Mingzhu shared about me being a fren that is rare and everything that we shared as friends really “lost in moment” we do have to shared much.

Kim shared about me being a joy-giver and being a great support to her.(please comment more haha..)

Cryst shared about me being a volunteer and about me helping her out.

Dennis shared about serving together as usher team together and me being faithful in serving not complaining ( hahah I muttered underneath my breath “Yet”) :P

Sandy shared about me being sensitive and Joyful.. (correct me dear…)

Lee also shared about my talents and how I was not proud of it? Hhahha well... She also shared about me like to make myself the subject of jokes and okie about it…

Yicheng shared about knowing me from NTU times and working together those period till now….how I had a super loud voice..and how I had shared about encouraging him from the Word of God.

Shi Ming and me really had tough times working together during my IA. He noticed changes in my life..how I was not sososo “hyper” anymore…to me that was really sincere and it blessed my heart already even though initially he did not seem to share anything “nice” haha only after much persuasion did he share!!

Poy shared about me being sensitive and seeming to know what he was thinking even before he told me during that faithful shopping trip hahah..

Caizhu shared about me having the treasure of the Word of God within me and that one thing I can grow again is to be vulnerable towards God…relearning everything that God has taught me or what I have already known..discovering new truths about Him day by day..:)

Wanna list down all the people who had sms me….so many lives has brushed by me all these years..being so busy all these while ..it really took an sms to remind me that they are still around..terrible me right? :P check out next blog…:P




8th August 2005 - Monday

Just a normal day at work….actualli was sort of looking forward to this Monday…rare eh? The Monday blues are gone!
Hahah it was a refreshing time at church yesterday…just so psyched me out for the week..
When Ps Dinah Lee shared about “Faith That Rocks the Boat”, I was personally touched and nearly cried out at all the testimonies shared especially on the last testimony whereby there was a couple who was out to pioneer a church at the US, the couple’s ministry house has burnt down and was left with very few things…God blessed them by growing the church and given them people to help develop the church. This is really God looking out for His children even though in the most adverse situations!

I was personally inspired again by CN’s testimony also when Ps Dinah shared about his determination to give more to God. He had planned out his finances on an Excel spreadsheet for the next 21 months..he actually realized that he could give more to God! I could really identify with him cos when I was in NTU,
I had a hard time controlling my finances…being a “hard-core” shopper, I would always scoot off to buy stuff….clothes lah, CDs lah..the worst was CDs..i would always invest in CDs and music books if I know that they are good..you people reading this…ask me to show you my wallet…all the discount cards inside!!
My shepherd then, Jeannie had asked me write down EVERY SINGLE thing that I spent on for the day…

I remember I had a really complaining spirit then…cos it’s such a hassle to jot down every single cent that you spent! I had a small notebook with me that I would carry it around and write down example of a day’s entry would be like this:-

Coffee= 4 x $0.35
Transport= $1.80 x 2 (MRT) and $1.20 (Bus)
Food = (Lunch) $2.00
Notes= $0.60 (Geotechnical Engineering)

I would really scrimp and save such that my entries at the end of the week would not look too horrible…hahah

But this tool has really helped me…now I have knowledge of where my money went and how much money there is in my account.
I used to go through the month by spending money like water…hahah..

So then, I have been keeping an Excel file with all my expenses now since my first pay at DHL…really wanna give more to God!
I even downloaded the budgeting tool from the Hope website and its cool I tell you…you could plan everything inside and you would realize that you have more money at hand than you can imagine.. you could also note that you may have spending more at certain items or aspect for the month! I think the church has really blessed us with great tools to disciple us and to make us grow!! :D

I am determined to keep and manage my finances well…so if you see me eating “grass” hahah you know what’s going on eh?

I responded to the sermon…went down to the altar and asked Guang Rong to pray for me in two areas : regarding my finances and stewardship and my tendency to have negative thoughts…let’s look onwards to growing more in faith!
Hehe :)

FESTIVAL OF PRAISE!!!

Sunday 7th August 2005

FESTIVAL OF PRAISE!

This has to be my first time at the FOP! Really excited…wanted to go on Friday with CN and Mingzhu but…..sad to say we were the cut off part in the queue..awwwwwwww…L Mingzhu was rather disappointed..me too! Cos from where we were queueing, we could hear the music starting…me made a joke telling Mingzhu..let me sing for you lah we saw many younger people beating the security and slipped in through the loading and unloading entrance!!…in the end the Friday night was spent at Marina Square where we had desserts..we are famished…had Bread talk during the queue..

Okie straight after service, me was very enc to know that Listia, Lisiong and Hendry wanna go the the FOP too…met Spencer..he messaged me where he was and went as early as 4pm to queue! I went with Listia and Lisiong to join him in the queue…we had to squeeze up bus 16..i din even manage to tap my card!! The crowd is terrible I tell you…we totally filled up the taxi stand and the covered bridge at the Singapore Indoor Stadium and it was only one entrance!!..you should have been there to see the crowds!! The organizers must be pretty amused cos I spotted an “ang moh” walking around with a camera to film the crowds!!

Hhahah the heat is blistering.…we all sat down at the floor and Hendry was really sweet to buy for us sandwiches and drinks…haahahah finally the doors open at 6pm and there was a mad rush to stand up and go into the Indoor stadium it was hot and packed and we are literally shoulder to shoulder with the person next to us…being the tallest there…they asked me if the air was fresher from where I was standing…I told them plainly…”I smell CHICKEN RICE”. No, not that someone was carrying the food around its just that…I smell hot and sweaty bodies! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeyewwwwwww..

Really glad to finally go into the auditorium…the effort was really worth it..We started with prayer and all of us were pretty excited when we spotted out church’s name “Hope Church Singapore” in the FOP booklet. We are part of the organizing 120 churches for this event which combines Hillsongs and Delirious?

Yeah after prayer, Darlene Zchech came in with a song from the new United Album..was really great to see more than 20,000 worshippers together in one place praising and worshipping God! Revelations 4:4 “ I see multitudes worshipping the Lamb!”

I personally was really touched by the worship and teared some more…it’s amazing..how a new song can also minister to us when we allow the Holy Spirit to minister to us..Delirious the renowned Christian rock band from the UK came in with praise “Did you feel the Mountains Tremble?” the atmosphere peaked to a high…the band from Delirious was better..the guitars were very loud and its was macham a rock concert…the lead singer Martin Smith had a very clear and loud voice that really rang out throughout the stadium..”Paint the town red with the blood of the Lamb” had all of us joining hands in the air and jumping together..we even spotted babies and young children in the crowd! Parents carrying babies were swaying with the music with their young children!

There were also times set aside for prayers and sermon, there were prayers for the government and rulers and authorities.
When Darlene made the altar call for non believers to accept Christ…it was a touching scene when at least hundreds stream down from their seats and dedicated their lives to God for the first time. The crowd was overwhelming and they filled up the front part of the stage. Darlene led them with prayer with tear-stained face.and there were many who teared too…its really a beautiful scene for God! I was personally very touched..Really hoped that my family and friends were there to see it…

Then Delirious came on again with my one of my favourites “History Maker” and then after that the whole worship extended to 11pm as it was the last night of the Festival of Praise it ended with Martin Smith singing in darkness with a candle lit, “There’s a light in the darkness, His name is Jesus..”…our group who went there really felt refreshed despite not having dinner…

We went back tired but happy that we made it to Festival of Praise..Delirious Rocks!!!!

“There’s a light in the darkness, His name is Jesus….”

Friday, August 05, 2005

Tribute to a dear teacher..


Dear all,

I would like to pay my tribute to this dear teacher of mine Prof Stephen Tay Tiong Lee, My final year project supervisor who died this year on the 29th July 2005.

Dec 2003
Time to choose my FYP

The moment I saw your name and the name of the project "Membrane Fouling in Bioreactors"
My heart was stirred- I want to do this project! this is like my dream coming true. All through my final semesters, God has blessed me and paved my way so that I can take all the Environmental Engineering modules and pass them well..this is it God, I am going for it.

Jan 2004
My first meet up with the PhD student and you..

I have to confess..I have not met such a gentle lecturer like you....your room is so lovely...yeah admist the mess, i could sense the love that surrounds you and your family....the drawing drawn for you by your youngest of 4 daughters Megan " I love Daddy." your pictures and their positions in the room really still struck a deep chord in me...you laid down the perpectives of this project and how you expect me to perform..

Jan 2004-June 2004
Project work and meddling with WASTE literally...

There were the many times...i have to check with you so many times...the aspects of the project and all that encompasses it...I was so inspired! Really grew to be so interested in what i was doing that I told God that "Lord I want to do this project well for you.."

Amidst the long June holidays..i piahed my project...could you remember too the massive blackout back in May then? ALL our samples in the wastewater reactors ..hahah literally went haywired and all the bacteria died! You are a stringent and meticulous teacher...you went through all the steps again and made sure that I understood what I went through..

June holidays were the worst...I was suffering from a massive cough for three months plus already through from handling the wastewater samples...then it developed into Bronchitis..i told you sir...I cannot continue anymore..one thing was my health ..the other was due to my exams and my failing grades..i really need to grad!! But you were patient..you let me off and finish my project at that time!

SO many times i came to bug you on the report...you taught me slowly and patiently the importance of writing my data and report well and of course...i would never forget the REFERENCING!

the last few weeks prior to my submission i knew that i would hardly see you again...i told myself...Life is not just about getting your work done..its about relationships with people...I also dun wanna let this time pass me by like that without me getting to know you as a dear teacher better..
I spend many hours talking to you...know that you are a believer and you love your children very much...look at all the lovely pictures you took....Pictures when you were in Boston..I especially loved the one where your wife carried Megan and played with the autumn leaves...they were lovely!

You taught me how to use filter and stated that NIKON cameras are the best! haha...I shared excitedly too and asked you how to take betta pictures cos my daddy was a pro photographer too hehe..
I believe too that the pains taken in producing a good picture is definitely worth it....the effect just stays with you...

Dec 2004
The submission and the presentation

Come on..face it Rachel...i think you really helped me in the review of the project..i din write that well and most of the answers that you posted were too cheem! how to answer?
hah but you slowly guided me and even answered the questions for me!
I got a B for my project...but no not upset...the impact has already been made...I want to be an Environmental Engineer!

Jan 2005
"Are you happy with your grade?"

I know many people who are reading this are going go the next time they see me..."snap out of it Rachel!!" I can't help it....how do you ever forget someone who impacted on your life so much?
I can remember your gentle voices and you asking this question..you really caught me at a time when i dun wanna see you again...i had failed two subjects and had to repeat yet another sem..this is like the "dark ages" for me....

But me being so bitter then did not appreciate how much you had helped me to score in my project...this then i truly regret and am sorry...

July 2005
The last time i ever see your face..

this is uncanny...its barely two weeks ago that I took a picture with you and Prof Liu Yu ,
its barely two weeks that I talked to you as I walked all the way back to your office and I to the carpark where my parents were waiting...

You had retreated quietly as you always were with Prof Chew...it was at your wake when we recounted this incident of me...walking behind you two and you turning around to talk to me...
"So you are at DHL...what do you do with numbers?"


I chatted happily with you all the way as you retreat back to your office...as always to your quiet world and to your passion for your work...you never really shared about yourself and your stress...but its your passion and focus on your work that made you strive so hard...

Come to think of it...its really bitter sweet....these are all mental pictures which are going to be etched in my mind for a long time..in fact i think as long as i think...

When i got the news on early Sunday morning at 130 am i was devastated...
my heart broke....how to play for God on Sunday? That sunday was the wake..

It was then i amassed amazing grace through God alone...my emotions are nearly torn apart but God you pulled me through and let me touch the people of the congregation...i saw one unbeliever and i prayed that my playing will touch her heart..and she was saved..

Your wake is the most heart wrenching of all at St Joseph's Church...one by one your family and friends all shared about how much you have touched their lives and your love for football and phototaking...Your love for God has also spurred you to serve fervently in the church...

i saw many faces....you are greatly missed...even my teachers cried their hearts out...
my former dean said "Never underestimate what seems to be okay from the surface."

Your teachings...your quietness and your passion for God and love for your children and wife are definitely things that i would take with me even as I leave NTU....in your quietness you have spurred me...i will hang on!!

tears are mostly dried up now...it really makes me realise how volatile Life is...how you can talk to this person for one moment and the next day he's gone...

remember what Ps Ben had shared something like this before..."Our life is played out in moments.."
How each one of us is going to capitalise on these moments is how we choose to live our lives right, every moment, every speech, every thought...

This has made me be slightly more appreciative of the people around me..my family and friends...need to pray harder for their salvation and to really sense God's love...

going to give myself a hug now....thank You Lord that a man dearly loved is in Your hands now...:)

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Blessing from God again!

hahah just reached office i blog liao..:) Wow the last few days are really difficult for me especially Monday when i struggled from bursting out in tears.. everytime..will elaborate more..

Today God is so sweet! Remember I always complain about my eyes very tired from staring at the screen for too long?

Being a new staff, my comp and my equipment is rather old..:P and the screen is always flickering..causing a big strain on my eyes.. As I came to work today, I saw a brand new computer monitor on my desk complete with the protective shield!

My boss whom i shared over the CG, (how i struggled to work under her) had informed the IT staff to change the screen for me as I left yesterday!!
Imagine how touched I was! Really changed my perspective of my boss now...also made me realise new and better things of my boss, learning to look beyond what things may actually seem to be...:)

Felt so loved by God again think that He knows my requests even though I did not pray over this aspect of my tired eyes! really the verse comes out very strongly and clearly again...

"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Psalm 37:4

It's a simple and short verse but the truth and beauty of it all comes out in an overflowing manner...completely exhibiting God's love to all of us..

May you have a blessed day at work too!

Monday, August 01, 2005

Vision from swollen eyes...

(____ ____)**"" (<=Rachel's eyes today)
_______

Walking by faith literally and not by sight LITERALLY

The Day my heart broke....:(

speechless......vision blurred...