Flew back Singapore from beautiful Lijiang on the 3rd Dec. ... and from then on its a mad whirl of activities! Shen Teng and Peiru's wedding, Christmas, Hong Kong and Teck Keong and Siew Yee's Wedding...etc..But I dun wanna end off this year without thanking God once again for the marvellous work done during the missions trip.
I think really God changed me a lot during this dream...
Just as I thought...
Just as I thought of having fun and shop all I can in Singapore...
God helped me to see how the little I had could touch so many hearts in Lijiang, China...
Just as I thought of running my own show and wanting everything to be smooth flowing...
God intervened and created a masterpiece - joy in the children's hearts more than I could ever imagine...
Just as I thought I could avoid of God's most marvellous plans for me,
God came in to show me His well-thought out plans for me, lovingly crafted for me.
Just as I thought I could "escape" from what God has called me to do,
Missions bell came a ringing and stirred up my heart to something more for Jesus...
Just as I thought I could hang on stubbornly to my own ideals and thinking,
God thought me surrender and lovingly asked me to release my hands full of my own treasures so that He could fill me with inmeasureably more than I could ever hope or imagine.
I think I would never be the same again... God You have touched me, made me fall all over, deeper in love with You and Your plans for me...
Thank God for a wonderful year 2007! :)
Saturday, December 29, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
Missions Trip To LiJiang - Part 3
5th and 6th Day - 29th and 30th Nov 2007
The 5th day was really spent just preparing for the party for the orphanage children. Balloons and more balloons were put up...me down with fever again and had to stop to rest...the whole world starts banging onto my head again. Took a few shots of the people...in a total daze...:P Some of the kids were so facinated with Carol's CD and MP3 player that they played and replayed the tracks on the players that they could actually sing and hum to the tunes that we were going to teach!
We order a close to 200 plus cupcakes with candles for the children and they were really enjoying themselves eating the cake. Sad to say for many of the children, they do not even know when their birthdays are. The mass "birthday celebration" really touched our hearts and the kids were once again packed with lots of goodies from ourside, sweet, chocolates and stuff.
There was a prize presentation too where we blessed Hu mama, the teachers and the Principal with all the gifts that we had bought to thank them for the hospitality that they had extended in the school. We also managed to sing 4 chinese and English Praise and worship songs to the kids! A big bold step for God! :P A bit of sadness overwhelmed me today cos I know that the missions trip is coming to an end....but wait...ever seen snow on the mountains? Start drooling at the following pics...am devoting a majority or this posting for the climb up Lijiang's Yu Long Snow Mountain....
IT's FINALLY R AND R DAY!!!
View of the snow mountain from ground level
The girls all ready in their climbing wear at the base station
Cable car starts to travel above the clouds!
Look how far we had to climb! It may seem short to you but we took 4 hours!
Never had so much fun for a mighty long time. Woke up bright and early at 5 plus am where it was so dark and cold to have our breakfast. We set off at 745am to the Snow Mountain. In the end, all Hope people signed up the climb! There was this joke though, the people who were supposed to lead the morning's devotion and praise and worship were all in the team of climbers!! Me and Daniel led the whole van of people into worship and GR and Siew Khim blast Praise and Worship MP3 off their phones. It was fun and rather hilarious. No one's left behind to lead the rest of the mission team!
Arrive at base station where we all armed ourselves with oxygen tanks at 35 yuan each. We were initially reluctant to buy cos we saw all the locals all very garang without the tanks.We had to take a bus up to 3500m halfway up the hill where we had to queue another one plus hour just to take the cable car up the snow mountain.
The scenery was really breathtaking and you really have to be there yourself to experience it.
My nose is definitely not helping in the trip, I was still running a fever mind you. My stubborness at work again and I really struggled and felt very faint throughout the climb. But when I saw the place looking like Hokkaido in some winter wonderland, I was determined not to let anything stop me from the climb. The guys really took good care of me during this trip. Daniel helped me carry my haversack up the mountain, and whenever I stopped to rest, GR would rush to give me the oxygen and made sure that I do not faint. hahahaha...I think I must be turning purple!!!
There were many fun shots taken along the way and really the winds were very strong and cutting on our faces so you see us all attempting to cover our faces up.
The locals were really very garang, some even trudged up easily with the oxygen tanks but you would see us every so often whip out that aerosol can and start breathing from it. Remember once reading about altitude sickness and how to avoid it is to stop strenuous exercises and really walk slowly and carefully. We could or at least me could feel my head in a whirl a lot of times. It's not as easy as it seems although the roads were paved with bridges and stairs, there were many dried ice in the boards.
Finally reached the peak at 4680m after 3-4 hours climb. We did not even feel the cold at all. Downhill was pretty much easier and poor Hong Ping who was waiting for us was so worried at why were stuck up the mountains for so long. We then hopped along the bus to the other attraction at the mountains, the Blue Moon Valley and the White Water River - loosely translated hahah...Mission Trips are not without their own kind of fun! :P Watch this space for the pics !:P
Me and Carol having fun having snow fights with the rest!
The Titus Watch commercial pic - thanks to Carol who took us from another angle! haha
At some paths down the paths, we slid down the snow on our butts!
The team reached the peak! 4680m!
Having fun in the snow
The 5th day was really spent just preparing for the party for the orphanage children. Balloons and more balloons were put up...me down with fever again and had to stop to rest...the whole world starts banging onto my head again. Took a few shots of the people...in a total daze...:P Some of the kids were so facinated with Carol's CD and MP3 player that they played and replayed the tracks on the players that they could actually sing and hum to the tunes that we were going to teach!
We order a close to 200 plus cupcakes with candles for the children and they were really enjoying themselves eating the cake. Sad to say for many of the children, they do not even know when their birthdays are. The mass "birthday celebration" really touched our hearts and the kids were once again packed with lots of goodies from ourside, sweet, chocolates and stuff.
There was a prize presentation too where we blessed Hu mama, the teachers and the Principal with all the gifts that we had bought to thank them for the hospitality that they had extended in the school. We also managed to sing 4 chinese and English Praise and worship songs to the kids! A big bold step for God! :P A bit of sadness overwhelmed me today cos I know that the missions trip is coming to an end....but wait...ever seen snow on the mountains? Start drooling at the following pics...am devoting a majority or this posting for the climb up Lijiang's Yu Long Snow Mountain....
IT's FINALLY R AND R DAY!!!
View of the snow mountain from ground level
The girls all ready in their climbing wear at the base station
Cable car starts to travel above the clouds!
Look how far we had to climb! It may seem short to you but we took 4 hours!
Never had so much fun for a mighty long time. Woke up bright and early at 5 plus am where it was so dark and cold to have our breakfast. We set off at 745am to the Snow Mountain. In the end, all Hope people signed up the climb! There was this joke though, the people who were supposed to lead the morning's devotion and praise and worship were all in the team of climbers!! Me and Daniel led the whole van of people into worship and GR and Siew Khim blast Praise and Worship MP3 off their phones. It was fun and rather hilarious. No one's left behind to lead the rest of the mission team!
Arrive at base station where we all armed ourselves with oxygen tanks at 35 yuan each. We were initially reluctant to buy cos we saw all the locals all very garang without the tanks.We had to take a bus up to 3500m halfway up the hill where we had to queue another one plus hour just to take the cable car up the snow mountain.
The scenery was really breathtaking and you really have to be there yourself to experience it.
My nose is definitely not helping in the trip, I was still running a fever mind you. My stubborness at work again and I really struggled and felt very faint throughout the climb. But when I saw the place looking like Hokkaido in some winter wonderland, I was determined not to let anything stop me from the climb. The guys really took good care of me during this trip. Daniel helped me carry my haversack up the mountain, and whenever I stopped to rest, GR would rush to give me the oxygen and made sure that I do not faint. hahahaha...I think I must be turning purple!!!
There were many fun shots taken along the way and really the winds were very strong and cutting on our faces so you see us all attempting to cover our faces up.
The locals were really very garang, some even trudged up easily with the oxygen tanks but you would see us every so often whip out that aerosol can and start breathing from it. Remember once reading about altitude sickness and how to avoid it is to stop strenuous exercises and really walk slowly and carefully. We could or at least me could feel my head in a whirl a lot of times. It's not as easy as it seems although the roads were paved with bridges and stairs, there were many dried ice in the boards.
Finally reached the peak at 4680m after 3-4 hours climb. We did not even feel the cold at all. Downhill was pretty much easier and poor Hong Ping who was waiting for us was so worried at why were stuck up the mountains for so long. We then hopped along the bus to the other attraction at the mountains, the Blue Moon Valley and the White Water River - loosely translated hahah...Mission Trips are not without their own kind of fun! :P Watch this space for the pics !:P
Me and Carol having fun having snow fights with the rest!
The Titus Watch commercial pic - thanks to Carol who took us from another angle! haha
At some paths down the paths, we slid down the snow on our butts!
The team reached the peak! 4680m!
Having fun in the snow
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Missions Trip To LiJiang - continued
Fourth Day 26th Nov 2007 - Monday
I woke up today and felt as if the world took 30 seconds to spin from one point to another. My head hurts and my whole perspective was in a whirl. I was supposed to lead the morning devotions and being the only guitarist around, play two roles at the same time. I simply cannot do it. Take charge O Lord! I told Him today. Really cannot. I do not even have the strength to stand up straight after yesterday's saga. How do I expect myself to do anything? GR was really sweet, immediately offered to help me take over the morning devotion. I just looked at him, far from my usual, loud, boisterous self, "GR, you all must help me again today..There's absolutely not much strength in me." Siew Khim took over the guitar playing and as the Lord led the morning worship. I felt simply wonderful to let God take charge again.
Despite my sickness, missions still have to go on. I would have to help Siew Khim, take over a Primary One class in sharing the story on Noah's Ark and also balloon sculpting. I had to pull Nicholas along. I dun think I could last on my own. True enough, I knocked out for two hours in Francis' room before I could do any work.
The children were wonderful. Their faces showed so much eagerness and enthusiasm to learn and when we taught them "Jesus Loves me" in Chinese, they sang with so much joy. Indeed their attitude was superb. Most of us were teachers in this team and when we saw the children taking initiative to do their duty roster of clearing the school compounds and sweeping the floors, doing the washing and stuff. Man, we were thinking to ourselves, this would NOT be the case for our kids that we teach back in Singapore. The kids back home are too pampered la...
It was wonderful to conduct a lesson with God. When you are at your wits end and absolutely sick and God steps in with a gentle hand. I once again saw how beautiful it was. He paved the way for us so much that even the teacher who took part in the lessons had no objection of us sharing the love of Christ into the classroom!
We were able to share the story of God's promises to mankind through Noah's Ark and also how God's love is meant for everyone. All of us felt a strong sense of burden for the children after realising that these children had been through a lot, some even witnessing their parents' violent deaths before they were sent into the orphanage. We were so touched by their resilence to life and their attitude towards studies. Indeed the children reflected a lot back to us then we would have expected to impact in their lives!
Thank You Lord for your most wonderful work done again in this day....:)
Nicholas coping with the rush of kids that came to him during balloon sculpting.
Me helping out in making the balloon figures for the chilren.
Han3 Feng4 with her new balloon hat!
5th Day - 27th Nov 2007 Tuesday
Was pulled to sit in with the Primary 5 table today even though I hardly got to interact with them. Got to know this very learned boy called Pai Jianyun. He was so learned that as I was helping Carol prepare for her English lesson, drawing her paper plate "angels", he came up to me and started reciting the whole history of the French troops invading Yuan2 Ming2 Yuan2. I was so shocked that such wisdom comes from a 12- year boy. I took him aside and chatted with him and was so amazed at his great knowledge of literature of Lu Xun and many other great authors. These are really tough books for such a young boy like him! As I chatted with him further, I realised his sad past of his parents having passed away from drug overdose and his strong hatred for drug abusers. His dreams, his visions for life all lost in those sad eyes of his. He wants to be a dancer, his one great interest and a policeman so that he could nab all the drug offenders.
I was so touched by this boy. If he was saved he would definitely be a strong influencer for God! Carol had spoken to him the day before and I continued to chat with him. Then, I felt God's presence very strongly, when Jianyun suddenly came to me and said to me, "Ah Yee (Auntie), you looked troubled, you seemed to be very listless, are you okay?" I don't know what came over me and at that sound of that boy's gentle voice, I started crying. Really feeling God's love and concern from the heart of that young boy. He's really special. Ha! Broke off my strong defences and teared, something that I have not done in a long while. Got GR to quickly talk to that boy as soon as possible so as to hope that his heart would be stirred about the message of Christ.
My heart really softened so much today.
Went through the day with the English class with Carol in the P4 level as GR and Nic taught the P3s with the Science experiments all.
I was a different Rachel as I went back to the inn. I started to reflect on how small I am and how sensitive was I to God every single day of my life that I fail to realise that sometimes I go on with the daily chores that I need to do and fail to notice that God cares even for the minute details of my life?
God put in me a burden for Jianyun. I would want to do a little something for him despite my short stay there....
Helping out at the English Lesson for Primary 4s
Primary 4 children participating during class
GR and Nic teaching the P3 class
Lovely, engrossed faces at the class
6th Day - 28th Nov 2007 Wednesday
Went to help out GR at the Science class today after a lengthy discussion with Carol on the flow of the English Class. We really felt that God would do something in the hearts of the children that she would be teaching today. Indeed at the end of her lesson, she broke the good news that 30 young souls were saved! It was amazing to see how God really moved through all the lessons and the children's hearts as the Christmas story was shared.
Jianyun was certainly one of the factors, him being the one to take initiative to ask how he could being a Christian! We were all so glad that God really caused the hearts of the children to really acknowledge the love of God and the gift of salvation. Praise the Lord for the souls saved! Indeed God goes on with His marvelous work being done and I thank God for Carol for being such a woman of great faith and carrying on with the lesson despite of the initial difficulties faced! Well done team!
The P6s on the other hand were also very appreciative of the Science lessons and we had certainly great fun! Our initial thoughts of the P6 children not able to appreciate balloon sculpting were all cast away as we saw how the balloons really opened up the children's hearts. These children are an epitome of how God really loves them and even the simplest of life's things can really amaze and touch them.
WOW GOD! YOU ARE AMAZING! :D
GR at the P6 Science Lesson
Kids all amazed at the peeing figurine
Preparing for the big "Birthday Party" for the children on Thursday! :P
I woke up today and felt as if the world took 30 seconds to spin from one point to another. My head hurts and my whole perspective was in a whirl. I was supposed to lead the morning devotions and being the only guitarist around, play two roles at the same time. I simply cannot do it. Take charge O Lord! I told Him today. Really cannot. I do not even have the strength to stand up straight after yesterday's saga. How do I expect myself to do anything? GR was really sweet, immediately offered to help me take over the morning devotion. I just looked at him, far from my usual, loud, boisterous self, "GR, you all must help me again today..There's absolutely not much strength in me." Siew Khim took over the guitar playing and as the Lord led the morning worship. I felt simply wonderful to let God take charge again.
Despite my sickness, missions still have to go on. I would have to help Siew Khim, take over a Primary One class in sharing the story on Noah's Ark and also balloon sculpting. I had to pull Nicholas along. I dun think I could last on my own. True enough, I knocked out for two hours in Francis' room before I could do any work.
The children were wonderful. Their faces showed so much eagerness and enthusiasm to learn and when we taught them "Jesus Loves me" in Chinese, they sang with so much joy. Indeed their attitude was superb. Most of us were teachers in this team and when we saw the children taking initiative to do their duty roster of clearing the school compounds and sweeping the floors, doing the washing and stuff. Man, we were thinking to ourselves, this would NOT be the case for our kids that we teach back in Singapore. The kids back home are too pampered la...
It was wonderful to conduct a lesson with God. When you are at your wits end and absolutely sick and God steps in with a gentle hand. I once again saw how beautiful it was. He paved the way for us so much that even the teacher who took part in the lessons had no objection of us sharing the love of Christ into the classroom!
We were able to share the story of God's promises to mankind through Noah's Ark and also how God's love is meant for everyone. All of us felt a strong sense of burden for the children after realising that these children had been through a lot, some even witnessing their parents' violent deaths before they were sent into the orphanage. We were so touched by their resilence to life and their attitude towards studies. Indeed the children reflected a lot back to us then we would have expected to impact in their lives!
Thank You Lord for your most wonderful work done again in this day....:)
Nicholas coping with the rush of kids that came to him during balloon sculpting.
Me helping out in making the balloon figures for the chilren.
Han3 Feng4 with her new balloon hat!
5th Day - 27th Nov 2007 Tuesday
Was pulled to sit in with the Primary 5 table today even though I hardly got to interact with them. Got to know this very learned boy called Pai Jianyun. He was so learned that as I was helping Carol prepare for her English lesson, drawing her paper plate "angels", he came up to me and started reciting the whole history of the French troops invading Yuan2 Ming2 Yuan2. I was so shocked that such wisdom comes from a 12- year boy. I took him aside and chatted with him and was so amazed at his great knowledge of literature of Lu Xun and many other great authors. These are really tough books for such a young boy like him! As I chatted with him further, I realised his sad past of his parents having passed away from drug overdose and his strong hatred for drug abusers. His dreams, his visions for life all lost in those sad eyes of his. He wants to be a dancer, his one great interest and a policeman so that he could nab all the drug offenders.
I was so touched by this boy. If he was saved he would definitely be a strong influencer for God! Carol had spoken to him the day before and I continued to chat with him. Then, I felt God's presence very strongly, when Jianyun suddenly came to me and said to me, "Ah Yee (Auntie), you looked troubled, you seemed to be very listless, are you okay?" I don't know what came over me and at that sound of that boy's gentle voice, I started crying. Really feeling God's love and concern from the heart of that young boy. He's really special. Ha! Broke off my strong defences and teared, something that I have not done in a long while. Got GR to quickly talk to that boy as soon as possible so as to hope that his heart would be stirred about the message of Christ.
My heart really softened so much today.
Went through the day with the English class with Carol in the P4 level as GR and Nic taught the P3s with the Science experiments all.
I was a different Rachel as I went back to the inn. I started to reflect on how small I am and how sensitive was I to God every single day of my life that I fail to realise that sometimes I go on with the daily chores that I need to do and fail to notice that God cares even for the minute details of my life?
God put in me a burden for Jianyun. I would want to do a little something for him despite my short stay there....
Helping out at the English Lesson for Primary 4s
Primary 4 children participating during class
GR and Nic teaching the P3 class
Lovely, engrossed faces at the class
6th Day - 28th Nov 2007 Wednesday
Went to help out GR at the Science class today after a lengthy discussion with Carol on the flow of the English Class. We really felt that God would do something in the hearts of the children that she would be teaching today. Indeed at the end of her lesson, she broke the good news that 30 young souls were saved! It was amazing to see how God really moved through all the lessons and the children's hearts as the Christmas story was shared.
Jianyun was certainly one of the factors, him being the one to take initiative to ask how he could being a Christian! We were all so glad that God really caused the hearts of the children to really acknowledge the love of God and the gift of salvation. Praise the Lord for the souls saved! Indeed God goes on with His marvelous work being done and I thank God for Carol for being such a woman of great faith and carrying on with the lesson despite of the initial difficulties faced! Well done team!
The P6s on the other hand were also very appreciative of the Science lessons and we had certainly great fun! Our initial thoughts of the P6 children not able to appreciate balloon sculpting were all cast away as we saw how the balloons really opened up the children's hearts. These children are an epitome of how God really loves them and even the simplest of life's things can really amaze and touch them.
WOW GOD! YOU ARE AMAZING! :D
GR at the P6 Science Lesson
Kids all amazed at the peeing figurine
Preparing for the big "Birthday Party" for the children on Thursday! :P
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Missions Trip To China 23rd Nov- 3rd Dec 2007
Dear Lord,
Thank you so much for this trip and for the experiences that I felt throughout this period of time. Many times, I could have been defeated and fell along the way, if not for YOU and for all the people who were our prayer warriors supporting us all the way...I would not have made it...
First day - 23rd Nov Friday
Could not sleep the whole night, been packing and planning and praying the whole time, so afraid that I would miss out on anything during the trip. Barely slept two hours when I jumped out of bed at 5 a.m and started printing some last minute pictures which I need for the Games Day on Sunday. Kept receiving frantic calls from Xiu Qin to quickly rush to the airport for check in. The whole day consisted of waiting for transit in between planes from Singapore to Bangkok then from Bangkok to Kunming and finally our destination.
Kept praying throughout the whole trip for all the people I left for a short while back in Singapore, God to move in my heart, God to speak to me specifically regarding the missions work and how I could contribute in this trip. Guess all the tiredness and sickness that I brought along from Singapore did not really help...feel jetlag and having a runny nose all the time...will it stop?
The whole flying thing took us to 7 plus in the evening. We were all greeted by really cold weather of between 0-3 degrees Celsius!
People from the orphanage that we were visiting came to pick us and we had a sumptuous dinner of jiao3 zi4! yum!
Day Two - 24th Nov Sat
Went to walk around the "Old City" (gu3 cheng2) as a tour...had a taste of freshly picked strawberries...man they were so sweet and delectable, we forgot all about hygiene and just kept popping them into our mouths after buying from the tribal ladies along the roadside. They were the sweetest strawberries I have EVER eaten, fresh some more. Took a lot of sights and sounds of the city...must really see for yourself to appreciate Yunnan's varied cultures and the 22 different tribes! The Naxi women are considered to be the more female-dominated tribe, whereby the women are made head of the household! Men are not expected to do any menial work and ladies would have to be garang and take charge of everything..check out my photo links for details! :P A short but very meaningful cultural lesson here.The girls are so forthcoming that some of our dear brothers in the team had their fair share of attention from the girls! Carol and I digged at them "We are VERY SAFE here in this part of China!" tee heee heee...:P
Made a trip to the school in the afternoon and had lunch with the children. Was very impressed by their cultural performances put up. Some of the kids even took me around their school compound and their dominitories. We were already beginning to be very impressed by their strong sense of survival and hearing their many sad stories of how their parents died, our hearts were already very moved and many of us ready to want to do something in the lives of these kids.
We were hosted very well by Francis a Singaporean who forsaken everything he had to work at the orphanage and "Hu2 Mama" a very dedicated and capable lady who single-handedly set up the orphanage more than 20 years ago. She went to the extremes to "collect" all these orphans from all the hill tribes of China, and as we listened to how she trusted God despite all her difficulties faced with the authorities and in getting the finances - 3 million Yuan a year, to run the orphanage we were all in awe. She is certainly one amazing lady with a big heart.
We were treated to a sumptuous meal at the end of the day at a small hotel and restuarant ran by the secondary school branch of the orphanage. The orphanage also provided for the children a chance for them to earn cash and to run a small business for their living.
Hu2 Ma ma Sharing her testimony of how God healed her of her illness to enable her to carry on the work at the orphanage
The secondary school branch of the orphanage where the kids blessed us with their marvelous cooking! A "Dai" Tribe boy presented us a tribal song!
Day Three - 25th Nov Sunday
Lovely shot of me, Carol, Guang Rong and baby Wang Rui! She was the doll of the team every day!
Me with the Primary 3 children who showed me around.
Had a serious lesson from the Lord today: SURRENDER. And what it really means to me.
Just after lunch, I already felt terrible, was so stressed the previous night that we all stayed up in the cold and chilly guys' room on the second floor of the inn that we stayed in, planning the flow of this big "Games Day" and preparing all the materials. It was supposed to be me being the overall in charge, little did I know that I was to be so tested and so weak at the onslaught of the things that were to happen.
I saw Auntie Mag, whom I felt was like my Samaritan for the whole trip, and she commented that I looked very pale and weak. Sat me down at the steps leading to the school hall, and provided me with hot water and medication. I was so weak that words cannot describe how I felt. She rubbed my back and my whole head just went burst. I could no longer think straight and I know that I was living in a whirl for that good one hour in the cold wind, lying on the lap of Auntie Mag in the cold wind. Auntie Mag herself was down with bad gastric pains. If you all are talking about spiritual attacks...I think we were really struck down, just hours before the big event where I had to run the games for the whole school...I prayed very hard underneath my breath.
Francis saw the both of us and kindly offered us his room to rest. That was the beginning of the failing of my health from that point onwards. Shortly after I laid myself down to rest, I threw up all my breakfast, lunch and whatnots. I had not vommitted in years! Aunt Mag stood by me, caring for me, and I really prayed for God to help me, prayed for the people whom I had briefed to to be able to run the rest of the show. I was so so weak that there was a strong battle within me, I want to run the show but my body cannot take it. There at that point, God showed me: Surrender to Him. All my worries and concerns and how the thing is going to turn out. The pictures you see below and above are taken are after my "vommiting" saga. Praise God for sustaining me!
I continued to monitor the running of the games after resting for a few hours in the room until I know I was nearly fainting at the very last part the finale Telematch, too weak to even carry the prizes that we had prepared for the children. That was when my stubborness had taken the toll on me - I have to leave it the hands of Guang Rong, Nic, Carol and Peiqi and Siew Qin to finish what was started for me...I really have to let go...It was certainly a very humbling experience if you ask me. To be so weak and totally dependent of people to save me and to assist me. Thank God for the rest of the team that day and for God to preserve me!
Surrendering really means, leaving it all to the hands of HIM, who would run the show for you, who would ensure you that everything to go according to HIS PLAN not your plan, after you have prayed over the thing and committed the result in His hands. The more you try to hold on to something that God had intended for something better, the more you would struggle. I saw the beauty of allowing God to run things according to His plans that lovely afternoon in Lijiang, and I was truly falling at His feet all over again. To have tried to control the timing and the smooth flow of the program that I had orginally intended would have really marred the children's fun and experience of the whole event.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
~Proverbs 16:9
Photo collage of the Telematch - Check out the children's faces!
To be continued...
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Psalm 71:20
Think I have blogged about this in 2005 about how God saved me through my troubles once again. Am so relieved...
"Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth yo will again BRING ME UP."
Just thought of how undeserving I am of God's mercy I am again...
I must really blog about this to once again testify how wonderful God's goodness is...what I share is going to be really sensitive and it can really shake my world so beware....
I have done a major mistake on my part. I have miscalculated my pupils' marks after printing and after generating the report slips. Can't really blame the system for generating the wrong class position. I should have waited. Been rather complacent over the results and have left it at that for a good two weeks.
It was until last night did i want to go check my results slip and the marks sheet.
I was struck green in the face by what I saw and I could not really sleep after that...
The class position were all WRONG. Not tallying with the results slip.
There's this huge sinking feeling you know that you have done something major, some grave big mistake.
I have already informed the parents and asked to the kid to go for rehearsals for prize giving..what to do man?
I did what was the only thing I could do, I prayed.Told GOd how sorry I was and how careless and asking Him to bring me out of the situation with His wisdom and strength...I really could not sleep...went first thing in the morning...told no one except the HOD...I am in serious trouble.
God is really with me all the way, He helped me through the HOD, how he sat down and resolved the issue with me, gave me advice on how to speak to the parents etc...how he urged me to trust in the Lord too. I was so encouraged!
I decided there and then, my ecapism cannot work, I must do something about it. ANd the very first thing i can do is not to let my emotions and feelings affect what the children are facing today. I decided to let them have FUN. I forsaken every worry at the point of time and joked and laughed with the kids. By the time I was done for the morning, the two kids whom I have spoken to have agreed amicably on their change in their class position. Everything went well.
With much trembling I asked the Malay Mother Tongue teacher to be with me as I break the horrifying truth: that their son has not got that class position after all. To my surprise and relief, He was so kind and mentioned, "I know something is wrong, My son did not get as good grades as last semester, he could not have got that position. I understand where you were coming from and I accept!" I so so relieved that I hugged the mother tongue teacher!! Thank goodness he managed to agree upon a "peace offering' for my mistake.
So amazing was God's grace, it all boils down to doing the very least at the very lowest level, was to trust in the Lord and to continue bringing joy to those around me...Thank You Lord! Once again YOU RAISE ME UP...:)
"Though You have made me see troubles, many and bitter, You will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth yo will again BRING ME UP."
Just thought of how undeserving I am of God's mercy I am again...
I must really blog about this to once again testify how wonderful God's goodness is...what I share is going to be really sensitive and it can really shake my world so beware....
I have done a major mistake on my part. I have miscalculated my pupils' marks after printing and after generating the report slips. Can't really blame the system for generating the wrong class position. I should have waited. Been rather complacent over the results and have left it at that for a good two weeks.
It was until last night did i want to go check my results slip and the marks sheet.
I was struck green in the face by what I saw and I could not really sleep after that...
The class position were all WRONG. Not tallying with the results slip.
There's this huge sinking feeling you know that you have done something major, some grave big mistake.
I have already informed the parents and asked to the kid to go for rehearsals for prize giving..what to do man?
I did what was the only thing I could do, I prayed.Told GOd how sorry I was and how careless and asking Him to bring me out of the situation with His wisdom and strength...I really could not sleep...went first thing in the morning...told no one except the HOD...I am in serious trouble.
God is really with me all the way, He helped me through the HOD, how he sat down and resolved the issue with me, gave me advice on how to speak to the parents etc...how he urged me to trust in the Lord too. I was so encouraged!
I decided there and then, my ecapism cannot work, I must do something about it. ANd the very first thing i can do is not to let my emotions and feelings affect what the children are facing today. I decided to let them have FUN. I forsaken every worry at the point of time and joked and laughed with the kids. By the time I was done for the morning, the two kids whom I have spoken to have agreed amicably on their change in their class position. Everything went well.
With much trembling I asked the Malay Mother Tongue teacher to be with me as I break the horrifying truth: that their son has not got that class position after all. To my surprise and relief, He was so kind and mentioned, "I know something is wrong, My son did not get as good grades as last semester, he could not have got that position. I understand where you were coming from and I accept!" I so so relieved that I hugged the mother tongue teacher!! Thank goodness he managed to agree upon a "peace offering' for my mistake.
So amazing was God's grace, it all boils down to doing the very least at the very lowest level, was to trust in the Lord and to continue bringing joy to those around me...Thank You Lord! Once again YOU RAISE ME UP...:)
Monday, November 12, 2007
God is amazing! :)
Had a prayer meeting just over the Sunday Morning before service where our leader shared to us on being opportunistic in sharing the Gospel. It can happen ANYWHERE, be it at your workplace, between friends, even in the context of a funeral setting!
Heard an encouraging testimony about my Care leader that he was so opportunistic that at a certain Christian wake, he even took the chance to witness to the people around him! Such was the amazing extent of the burden that he felt for the lost.
Today after service, realised that we had our dear friend LP coming to service by herself! She has been rather close to us for the past one year and I was amazed by how much she wants to come and hear message and the Word of the God! It was such a surprise visit cos she did not sms anyone of us...
GOd bless her heart of wanting to hear the Gospel. May You touch her heart soon...:) AMen!
Now is the time when opportunity arises, there you have a person willing to hear and know more about God...how are you taking your chances today? :)
Heard an encouraging testimony about my Care leader that he was so opportunistic that at a certain Christian wake, he even took the chance to witness to the people around him! Such was the amazing extent of the burden that he felt for the lost.
Today after service, realised that we had our dear friend LP coming to service by herself! She has been rather close to us for the past one year and I was amazed by how much she wants to come and hear message and the Word of the God! It was such a surprise visit cos she did not sms anyone of us...
GOd bless her heart of wanting to hear the Gospel. May You touch her heart soon...:) AMen!
Now is the time when opportunity arises, there you have a person willing to hear and know more about God...how are you taking your chances today? :)
Saturday, November 10, 2007
My dear Primary 1s
Realised today that 3 of my P1 pupils are transferring to a new school on the block!
Was so sad that I called them up individually one by one to talk to them to ask them why they are changing school etc. Two of them had said that their parents think that the new school is nearer to their house and they only need to walk unlike their current school which they would have to take a school bus...
I hugged each and everyone individually, Akmal, Yan Qin and Fatima, will miss them so much...such sweet, well-behaved kids...teared a bit la...sigh...
Was so sad that I called them up individually one by one to talk to them to ask them why they are changing school etc. Two of them had said that their parents think that the new school is nearer to their house and they only need to walk unlike their current school which they would have to take a school bus...
I hugged each and everyone individually, Akmal, Yan Qin and Fatima, will miss them so much...such sweet, well-behaved kids...teared a bit la...sigh...
Friday, November 02, 2007
The scary sound of silence...
Have you ever experienced or come across people who simply cannot respond to you even when you talk to them, smile at them? Say things to them at their Mother Tongue?
It wasn't until I entered teaching did I realise just how pampered and protected I am as a kid. I was hardly exposed to people who are just different. My friends are mostly "normal" kids if you can understand what I mean.
WHen I entered into the Primary School classroom, you have kids who cannot read, dyslexic (read letters and words backwards), autistic kids (quiet,or unable to control emotions) ADHD Syndrome (hyperactive children)...kids that just stare at you, deep down into you, at whatever antics you try to pull...They cannot open their mouth to answer. You wonder to yourself, "What's going on in their little minds? Do they comprehend what you are saying? Do they make sense of the sounds that are around them? Especially those that are speech that are coming from people?"
It is scary...some kids I have come across just simply cannot relay what they want to tell me. They come to me every day,....silently, lifting their homework to me, not uttering a single word, or say a word of good morning. All communication is through their eyes and body movement...Kid Z would always come to me, shaking his legs, eyes are on me, that blank motionless stare ...You would have to comprehend to yourself does Kid Z want : A - Go toilet? B - Someone bullying him? C-I forgot to bring my homework or D - I just wanna come up to you and freak you out. Cos, he simply does not answer ANY of my questions of "What's the matter?" or "What do you want?" There were many times when I could not understand what he was trying to say and he actually wetted and soiled his pants a few times...
I am so sorry that I have to say this....I really don't know how to react. It took me a long while to appreciate Kid Z. He had such a sweet, sweet smile. There was this incident that scared me out of my wits, Kid Z had an asthma attack and it was right there in my classroom. He was sobbing from morning 8am to 930am. I was not first-aid trained and I tried to coax him, talk to him, he cannot tell me what was wrong with him. Finally took him to the general office then found out from the first-aidders that through his sobbing he had a faint wheezing sound...It was ASTHMA! Can you imagine you are autistic and you have an attack for a good 1 and half hours and NO ONE KNOWS? This is so scary!!! A matter of life and death in a matter of seconds!
God's grace and protection was certainly on me and that kid then.
Then just yesterday, another same case kid, Kid S came up to me. He could recognise my common commands and instructions and he would repeat them with much enthusiasm, causing everyone in the class to laugh. Kid S came up to me just yesterday "Teacher, I have not finished my work,"pointing to his unfilled worksheet...in the exact same fashion as his group mate E had just done, but the difference is, with a blank face and a mechanic voice.... You really wonder to yourself, does he do it because he recognise patterns and form? Or does he really understand what he's trying to tell me?
The Lord is really teaching me a lesson on how to really love and appreciate kids properly...
Shivers down my spine again...
It wasn't until I entered teaching did I realise just how pampered and protected I am as a kid. I was hardly exposed to people who are just different. My friends are mostly "normal" kids if you can understand what I mean.
WHen I entered into the Primary School classroom, you have kids who cannot read, dyslexic (read letters and words backwards), autistic kids (quiet,or unable to control emotions) ADHD Syndrome (hyperactive children)...kids that just stare at you, deep down into you, at whatever antics you try to pull...They cannot open their mouth to answer. You wonder to yourself, "What's going on in their little minds? Do they comprehend what you are saying? Do they make sense of the sounds that are around them? Especially those that are speech that are coming from people?"
It is scary...some kids I have come across just simply cannot relay what they want to tell me. They come to me every day,....silently, lifting their homework to me, not uttering a single word, or say a word of good morning. All communication is through their eyes and body movement...Kid Z would always come to me, shaking his legs, eyes are on me, that blank motionless stare ...You would have to comprehend to yourself does Kid Z want : A - Go toilet? B - Someone bullying him? C-I forgot to bring my homework or D - I just wanna come up to you and freak you out. Cos, he simply does not answer ANY of my questions of "What's the matter?" or "What do you want?" There were many times when I could not understand what he was trying to say and he actually wetted and soiled his pants a few times...
I am so sorry that I have to say this....I really don't know how to react. It took me a long while to appreciate Kid Z. He had such a sweet, sweet smile. There was this incident that scared me out of my wits, Kid Z had an asthma attack and it was right there in my classroom. He was sobbing from morning 8am to 930am. I was not first-aid trained and I tried to coax him, talk to him, he cannot tell me what was wrong with him. Finally took him to the general office then found out from the first-aidders that through his sobbing he had a faint wheezing sound...It was ASTHMA! Can you imagine you are autistic and you have an attack for a good 1 and half hours and NO ONE KNOWS? This is so scary!!! A matter of life and death in a matter of seconds!
God's grace and protection was certainly on me and that kid then.
Then just yesterday, another same case kid, Kid S came up to me. He could recognise my common commands and instructions and he would repeat them with much enthusiasm, causing everyone in the class to laugh. Kid S came up to me just yesterday "Teacher, I have not finished my work,"pointing to his unfilled worksheet...in the exact same fashion as his group mate E had just done, but the difference is, with a blank face and a mechanic voice.... You really wonder to yourself, does he do it because he recognise patterns and form? Or does he really understand what he's trying to tell me?
The Lord is really teaching me a lesson on how to really love and appreciate kids properly...
Shivers down my spine again...
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
The Other Boot
From Mountain Wings -
The Other Boot
===============
My Father used to tell my brothers and me a story of World War I. While a young soldier was praying before bedtime one night,another soldier told him to stop that noise and threw one of hisboots at him.
The next morning, the soldier who had been praying returned the boot to its owner cleaned and polished, and asked for the otherone and said he would also polish that one.
My father said the young soldier was never abused again. I was only a little girl when my father told this story, but I have never forgotten it.
~Submitted by Meg Seaman, Australia
~ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let himhave your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile,go with him two miles. (Mat 5:39-41 NIV)
Just felt that this email is so divine. Was chatting with my leader about some issues. He said exactly the same thing. Teared a bit over the phone cos its really tough, you see it in writing to turn the other cheek when someone slaps you in one cheek... But you are so hurt by the first cheek already that you cannot turn your neck! My leader urged me to do as much as my human strength allows me to and to stand there and wait patiently. After all, Jesus is still nice to people who mistreated Him.
What if you obey God and you turn your other cheeks and in the end both cheeks are equally scarred, mawed and slapped hard upon, what now? Probably as much as it hurts me, the hand that welded the stroke on my cheek is also hurting so much more inside?
I don't know how long this is going to last. I cannot take it anymore...God help me help me help me....Can I live without a heart?
:(
The Other Boot
===============
My Father used to tell my brothers and me a story of World War I. While a young soldier was praying before bedtime one night,another soldier told him to stop that noise and threw one of hisboots at him.
The next morning, the soldier who had been praying returned the boot to its owner cleaned and polished, and asked for the otherone and said he would also polish that one.
My father said the young soldier was never abused again. I was only a little girl when my father told this story, but I have never forgotten it.
~Submitted by Meg Seaman, Australia
~ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let himhave your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile,go with him two miles. (Mat 5:39-41 NIV)
Just felt that this email is so divine. Was chatting with my leader about some issues. He said exactly the same thing. Teared a bit over the phone cos its really tough, you see it in writing to turn the other cheek when someone slaps you in one cheek... But you are so hurt by the first cheek already that you cannot turn your neck! My leader urged me to do as much as my human strength allows me to and to stand there and wait patiently. After all, Jesus is still nice to people who mistreated Him.
What if you obey God and you turn your other cheeks and in the end both cheeks are equally scarred, mawed and slapped hard upon, what now? Probably as much as it hurts me, the hand that welded the stroke on my cheek is also hurting so much more inside?
I don't know how long this is going to last. I cannot take it anymore...God help me help me help me....Can I live without a heart?
:(
Friday, October 26, 2007
Good Story from Professor John Powell
This is a good read sent to me by Carol. Enjoy! :D
A true story.>>>>>
Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy...
Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into>the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.
It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange...very strange.
Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew. When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone,
"Do you think I'll ever find God?" I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.
"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing." I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out,
"Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!"
He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line "He will find you! " At least I thought it was clever.
Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a>result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe.
"Tommy, I've thought about you so often I hear you're sick," I blurted out.
"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."
"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.
"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.
"What's it like to be only 24 and dying?"
"Well, it could be worse."
"Like what?"
"Well, like being 50 and having no values or ideals, like being 50 and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life."
I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)
"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!)
He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which>surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time." (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)
"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out.. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit. Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit."
"I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you lovedthat you had loved them.'"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad.
He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.
"Dad."
"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper
."Dad, I would like to talk with you."
"Well, talk."
"I mean...It's really important."
The newspaper came down three slow inches.
"What is it?"
"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that."
Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though hefelt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.
"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years."
"I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to."
"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.'
"Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He>found me even after I stopped looking for Him."
"Tommy," I practically gasped,
"I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He>said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.'
"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell it."
"Ooh I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."
"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."
In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined. Before he died, we talked one last time.
"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.
"I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?"
"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."
So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- 'I told them, Tommy, as best I could.'
If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.
With thanks,
Rev. John Powell, Professor
Loyola University in Chicago
A true story.>>>>>
Father John Powell, a professor at Loyola University in Chicago writes about a student in his Theology of Faith class named Tommy...
Some twelve years ago, I stood watching my university students file into>the classroom for our first session in the Theology of Faith. That was the day I first saw Tommy. My eyes and my mind both blinked. He was combing his long flaxen hair, which hung six inches below his shoulders.
It was the first time I had ever seen a boy with hair that long. I guess it was just coming into fashion then. I know in my mind that it isn't what's on your head but what's in it that counts; but on that day I was unprepared and my emotions flipped. I immediately filed Tommy under "S" for strange...very strange.
Tommy turned out to be the "atheist in residence" in my Theology of Faith course. He constantly objected to, smirked at, or whined about the possibility of an unconditionally loving Father/God. We lived with each other in relative peace for one semester, although I admit he was for me at times a serious pain in the back pew. When he came up at the end of the course to turn in his final exam, he asked in a cynical tone,
"Do you think I'll ever find God?" I decided instantly on a little shock therapy. "No!" I said very emphatically.
"Why not," he responded, "I thought that was the product you were pushing." I let him get five steps from the classroom door and then called out,
"Tommy! I don't think you'll ever find Him, but I am absolutely certain that He will find you!"
He shrugged a little and left my class and my life. I felt slightly disappointed at the thought that he had missed my clever line "He will find you! " At least I thought it was clever.
Later I heard that Tommy had graduated and I was duly grateful. Then a sad report came. I heard that Tommy had terminal cancer. Before I could search him out, he came to see me. When he walked into my office, his body was very badly wasted and the long hair had all fallen out as a>result of chemotherapy. But his eyes were bright and his voice was firm, for the first time, I believe.
"Tommy, I've thought about you so often I hear you're sick," I blurted out.
"Oh, yes, very sick. I have cancer in both lungs. It's a matter of weeks."
"Can you talk about it, Tom?" I asked.
"Sure, what would you like to know?" he replied.
"What's it like to be only 24 and dying?"
"Well, it could be worse."
"Like what?"
"Well, like being 50 and having no values or ideals, like being 50 and thinking that booze, seducing women, and making money are the real biggies in life."
I began to look through my mental file cabinet under 'S' where I had filed Tommy as strange. (It seems as though everybody I try to reject by classification, God sends back into my life to educate me.)
"But what I really came to see you about," Tom said, "is something you said to me on the last day of class." (He remembered!)
He continued, "I asked you if you thought I would ever find God and you said, 'No!' which>surprised me. Then you said, 'But He will find you.' I thought about that a lot, even though my search for God was hardly intense at that time." (My clever line. He thought about that a lot!)
"But when the doctors removed a lump from my groin and told me that it was malignant, that's when I got serious about locating God. And when the malignancy spread into my vital organs, I really began banging bloody fists against the bronze doors of heaven. But God did not come out.. In fact, nothing happened. Did you ever try anything for a long time with great effort and with no success? You get psychologically glutted, fed up with trying. And then you quit. Well, one day I woke up, and instead of throwing a few more futile appeals over that high brick wall to a God who may be or may not be there, I just quit."
"I decided that I didn't really care about God, about an after life, or anything like that. I decided to spend what time I had left doing something more profitable. I thought about you and your class and I remembered something else you had said: 'The essential sadness is to go through life without loving. But it would be almost equally sad to go through life and leave this world without ever telling those you lovedthat you had loved them.'"So, I began with the hardest one, my Dad.
He was reading the newspaper when I approached him.
"Dad."
"Yes, what?" he asked without lowering the newspaper
."Dad, I would like to talk with you."
"Well, talk."
"I mean...It's really important."
The newspaper came down three slow inches.
"What is it?"
"Dad, I love you. I just wanted you to know that."
Tom smiled at me and said it with obvious satisfaction, as though hefelt a warm and secret joy flowing inside of him.
"The newspaper fluttered to the floor. Then my father did two things I could never remember him ever doing before. He cried and he hugged me. We talked all night, even though he had to go to work the next morning. It felt so good to be close to my father, to see his tears, to feel his hug, to hear him say that he loved me."
"It was easier with my mother and little brother. They cried with me, too, and we hugged each other, and started saying real nice things to each other. We shared the things we had been keeping secret for so many years."
"I was only sorry about one thing --- that I had waited so long. Here I was, just beginning to open up to all the people I had actually been close to."
"Then, one day I turned around and God was there. He didn't come to me when I pleaded with Him. I guess I was like an animal trainer holding out a hoop, 'C'mon, jump through. C'mon, I'll give you three days, three weeks.'
"Apparently God does things in His own way and at His own hour. But the important thing is that He was there. He found me! You were right. He>found me even after I stopped looking for Him."
"Tommy," I practically gasped,
"I think you are saying something very important and much more universal than you realize. To me, at least, you are saying that the surest way to find God is not to make Him a private possession, a problem solver, or an instant consolation in time of need, but rather by opening to love. You know, the Apostle John said that. He>said: 'God is love, and anyone who lives in love is living with God and God is living in him.'
"Tom, could I ask you a favor? You know, when I had you in class you were a real pain. But (laughingly) you can make it all up to me now. Would you come into my present Theology of Faith course and tell them what you have just told me? If I told them the same thing it wouldn't be half as effective as if you were to tell it."
"Ooh I was ready for you, but I don't know if I'm ready for your class."
"Tom, think about it. If and when you are ready, give me a call."
In a few days Tom called, said he was ready for the class, that he wanted to do that for God and for me. So we scheduled a date. However, he never made it. He had another appointment, far more important than the one with me and my class. Of course, his life was not really ended by his death, only changed. He made the great step from faith into vision. He found a life far more beautiful than the eye of man has ever seen or the ear of man has ever heard or the mind of man has ever imagined. Before he died, we talked one last time.
"I'm not going to make it to your class," he said.
"I know, Tom."
"Will you tell them for me? Will you tell the whole world for me?"
"I will, Tom. I'll tell them. I'll do my best."
So, to all of you who have been kind enough to read this simple story about God's love, thank you for listening. And to you, Tommy, somewhere in the sunlit, verdant hills of heaven --- 'I told them, Tommy, as best I could.'
If this story means anything to you, please pass it on to a friend or two. It is a true story and is not enhanced for publicity purposes.
With thanks,
Rev. John Powell, Professor
Loyola University in Chicago
Thursday, October 25, 2007
For every 3 that you save...
Recently I have come to realise some shortcomings of myself and how limited I am as a person...
Sounds like a bleak start to a blog posting but its great to be able to realise how small you are, put down your ego and really acknowledge that I need God's intervention, I need His hand in my career, my life matters and everything. I realise that how much God's help that I need and I really cannot carry everything to my shoulders. I got the blues...
For every 3 pupils that you save from turning bad, 1 child will slip out of the hole in the nets which contained children that you manage to save from drowning. For every 3 children that loves you and adores you, 1 child will view you as the most terrible teacher that he or she has ever met. For every 3 pupils that you helped pass the exam and improve in their work, 1 kid will not pass, no matter how hard you tried. That's when you know, you tell God, God I have tried my best, the rest is up to You...
G is one such little boy. Being very sweet and cute looking, many teachers will be taken in by his looks and not bear to lay their hands on him. When I took G on, he was quite subdued. But two months down the road, horns on him grew and it takes harder than a chainsaw to hack them off.
G is rather weak in his studies and he's in my remedial class. I have coached him and found that he's unwilling to learn nor share his things with the rest of his group mates. This causes a great problem as he slowly "evolved" into a sweet-looking class bully.He would open his big lovely eyes and stare at you and ask you for forgiveness, which would melt many a hardened heart.
During one of those remedial days, he punched a girl very hard in the stomach. Shocked by his behaviour, immediately called his parents, to which you have a protective mother who would go, "My son will NEVER do that, He spends most of his time in the after school care, I have no idea what he does..."
An exasperated beginning teacher with not much experience in handling such parents had nothing to say.
G continued his tour of antics. Drew grafitti all over another girl's worksheet, doodled pencil marks on his bright yellow desk...
SA2 Spelling exam was imminent. Teacher called G's mum again and advised her to watch that G actually prepared for his 30-word spelling. G's mum: "I have been coaching him, but he does not listen to me and watches TV. He's very distracted that boy..." or another response will be "the tuition centre (after school care) which I send him to will take care of his homework..." win liao lor... what can I say?
G was among the only 4 who failed the Spelling exams despite numerous practices in class.
G continued to refuse reading books during silent reading and talks in class. Teacher separates him from the rest. Continues his bad handwriting. Despite numerous nagging for him to write on the lines provided, he mumbles a plain "NO!" and refuses to budge. While his 2 of his group mates have improved from a failure grade to a Band 3 and Band 2 in their English results today. G still refuses to learn.
G missed the passing mark again...
For every 3 that you save... You would have to come to terms that there's this one special child that you cannot save. Is it the environment? His parents? Asking myself now, what kinda parent I would want myself to be when I eventually would have kids of my own....I can only pray and hope that G does not grow up to by a terrible child with bad character, too protected by what parents deem as love for the child...
Sounds like a bleak start to a blog posting but its great to be able to realise how small you are, put down your ego and really acknowledge that I need God's intervention, I need His hand in my career, my life matters and everything. I realise that how much God's help that I need and I really cannot carry everything to my shoulders. I got the blues...
For every 3 pupils that you save from turning bad, 1 child will slip out of the hole in the nets which contained children that you manage to save from drowning. For every 3 children that loves you and adores you, 1 child will view you as the most terrible teacher that he or she has ever met. For every 3 pupils that you helped pass the exam and improve in their work, 1 kid will not pass, no matter how hard you tried. That's when you know, you tell God, God I have tried my best, the rest is up to You...
G is one such little boy. Being very sweet and cute looking, many teachers will be taken in by his looks and not bear to lay their hands on him. When I took G on, he was quite subdued. But two months down the road, horns on him grew and it takes harder than a chainsaw to hack them off.
G is rather weak in his studies and he's in my remedial class. I have coached him and found that he's unwilling to learn nor share his things with the rest of his group mates. This causes a great problem as he slowly "evolved" into a sweet-looking class bully.He would open his big lovely eyes and stare at you and ask you for forgiveness, which would melt many a hardened heart.
During one of those remedial days, he punched a girl very hard in the stomach. Shocked by his behaviour, immediately called his parents, to which you have a protective mother who would go, "My son will NEVER do that, He spends most of his time in the after school care, I have no idea what he does..."
An exasperated beginning teacher with not much experience in handling such parents had nothing to say.
G continued his tour of antics. Drew grafitti all over another girl's worksheet, doodled pencil marks on his bright yellow desk...
SA2 Spelling exam was imminent. Teacher called G's mum again and advised her to watch that G actually prepared for his 30-word spelling. G's mum: "I have been coaching him, but he does not listen to me and watches TV. He's very distracted that boy..." or another response will be "the tuition centre (after school care) which I send him to will take care of his homework..." win liao lor... what can I say?
G was among the only 4 who failed the Spelling exams despite numerous practices in class.
G continued to refuse reading books during silent reading and talks in class. Teacher separates him from the rest. Continues his bad handwriting. Despite numerous nagging for him to write on the lines provided, he mumbles a plain "NO!" and refuses to budge. While his 2 of his group mates have improved from a failure grade to a Band 3 and Band 2 in their English results today. G still refuses to learn.
G missed the passing mark again...
For every 3 that you save... You would have to come to terms that there's this one special child that you cannot save. Is it the environment? His parents? Asking myself now, what kinda parent I would want myself to be when I eventually would have kids of my own....I can only pray and hope that G does not grow up to by a terrible child with bad character, too protected by what parents deem as love for the child...
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
PSLE marking...marking in school :P
Teaching has its perks and it is now I am enjoying my week's break in school and taking my own sweet pace to mark all the papers and assignments that I have given the kids.
Quite "eng" as some can testify to the number of sms-es and calls that I have been giving out...
Something cute to share la,
Last Friday was a half day for all Muslim students and staff. We were expected to release the kids at 1030am in the morning so that they could go home to prepare for the festive celebrations.
This kid came up to me (obviously not a Muslim).
Kid G: Miss Tham, Miss Tham! My mum's a Malay!
Rac: (thinking to herself what kinda joke they wanna pull) But Gilbert, your mum's Chinese! I have spoken to her and seen her. She's Chinese!
Kid G: No No No! Miss Tham, my mum's a Malay!
Rac: But why do you say that Gilbert?
Kid G: (idignantly) She's born in MALAYSIA! She's a Malay!
Rac: ... ... ...
Kids can be so candid at times :P
Quite "eng" as some can testify to the number of sms-es and calls that I have been giving out...
Something cute to share la,
Last Friday was a half day for all Muslim students and staff. We were expected to release the kids at 1030am in the morning so that they could go home to prepare for the festive celebrations.
This kid came up to me (obviously not a Muslim).
Kid G: Miss Tham, Miss Tham! My mum's a Malay!
Rac: (thinking to herself what kinda joke they wanna pull) But Gilbert, your mum's Chinese! I have spoken to her and seen her. She's Chinese!
Kid G: No No No! Miss Tham, my mum's a Malay!
Rac: But why do you say that Gilbert?
Kid G: (idignantly) She's born in MALAYSIA! She's a Malay!
Rac: ... ... ...
Kids can be so candid at times :P
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Love is...
Love is ...
Seeing someone smile after you praise that person...
Your special someone being rescued by some timely thing you did that needed your help...
When you toil, you pray, you watch and wait...
When there is no response is also a response...God in His most precious timing...
Not expecting anything, the risks you take in upholding the principles and what it takes to really take care of someone and be there for someone...
You get hurt, you get stab wounds from sharp words, from hard cold stares, malicious grapevine that puncture your confidence.
Choosing to love, You choose to be that clown when others told you to stop,
Choosing to grovel at the person's feet when others told you to let go and release.
Choosing to do things for the person even he or she may just spurn you, leave you alone in that corner hugging the guitar, playing the tunes...
Allowing God to fill in the emptiness of the heart, infill it with His love before jealousy, hatred, envy, malice, and suspicion sets in...
Fill up my tank with God's love...
He knows the pains of our lives and the desires of our hearts...
But wait, Love is also...seeing the people that we care for be happy releasing it to God, taking a step back...how many times have i said this and blogged this and putting it down literally....?
Seeing someone smile after you praise that person...
Your special someone being rescued by some timely thing you did that needed your help...
When you toil, you pray, you watch and wait...
When there is no response is also a response...God in His most precious timing...
Not expecting anything, the risks you take in upholding the principles and what it takes to really take care of someone and be there for someone...
You get hurt, you get stab wounds from sharp words, from hard cold stares, malicious grapevine that puncture your confidence.
Choosing to love, You choose to be that clown when others told you to stop,
Choosing to grovel at the person's feet when others told you to let go and release.
Choosing to do things for the person even he or she may just spurn you, leave you alone in that corner hugging the guitar, playing the tunes...
Allowing God to fill in the emptiness of the heart, infill it with His love before jealousy, hatred, envy, malice, and suspicion sets in...
Fill up my tank with God's love...
He knows the pains of our lives and the desires of our hearts...
But wait, Love is also...seeing the people that we care for be happy releasing it to God, taking a step back...how many times have i said this and blogged this and putting it down literally....?
Thursday, September 20, 2007
One year on...Happy Birthday Hope Singapore!
Hope Singapore Musios
With the Hope Bangkok Musios Chin Chin - Singer, Nathan - Keyboardist and the Bassist (forgot his name :( )
My only other piece in the strings duet Sijia
Me and Daniel Leow - Youth Worship Leader
What a wonderful weekend! My mum really came! Standing there in the midst of all the crowd I can see her. Thank God for her making this small step to come to church! Although she left halfway unable to take the blaring music..I am grateful already..this is such a breakthrough. I think I must have gone through the worst spiritual warfare yet...I strained my vocal chords from teaching, My dad last minute pulled out from coming to see me play, my stress levels gone up and I am perpetually shaking badly at times, my heartaches even more, The devil really comes to search, kill and destroy..
Many times I wanna put down, come on, You all don't need a violinist right? I badly need the break...my own needs are not met! God spoke to me during the worship on serving Him forever and trusting in Him...I was so touched. In my quiet time God also spoke,
John 15:16 ~" You did not chose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit - fruit that will last".
It's a simple verse, but God made me realise again that He has appointed me as a minister and with that comes a need of a heart to be of total surrender to HIM. I broke down and cry again...It was another spiritual experience that I have felt within this month! Amidst the mad rush of costume preparation, makeup and all, I realised that I really love God and His people. Nothing can take me away, I decided once again to put down the disappointments and hurts that I have felt these few weeks once again down at the Lord's feet. God appoints He will provide and magnify. Whatever little talent you have, give it all to God, Give it all to Jesus.
He knows...
The last 6 years of my life was dedicated to this church and I am so glad that I found my family here. Having backslided for 5 years. Chukai, my dear friend from uni days introduced me here in 2001. I was so blessed by this family, all the hard decisions that I made, each to put down more of myself and put more Him into my heart, I realised that my life was never the same again.
Thank God for all the sheep, the shepherds, the pastors, the musios!! the wonderful brothers and sisters in this family of Christ! :D
The growing process was ardous and not without much pain but its this family that made me want to grow in my faith and simply love the Word of God more , not forgetting a simple wanting to obey what God says...which is quite tough due to my stubborn pride..God peels off all these little things like the skin of an onion...
I love this family of Christ, I love this family of God!
Sunday, September 09, 2007
What does a Teacher make?
Got this from a MOE email...:P
Not really into ego boosting here...but just wanna encourage those who are very tired already in the teaching profession to hang on and to press on...Don't quit on them ...now...
What Do Teachers Make?
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."
To corroborate, he said to another guest, "You're a teacher, Susan," he said.
"Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a C+ slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."
"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."
"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home."
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids wonder." "I make them question."
"I make them criticize." "I make them apologize and mean it."
"I make them write." "I make them read, read, read."
"I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."
"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart
... and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make,
you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make a difference."
"What about you?"
(Source: http://www.bpsd.org/williampenn/room103/whyteach.htm)
Not really into ego boosting here...but just wanna encourage those who are very tired already in the teaching profession to hang on and to press on...Don't quit on them ...now...
What Do Teachers Make?
The dinner guests were sitting around the table discussing life. One man, a CEO, decided to explain the problem with education. He argued, "What's a kid going to learn from someone who decided his best option in life was to become a teacher?"
He reminded the other dinner guests that it's true what they say about teachers, "Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach."
To corroborate, he said to another guest, "You're a teacher, Susan," he said.
"Be honest. What do you make?" Susan, who had a reputation of honesty and frankness replied, "You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids work harder than they ever thought they could. I can make a C+ feel like a Congressional Medal of Honor and an A- feel like a C+ slap in the face if the student did not do his or her very best."
"I can make kids sit through 40 minutes of study hall in absolute silence."
"I can make parents tremble in fear when I call home."
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make kids wonder." "I make them question."
"I make them criticize." "I make them apologize and mean it."
"I make them write." "I make them read, read, read."
"I make them spell definitely beautiful, definitely beautiful, and definitely beautiful over and over and over again, until they will never misspell either one of those words again."
"I make them show all their work in math and hide it all on their final drafts in English."
"I make them understand that if you have the brains, then follow your heart
... and if someone ever tries to judge you by what you make,
you pay them no attention."
"You want to know what I make?"
"I make a difference."
"What about you?"
(Source: http://www.bpsd.org/williampenn/room103/whyteach.htm)
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Thoughts on the Word that was spoken...
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Photo taken of me by the school photographer during National Day celebrations
That word that was spoken... kept in my mind...I was occupied by it and i think it is really a spiritual experience from God. Considering the fact that brother Terry don't really know me. I went through with God, in my mind, what's the void that he talks about? Why can't I receive God's love? Haven't I been doing all those things? Praying, worshipping God, dun I feel sense of peace? Joy?
I realise now that it is a manifestation of a jealous, bitterness that I build myself up when something does not go my way. I can't forgive, I can't bring love into my heart when I so easily judge people like that and try to be nice to the person, which I immediately discount off as a character which I have perceived it to be.
Yesterday, spent one whole afternoon with Jasmaine...she tried her utmost to ask me forgive someone and to talk more to someone. me being super stubborn, refused to see her point when I was so angry, disappointed with that person. She really hoped that I could speak into the person's life. I kept arguing with her that, well firstly the person must want to talk to me right? How to talk to that person when all the time of that person is spent in another group talking to the person and focusing on that particular person? Yet I am amazed, Jasmaine saw something in me that she felt that I am the best the person to speak into the person's life.
woo hoo...feel the cattiness in me?
I retort, well if that person spent so much time with that person, might as well SHE go and talk to that person. Why me? I am NOT capable...can't talk to that person...WHY SHOULD I EVEN BOTHER AND HELP?
woo hooo more cattiness...woo hooo scary right....I thank God that He sends Jasmaine at this point in time...I think really God, zam His brakes and grabs hold my hand at this very moment...
Ah...God steps in at this point...that person's name pops up EVERYWHERE...in my lesson passages I prepared, in MRT trains, in buses, lorries, in newspapers, that NAME jumps out JUMPS OUT...Okay God...I will stop running away and avoiding ...:S
but why me? I keep asking God?
I have a serious lack of God's love in my heart.
Hmm, this lack of love, has robbed joy, robbed love, my heart arteries has gone through heart bypass. Actually with God's love, everything else will flow in your life. I would first need to receive it first. Praying hard now. I believe, I believe God has brought this word to me because He loves me a lot and wants me to hold on to the promises and that He has mentioned.
Yesterday, I relooked at Phillippians 4:6-7,
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the PEACE of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
THANKSGIVING, PEACE...very simple words
Prayer with thanksgiving to the Lord, brings forth joy and anticipation and trust, you would not be so complaining and bitter and fearful or lamenting...hmmmm
Prayer life that only dwells in the latter will result in disappointment with God that results in an expectation which firstly did not build on trust in God.
Thanksgiving in my prayers...joy will come :) Help me Lord, Help me, Help me, Help me..
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Prophecy and thoughts...
Ah...finally been catching up with Law's , YC's and ppl's blogs...
Most of them blog about the same thing...having time finally to sit down and rest and finally enjoy a quiet afternoon or day off, listening to Praise and worship songs or simply not rush...
A few comments from my loved ones and Dad sparked these thoughts,
Dad ~ "It's been 3-4 years since I last properly talked to you or seen you around at home".
Cousin Zhi Yuan (Whom I am teaching Tuition) - "Wow, Jie3, You seemed to be so busy 24 hours a day!!!"
Truth being, I have not met friends, I have books unread, I have not packed my room, I have not slept, I have not got time to rest for ....yupps they said it years...very disturbing eh?
Don't want my life to be a vicious cycle, as YC as so aptly put in his blog, 7 days a week 2 days for weekends for supposedly "rest" is NOT ENOUGH. More concrete plans would have to be made or they would just slip slip away...
The word through the Holy Spirit which was spoken by brother Terry was so real, last Sunday that it was really sharp. He spoke of patches of darkness and patches of light in my life, caused by fluctuating emotions. Sometimes, I have that mountaintop experience of being excited for God, sometimes, I feel drained, disappointment, loneliness and pain. He urged me to pray and worship the Lord more, that I would receive His love and through it comes the Fruit of the Spirit, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and Self-Control. Do i want to subject myself to the pain and drawl of emotional swings again? sigh...
Prayer, Worship must be essential for a significant change in my life...What am I waiting for?
Praise to the Lord!
Most of them blog about the same thing...having time finally to sit down and rest and finally enjoy a quiet afternoon or day off, listening to Praise and worship songs or simply not rush...
A few comments from my loved ones and Dad sparked these thoughts,
Dad ~ "It's been 3-4 years since I last properly talked to you or seen you around at home".
Cousin Zhi Yuan (Whom I am teaching Tuition) - "Wow, Jie3, You seemed to be so busy 24 hours a day!!!"
Truth being, I have not met friends, I have books unread, I have not packed my room, I have not slept, I have not got time to rest for ....yupps they said it years...very disturbing eh?
Don't want my life to be a vicious cycle, as YC as so aptly put in his blog, 7 days a week 2 days for weekends for supposedly "rest" is NOT ENOUGH. More concrete plans would have to be made or they would just slip slip away...
The word through the Holy Spirit which was spoken by brother Terry was so real, last Sunday that it was really sharp. He spoke of patches of darkness and patches of light in my life, caused by fluctuating emotions. Sometimes, I have that mountaintop experience of being excited for God, sometimes, I feel drained, disappointment, loneliness and pain. He urged me to pray and worship the Lord more, that I would receive His love and through it comes the Fruit of the Spirit, Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and Self-Control. Do i want to subject myself to the pain and drawl of emotional swings again? sigh...
Prayer, Worship must be essential for a significant change in my life...What am I waiting for?
Praise to the Lord!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Singles Q & A
Got this article from Fenn's email. It's really an interesting and wonderful read!
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have not felt freedom in EIGHT MONTHS! Can you imagine? another EIGHT MONTHS of groping in the dark, stubbornly sticking to my old principles. People around me has been really encouraging me, speaking and praying for me in this area of relationships and when they read this you know who you are, I can't thank you enough. You all mean a lot to me. I finally got it sink into my skin!! The Lord loves me and He desires the best, bEST, BEST!! for me!
I will let go, mark these words.. and enjoy the article below :P A highly interesting and worthy read!
Singles Q&A: How Do You Catch His Attention?
Carolyn McCulley
Author & Contributing Writer
Though it was an unusual question, I understood it immediately: “How does a woman appropriately, biblically, humbly, and submissively go about ‘cracking the twigs and stirring the leaves?’ A friend of mine said that it seems like girls end up ‘breaking logs and throwing leaves’ too vigorously at times.”
This woman was not referring to any hiking or forestry activity. She had heard a quote read at a Christian singles conference and she, like several other women, had written me to ask how to apply it. First, some background. The quote read at this conference was from the outstanding book, Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart, by John Ensor:
Brothers, it falls to us to be the initial risk takers in matters of the heart. Headship means being the one to go ahead and ask. It is ours as men to suffer the embarrassment of rejection if need be. It is our role to initiate. Get to it right merrily. We are the hunters. They are the quarry. It is for men to strike out into the forest and look. It is for women to crack the twigs and stir the leaves so we know where to find them.
Ensor wrote this as a humorous touch in an otherwise direct chapter about biblical masculinity. He wasn’t trying to explain anything to women in this chapter—he was addressing the guys and their responsibility to pursue and initiate relationships. Though I searched the rest of the book, there wasn’t any further explanation about this intriguing “twig-cracking” comment.
So I decided to take a poll and directly ask men for some illustrations of attractive “twig-cracking and leaf-rustling” behaviors. What I discovered is that the qualities these men were describing were quite similar to the qualities that the Bible commends for godly wives (see Proverbs 31). That should be no surprise! Here is a quick summary:
1. Smile While You Stir: A cheerful woman is hugely attractive. A self-absorbed, complaining, and moody woman is hard to lead and please. Ask any married man to describe what attracted him to his wife, and among his top qualities will be her smile—hands down. But this is not superficial cheer. It must really be grounded in the next quality. . . .
2. Trust God As You Wait: No man will ever do everything right—not as a boyfriend and not as a husband. The woman who does not expect perfection from fellow human beings, but is learning to put all her trust and faith in her Savior, is much more gracious and patient as “the quarry.” Anxiety, restlessness, and jealous possessiveness will spook the hunters.
“I think that women most effectively ‘cracks twigs’ by seeking to glorify our Savior with their lives,” writes a single guy named Kyle. “This is what draws my attention to a woman. The humility that is expressed in a woman who truly fears our God is what is most attractive. However, please understand that I am not advocating that all women become nuns. All that I am saying is that when a girl is not trusting God with her future, this is most usually seen in her interaction with the opposite sex.”
Trusting God for one gift (marriage) is hard if you don’t appreciate the best gift you will ever receive, though. Which is why the third quality is essential for both trust and joy. . . .
3. Grow in Gratitude for the Gospel: Marriage is a tremendous gift. But it pales by far in comparison to the gift of salvation. It is also a gift that is only for this lifetime. It is an important gift, and one that desperately needs to be esteemed more highly in our generation, but it is only a temporary gift. So we need to cultivate our gratitude for the gospel—that outrageous act of mercy in which Christ took the punishment for our sins on the cross and, in the divine exchange, offered us His righteousness so that we could be reconciled to a holy and just God. Gratitude for the gospel should permeate our lives. When we really grasp that we’re walking objects of mercy, it colors everything we say and do. This is how we can “rejoice with those who rejoice” when we have yet to receive marriage—for we have already received something far more miraculous that we desperately needed.
“SMILE! Your joy and satisfaction is not found in another person but resides only in the Lord,” writes a man named Tim. “Trust me when I say that the guy loves to see a woman smile. This does not mean you should wink at him or laugh at all his corny jokes, but let him see your joy in the Lord.”
4. Pray Before, During, and After You Crack Twigs: Proverbs 30:19 says that the way of a man with a maiden is amazing and wonderful, something too profound to be easily understood. So if Scripture says this is a mystery, why should we expect that some formula or method in the latest singles self-help book is going to solve it? When you think about it, it is amazing that two sinners can be drawn to each other (at the same time!) and then make a pledge to stick it out for the rest of their lives. Frankly, the longer I observe the mystery of marriage, the more I am in awe of God’s sovereign ability to bring two people together. So pray for the gift of marriage for yourself and your friends, pray for the single men you know to find a wife, pray for your pastors and your church to help single adults get married, pray that God will conform you as a fruitful helpmate to your future husband, pray for a humble man who listens for God’s voice—and then pray that God speaks your name to him.
5. Encourage the Hunters: It’s hard to be a godly man in a culture that promotes pornography, violence, and self-centered passivity in men. Give some props to the brothers who endeavor to flee sin and temptation to follow Christ. Even without that outside influence, men have to work hard to trust God and risk rejection when they initiate relationships. So be gracious when you’re approached—this man may not be the hunter you wanted to attract, but don’t shoot him down so hard that he flees the woods. Even if you say no, be kind about it and make it easy for him to keep on hunting. In fact, encourage all the nearby hunters. If you see them selflessly serving others, speak up and thank them. If you see them stepping up to lead a group activity (akin to herding cats at times), voice your appreciation. If they serve you by getting rid of some pesky varmints in your neck of the woods, make sure they hear your “well done.” Your general reputation as an encouraging woman may well draw a hunter from the far side of the forest.
6. Refresh the Hunters: Be a hospitable woman. Cultivate your domestic diva and make your “nest” a place that hunters want to be. You don’t have to have a huge house or even your own house. Just make the place you reside a clean, comfortable and attractive place and then invite others in.
“Create group fellowship opportunities,” says a single man named Ricky. “You can both practice hospitality and get to know people better by inviting people over for a meal, or ice cream, or to watch a movie. Don’t feel bad about including ‘certain people’ when appropriate. And build the friendship—don’t throw yourself at him, but it’s okay to ask him good questions and follow up on previous conversations. Let him know that having a conversation with him isn’t horrible and laborious and you wouldn’t mind having another one.”
7. Be in Proximity to the Hunters But Don’t Scare Them Off: This one requires some finesse—you need your friends and family to help you evaluate how you are doing. Your accountability partners can help you discern your motives and behavior, and will keep you from swinging too far in either extreme—avoiding both aggressive pursuit and fearful hiding. But as a general rule, rustling and crackling are subtle activities. Thus it’s helpful to be within hearing range of the hunters.
“It’s okay to be noticed and approached. It doesn’t mean that you’re flirtatious; it might just mean that your biblical femininity is showing,” writes a single man named Jon. “Live for God and don’t be shocked if a guy or two notices you. That said, there are ladies who are overly friendly and try to make their interest known. Some guys eat up the attention and jump right in, other guys find this extremely unappealing. These ladies aren’t rustling leaves but rather letting out the loudest deer calls they can. Their dress, appearance or social prowess is what primarily brings attention, not their godly lives and biblical femininity. For these ladies, I would encourage them to also not be afraid and to trust God that the right guy will notice them. You may find that more men of godly character come out from the bushes when you become less intimidating.”
8. Follow the Leader: Every herd has a leader. Can the hunters tell if you are a good follower in that herd? A woman who is supporting and submitting to the leaders and authorities currently in her life is demonstrating she possesses wifely wisdom. And men do notice how women respect—and speak of—their pastors, bosses, and parents.
“Do you submit to your father’s leadership or are you constantly dishonoring him?” asks Tim. “Do you appreciate what your mom has to offer and teach you about being a woman? Even if your parents aren’t Christians, you are still called to honor them, and God can still use them in a powerful way to speak into your life.”
Finally, if you find that you’re still a bit lost in the woods, here’s a testimony from a man who married his wife after she spent a few years patiently and joyfully “cracking twigs and stirring leaves.” I think the reflections of my friend, Rob McMillen, will be encouraging to many women:
From the time I graduated high school until the time I asked my wife into a courtship when I was 37 (20 years!), I was faithfully praying to God for a wife and pursuing the women that God had placed in my life. Now some may say that I was deaf and blind because in 20 years I should have heard some “cracking and rustling,” but God had Kelly planned for me and I did not meet her until I was 34. It was not that she was a better rustler than all of the other women I knew or more godly, but she was God’s sovereign choice for me. My wife is a great example of a woman who “cracked twigs.” Here are some of the things that she did:
She prayed for a husband in general, she prayed for me to find a wife (even if it was not her!), and she prayed that God would open a way for us to be husband and wife.
She positioned herself to be in the same places I was, but naturally. Places like our small group, church, group outings, etc.
Whenever we spoke, she listened and responded to whatever the topic was with a genuine interest, even though the topic may not have been her “thing.”
She was an encourager. I can think back to time after time where she expressed an appreciation for how I or another guy led in some small way.
It really gave me a sense that she respected leadership even by a sinner like me.
She and her roommate had people over for dinners, movies, and other events. They practiced biblical hospitality and gained skills in tasks that would be a part of married life.
She was generally warm, friendly, and open. She smiled. She asked for prayer when she was struggling and genuinely asked others how she could pray for them.
I think the key thing that I would say is that she responded this way to most, if not all, of the men she interacted with because it is a picture of a godly woman. What made it different in my case is that she positioned herself to do these more in my presence than with any other man and God opened the door to our hearts.
I trust these insights will be received as intended—with much encouragement for the Christian single women of this generation who live as salt and light in an era of great relationship confusion. We serve the Lord of the hunting grounds. May we “crack, stir, and rustle” for His glory, trusting that He will provide all that we need!
Carolyn McCulley works for Sovereign Grace Ministries in church and ministry relations. She is also an author ( Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred) and blogger (solofemininity.blogs.com). Carolyn is also a member of Covenant Life Church where one of her favorite ministries is the single women's discipleship program. She highly recommends the resources for singles from the New Attitude conference and blog.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I have not felt freedom in EIGHT MONTHS! Can you imagine? another EIGHT MONTHS of groping in the dark, stubbornly sticking to my old principles. People around me has been really encouraging me, speaking and praying for me in this area of relationships and when they read this you know who you are, I can't thank you enough. You all mean a lot to me. I finally got it sink into my skin!! The Lord loves me and He desires the best, bEST, BEST!! for me!
I will let go, mark these words.. and enjoy the article below :P A highly interesting and worthy read!
Singles Q&A: How Do You Catch His Attention?
Carolyn McCulley
Author & Contributing Writer
Though it was an unusual question, I understood it immediately: “How does a woman appropriately, biblically, humbly, and submissively go about ‘cracking the twigs and stirring the leaves?’ A friend of mine said that it seems like girls end up ‘breaking logs and throwing leaves’ too vigorously at times.”
This woman was not referring to any hiking or forestry activity. She had heard a quote read at a Christian singles conference and she, like several other women, had written me to ask how to apply it. First, some background. The quote read at this conference was from the outstanding book, Doing Things Right in Matters of the Heart, by John Ensor:
Brothers, it falls to us to be the initial risk takers in matters of the heart. Headship means being the one to go ahead and ask. It is ours as men to suffer the embarrassment of rejection if need be. It is our role to initiate. Get to it right merrily. We are the hunters. They are the quarry. It is for men to strike out into the forest and look. It is for women to crack the twigs and stir the leaves so we know where to find them.
Ensor wrote this as a humorous touch in an otherwise direct chapter about biblical masculinity. He wasn’t trying to explain anything to women in this chapter—he was addressing the guys and their responsibility to pursue and initiate relationships. Though I searched the rest of the book, there wasn’t any further explanation about this intriguing “twig-cracking” comment.
So I decided to take a poll and directly ask men for some illustrations of attractive “twig-cracking and leaf-rustling” behaviors. What I discovered is that the qualities these men were describing were quite similar to the qualities that the Bible commends for godly wives (see Proverbs 31). That should be no surprise! Here is a quick summary:
1. Smile While You Stir: A cheerful woman is hugely attractive. A self-absorbed, complaining, and moody woman is hard to lead and please. Ask any married man to describe what attracted him to his wife, and among his top qualities will be her smile—hands down. But this is not superficial cheer. It must really be grounded in the next quality. . . .
2. Trust God As You Wait: No man will ever do everything right—not as a boyfriend and not as a husband. The woman who does not expect perfection from fellow human beings, but is learning to put all her trust and faith in her Savior, is much more gracious and patient as “the quarry.” Anxiety, restlessness, and jealous possessiveness will spook the hunters.
“I think that women most effectively ‘cracks twigs’ by seeking to glorify our Savior with their lives,” writes a single guy named Kyle. “This is what draws my attention to a woman. The humility that is expressed in a woman who truly fears our God is what is most attractive. However, please understand that I am not advocating that all women become nuns. All that I am saying is that when a girl is not trusting God with her future, this is most usually seen in her interaction with the opposite sex.”
Trusting God for one gift (marriage) is hard if you don’t appreciate the best gift you will ever receive, though. Which is why the third quality is essential for both trust and joy. . . .
3. Grow in Gratitude for the Gospel: Marriage is a tremendous gift. But it pales by far in comparison to the gift of salvation. It is also a gift that is only for this lifetime. It is an important gift, and one that desperately needs to be esteemed more highly in our generation, but it is only a temporary gift. So we need to cultivate our gratitude for the gospel—that outrageous act of mercy in which Christ took the punishment for our sins on the cross and, in the divine exchange, offered us His righteousness so that we could be reconciled to a holy and just God. Gratitude for the gospel should permeate our lives. When we really grasp that we’re walking objects of mercy, it colors everything we say and do. This is how we can “rejoice with those who rejoice” when we have yet to receive marriage—for we have already received something far more miraculous that we desperately needed.
“SMILE! Your joy and satisfaction is not found in another person but resides only in the Lord,” writes a man named Tim. “Trust me when I say that the guy loves to see a woman smile. This does not mean you should wink at him or laugh at all his corny jokes, but let him see your joy in the Lord.”
4. Pray Before, During, and After You Crack Twigs: Proverbs 30:19 says that the way of a man with a maiden is amazing and wonderful, something too profound to be easily understood. So if Scripture says this is a mystery, why should we expect that some formula or method in the latest singles self-help book is going to solve it? When you think about it, it is amazing that two sinners can be drawn to each other (at the same time!) and then make a pledge to stick it out for the rest of their lives. Frankly, the longer I observe the mystery of marriage, the more I am in awe of God’s sovereign ability to bring two people together. So pray for the gift of marriage for yourself and your friends, pray for the single men you know to find a wife, pray for your pastors and your church to help single adults get married, pray that God will conform you as a fruitful helpmate to your future husband, pray for a humble man who listens for God’s voice—and then pray that God speaks your name to him.
5. Encourage the Hunters: It’s hard to be a godly man in a culture that promotes pornography, violence, and self-centered passivity in men. Give some props to the brothers who endeavor to flee sin and temptation to follow Christ. Even without that outside influence, men have to work hard to trust God and risk rejection when they initiate relationships. So be gracious when you’re approached—this man may not be the hunter you wanted to attract, but don’t shoot him down so hard that he flees the woods. Even if you say no, be kind about it and make it easy for him to keep on hunting. In fact, encourage all the nearby hunters. If you see them selflessly serving others, speak up and thank them. If you see them stepping up to lead a group activity (akin to herding cats at times), voice your appreciation. If they serve you by getting rid of some pesky varmints in your neck of the woods, make sure they hear your “well done.” Your general reputation as an encouraging woman may well draw a hunter from the far side of the forest.
6. Refresh the Hunters: Be a hospitable woman. Cultivate your domestic diva and make your “nest” a place that hunters want to be. You don’t have to have a huge house or even your own house. Just make the place you reside a clean, comfortable and attractive place and then invite others in.
“Create group fellowship opportunities,” says a single man named Ricky. “You can both practice hospitality and get to know people better by inviting people over for a meal, or ice cream, or to watch a movie. Don’t feel bad about including ‘certain people’ when appropriate. And build the friendship—don’t throw yourself at him, but it’s okay to ask him good questions and follow up on previous conversations. Let him know that having a conversation with him isn’t horrible and laborious and you wouldn’t mind having another one.”
7. Be in Proximity to the Hunters But Don’t Scare Them Off: This one requires some finesse—you need your friends and family to help you evaluate how you are doing. Your accountability partners can help you discern your motives and behavior, and will keep you from swinging too far in either extreme—avoiding both aggressive pursuit and fearful hiding. But as a general rule, rustling and crackling are subtle activities. Thus it’s helpful to be within hearing range of the hunters.
“It’s okay to be noticed and approached. It doesn’t mean that you’re flirtatious; it might just mean that your biblical femininity is showing,” writes a single man named Jon. “Live for God and don’t be shocked if a guy or two notices you. That said, there are ladies who are overly friendly and try to make their interest known. Some guys eat up the attention and jump right in, other guys find this extremely unappealing. These ladies aren’t rustling leaves but rather letting out the loudest deer calls they can. Their dress, appearance or social prowess is what primarily brings attention, not their godly lives and biblical femininity. For these ladies, I would encourage them to also not be afraid and to trust God that the right guy will notice them. You may find that more men of godly character come out from the bushes when you become less intimidating.”
8. Follow the Leader: Every herd has a leader. Can the hunters tell if you are a good follower in that herd? A woman who is supporting and submitting to the leaders and authorities currently in her life is demonstrating she possesses wifely wisdom. And men do notice how women respect—and speak of—their pastors, bosses, and parents.
“Do you submit to your father’s leadership or are you constantly dishonoring him?” asks Tim. “Do you appreciate what your mom has to offer and teach you about being a woman? Even if your parents aren’t Christians, you are still called to honor them, and God can still use them in a powerful way to speak into your life.”
Finally, if you find that you’re still a bit lost in the woods, here’s a testimony from a man who married his wife after she spent a few years patiently and joyfully “cracking twigs and stirring leaves.” I think the reflections of my friend, Rob McMillen, will be encouraging to many women:
From the time I graduated high school until the time I asked my wife into a courtship when I was 37 (20 years!), I was faithfully praying to God for a wife and pursuing the women that God had placed in my life. Now some may say that I was deaf and blind because in 20 years I should have heard some “cracking and rustling,” but God had Kelly planned for me and I did not meet her until I was 34. It was not that she was a better rustler than all of the other women I knew or more godly, but she was God’s sovereign choice for me. My wife is a great example of a woman who “cracked twigs.” Here are some of the things that she did:
She prayed for a husband in general, she prayed for me to find a wife (even if it was not her!), and she prayed that God would open a way for us to be husband and wife.
She positioned herself to be in the same places I was, but naturally. Places like our small group, church, group outings, etc.
Whenever we spoke, she listened and responded to whatever the topic was with a genuine interest, even though the topic may not have been her “thing.”
She was an encourager. I can think back to time after time where she expressed an appreciation for how I or another guy led in some small way.
It really gave me a sense that she respected leadership even by a sinner like me.
She and her roommate had people over for dinners, movies, and other events. They practiced biblical hospitality and gained skills in tasks that would be a part of married life.
She was generally warm, friendly, and open. She smiled. She asked for prayer when she was struggling and genuinely asked others how she could pray for them.
I think the key thing that I would say is that she responded this way to most, if not all, of the men she interacted with because it is a picture of a godly woman. What made it different in my case is that she positioned herself to do these more in my presence than with any other man and God opened the door to our hearts.
I trust these insights will be received as intended—with much encouragement for the Christian single women of this generation who live as salt and light in an era of great relationship confusion. We serve the Lord of the hunting grounds. May we “crack, stir, and rustle” for His glory, trusting that He will provide all that we need!
Carolyn McCulley works for Sovereign Grace Ministries in church and ministry relations. She is also an author ( Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? Trusting God with a Hope Deferred) and blogger (solofemininity.blogs.com). Carolyn is also a member of Covenant Life Church where one of her favorite ministries is the single women's discipleship program. She highly recommends the resources for singles from the New Attitude conference and blog.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
周杰伦 - 不能说的秘密
That's the power of music, went to watch the new Jay Chou movie with the Ballroom dancing gang at Causeway Point two weeks ago. Suffice to say I am deeply moved by the movie...OKay prepare for a session of serious gushing over him again.:P
I simply adore him!! No idolatry here...heheh I can hear Fenn's voice telling me its wrong :P Well, he's not a looker but he's certainly very cool and talented. Love his dance videos, his songs, and he most certainly can write the songs well. Coupled with playing the cello, drums and piano. I am so impressed. There was this "battle scene" where he duelled with the Nanquan Mama guy it was so fantastic. His fingers were so deft and the way he moved them over the keys of the piano, I tell you I am once again mesmerised again. There's this charm with this guy la, in fact I have always loved the weirdest of guys. He has this cute smile that makes me melt.
When he played the rendition of The Swan by Saint-Saens and I heard that Sijia Cello Exam piece is also The Swan i went crazy, grabbing at every chance to play the song with her albeit the very sad melody. I was at a frantic craze to dig out my classical scores also like Fenny and start playing them, not to mention hanging out at Music Essentials trying my best to find the scores.
Not bad for a directorial debut, and I think the plot twist is good. I think I should not spoil it for those who wants to watch it. In some form, I can relate to him a bit, not that I wanna brag, but i think I have great parents, we were not so well off in the past but yet they let me learn violin at the age of 3, something like Jay Chou. I was super hyperactive, I climbed windows and sofas and I made my Mum cry a lot. SO music has its healing power to calm me down. How I wished I could have his fingers to play the piano so well! :D
Well, which guy would play a tune and sing for me? I would be so so touched. Advertisement shout-out here...:P
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Birthday celebrations
8th-9th August 2007
I thank God for You have given me LIFE to the FULL,
When I was born, You ordained it already in my mother's womb,
When You looked down upon me that You have created, You have already had plans...
For me to know YOU, to serve You, to love You.
You are pleased, You cherish me, You watch each of my coming in and going out,
When I was on travelling on the roads You were beside me, You stood behind me in every exam! :D
You watched me sleep, You watch me grow, You watch me cry, You make me laugh!
You made in me, a wonderful vessesl, full of gratitude and thoughts of You...
You grant me sweet people, You grant me difficult people, You grant me friends who are always around me, You grant me people who would put up with my mistakes and quirks. You gave me a loving family with loving parents and sisters.. and my auntie,
You grant me people which I love, for 28 years You never fail to amaze me!
You grant me gifts which I have never known, A church which is a home to me, my caregroups which I was and am still in, family.
If only, I only I have known You earlier, I would not have wandered all those years in the dark.
Your words are sweet as honey to my mouth, Your counsel is gentle.
Your caress is soft and Your voice is encouraging and uplifting.
I thank YOU Lord for the times, You were firm with me, You did not let me get what I always want.
You were that Father that I so eagerly desired, You were that light and love that my heart ever so yearns for.
You know my thoughts before they were formed, You know my heart desires.
I give thanks for You have moulded me in my struggles, You never fail to give Your loving arms in Your loving embrace.
You forgave me each and every time.
Lord, make me more loving, make me more serving and humble, make me less judgemental and make me most importantly, more in love with You! Make me a better shepherd,a better teacher and make me a better wife should that day comes :P Help me! Help me! Help me!
This is my prayer to You ...
Lord, this 28 years is Yours, for many more 28 years to come...It will be spent with You! Amen!
:D
Me at Cafe Cartel Sister's CG - Raffles City
Me with the guys of CC and Poy's CG!
My sisters and my cousins, Zhiyuan, Shiyuan and Cheng Yuan at Village the next day!
Taken with my sheep and shepherds :)
My whole family with my uncle and Mum and Dad :)
I thank God for You have given me LIFE to the FULL,
When I was born, You ordained it already in my mother's womb,
When You looked down upon me that You have created, You have already had plans...
For me to know YOU, to serve You, to love You.
You are pleased, You cherish me, You watch each of my coming in and going out,
When I was on travelling on the roads You were beside me, You stood behind me in every exam! :D
You watched me sleep, You watch me grow, You watch me cry, You make me laugh!
You made in me, a wonderful vessesl, full of gratitude and thoughts of You...
You grant me sweet people, You grant me difficult people, You grant me friends who are always around me, You grant me people who would put up with my mistakes and quirks. You gave me a loving family with loving parents and sisters.. and my auntie,
You grant me people which I love, for 28 years You never fail to amaze me!
You grant me gifts which I have never known, A church which is a home to me, my caregroups which I was and am still in, family.
If only, I only I have known You earlier, I would not have wandered all those years in the dark.
Your words are sweet as honey to my mouth, Your counsel is gentle.
Your caress is soft and Your voice is encouraging and uplifting.
I thank YOU Lord for the times, You were firm with me, You did not let me get what I always want.
You were that Father that I so eagerly desired, You were that light and love that my heart ever so yearns for.
You know my thoughts before they were formed, You know my heart desires.
I give thanks for You have moulded me in my struggles, You never fail to give Your loving arms in Your loving embrace.
You forgave me each and every time.
Lord, make me more loving, make me more serving and humble, make me less judgemental and make me most importantly, more in love with You! Make me a better shepherd,a better teacher and make me a better wife should that day comes :P Help me! Help me! Help me!
This is my prayer to You ...
Lord, this 28 years is Yours, for many more 28 years to come...It will be spent with You! Amen!
:D
Me at Cafe Cartel Sister's CG - Raffles City
Me with the guys of CC and Poy's CG!
My sisters and my cousins, Zhiyuan, Shiyuan and Cheng Yuan at Village the next day!
Taken with my sheep and shepherds :)
My whole family with my uncle and Mum and Dad :)
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