Pic Collage from CNY 2007! 18-19th Feb

大年初一 visitation at my Grandma's place, fun times with the cousins and Grandma!

大年初二 和初三 Cross CG visitation from Boon Lay to Kovan! Cc and Poy's group combined...:)

Visit to my Maths Tutor Mr Lee Ngan Hoe's countrylike house!

Tongue in cheek response to Zhu Zhu's blog post on 10 Feb

Well...forgive me all the brothers who are reading this posting! Call me a silly sister or plain jealous all you want...I AM going to illustrate to you how two sisters in a same situation or same place can be treated VERY DIFFERENTLY. For comparisons please refer to ZZ's blog.

Situation 1

ZZ mentioned about Bro TL and Bro TJ helping her hold the handle bars of the bike while she cycled with their help a few hundred meters and yes she feels blessed. Big O me tried to hold her handles also while she tried to cycle, me "kei kiang" weight of the bike too heavy for Big O me, the bike leaned towards me...scratched my legs actually by the bike....and guess what? No one knows...

Situation 2
Same place - East Coast Park
Big O me tried to ask Bro TL and Bro TJ how they travel pillion on the bicycle a la "Tian2 Mi4 Mi4" with Leon Lai and Maggie Cheung. Bro TL and Bro TJ took a long time of persuasion before they could show me how they travelled in a bike tog...Bro TL was not very encouraging when Big O me tried to carry ZZ the same way on the bike...I pushed the bike off with her, its a bit heavy for me..too heavy nearly lost balance and fell off, told Bro TL and ZZ, "I can do it one, let's try again!" Bro TL,"Yeah right you can do it one" very condescending. Big O me refused to give up, tried again...survived and managed to cycle with ZZ sitting in front of me in one bike about a hundred meters with much effort.

Situation 3

At Adele's house, Bro TJ giving out sweet pink looking marzipan cupcakes that had pearls on them, of course its actually decorations on the little cupcake. Big O me was curious and asked Bro TJ," Wah! Looks like decorations ah, jia3 de4(*fake one) ah?" Bro TJ raised his voice at me, "Of course can eat one la!"

Conclusion:

You can be in the same group and same situation, receiving the same thing from the same person...but the degree and level of treatment? Very different.
Of course I dun deny the times when they can be really sweet and gentle when talking to me...but I really can count the times. They can be very sweet to me helping me to carry things for me, but when I compare the way they are so gentle to other sisters and so different towards me, I feel a bit sad sometimes...
Is it me? The way I relate to people, guys in general? Why am I always being treated like that?

渴望有人对我温柔的女生。。。

Last Day at NIE

Yesterday was my last day of lessons at NIE...many thoughts came to my mind, all the kind, helpful and fun-loving frens that I have come to know in NIE, barely a 7-month course before I go for my practicum in Edgefield Primary School. I wonder too to myself if I am proficient enough as a teacher to go out and supposedly impact the little children...haha we were made to sign a letter to our school principals that goes like "I am proficient to teach composition at lower primary level" or "I could teach Grammar with specific strategies" or "I need to observe another teacher at lessons before I could conduct my lessons" some statements with check boxes whereby we are supposed to check beside the correct statements to tell the principal what we are able and good at teaching...
How to send out a letter like that?:P Highly stressful letter man...

I am going to miss them all my NIE colleagues...despite the crazy mad rush of exams and assignments, high tension and high stress levels...I felt good that we made it...
Here's to all my NIE frens and colleagues! Happy Chinese New Year and a wonderful practicum!

Dragged a very tired body to Touch Community Centre. This week is another week of 4 presentations including my Reader's Theatre performance where I played the role of a witch! Valentine's Day, rehearsals, my tooth filling (*ouch*)...stress, emotions cumulated to a splitting headache and acute cramps. I nearly fainted and wanted to hold on to someone and lean on someone's shoulder for rest...there was no one there physically...
I turned to God, I cried out for help, it was shivering cold on stage and I guess those below could not see how our hands were all cold from the blasts of cold air...I was trembling badly to play properly...God came, God soothes and God overcame it all again...

"He rewards those who earnestly seek Him" ~ Hebrews 11:6

I seek You for comfort, for strengthening, when my physical body and tired mind screams out in protest, I could only fall in Your hands alone.. Lord Jesus, hold me lead me and comfort me. You are there when I need You my all sufficiency and all my anguish is in Your hands. HOLD MY HAND when I could not take it anymore, from stress from tiredness, there is joy in the Lord! I rejoice in my weakness cos I know You would be made strong in me!


Our Reader's Theatre team with our English Tutor Dr. Xiao Lan

Me and my sweet fren Mazlin!

Us in action at LT 8 NIE!

Grabbed CC after she came out of lecture for a shot! :P

Questions, Questions...

It's supposed to be E-Learning week for NIE students BUT...we have so many things to do! Project meetings, rehearsals for Reader's Theatre, I have spent on Thursday, close to EIGHT HOURS drawing and colouring and drawing and colouring my props for my Reader's Theatre Performance on Tuesday at NIE..am so tired..Next week's crazy, 4 presentations, plus rehearsals for Chinese New Year service...

I have questions!

Questions for myself and to ask God...

1) When every guy around you treats you like a buddy, and treats you in a very "chor lor" manner, does that mean that the one that sees all this and treats you with much gentleness and respect is the ONE? hehehe...yes he is very wen1 rou2..How far do I want to compromise? I wait in anticipation...

2) What plans does God has for me in this new school? No longer a boys' school but I am sure missing my little boys now...

3)When God places many new people in my life and they warm up almost immediately to me, does that mean I would be shepherd to many more?

4)Should I go for Grade 7 exams this year? Can I afford the time and the dough? at least a few more $K lei...was looking at my CPF statement the other day and saw the EXORBITANT amount of money that I owe the Singapore government or rather my mum, I wanna cry...when I can finish servicing my debt?

ah...questions questions..

David and Pui See's Wedding 3rd Feb 2007

I was very privileged to be able to play violin for two of our Church Planters in Chile, David and Pui See.
It was a very lovely and definitely God-centred wedding whereby you see two people with equal visions and zeal and passion for the lost in the mission field coming together as a couple, definitely the Kingdom of God will be extended to greater extent!

From the praise and worship songs chosen by them, led by Priscilla from NG12, the songs they had chosen, 1 Chinese praise and worship, 2 English songs, Draw Me Close and How Great Thou Art, all sung in at least 2-3 languages, English, Malay and Spanish. It really depicts the couple's wish to be able to touch people from different nationalities and different tongues to hear the Word of God.

I personally was very inspired by their videos where they showed the charity work they had carried out in the land of Chile, the language courses they taught, the Christmas present giveaway, where you see our Church planters dressed up as Santa Claus and singing to the people there...It really takes a great heart for the people to be able to go out of your own comfort zone to touch people of different races.

Ps Dinah shared about how the couple grew to love each other, it was not a typical "I fell in love, or love at first sight" kinda love story, it was thru working together on the missions field when they grew fond of each other and that it was the mutual understanding that God is in the center of their relationship.

At that point of time during the dinner, there were jokes shared on how Pui See told her good friend then that it be IMPOSSIBLE for her to marry David many years ago due to each other's quirky habits. When each couple wrote down what they want their children to inherit on separate pieces of paper, me and another sis joked behind on saying what kinda response they would write, eg looks lah, intellect la...when the emcee finally revealed the couple's separate response, we were all touched and inspired when they had actually written that they want both their children to inherit their heart and vision for God in the missions field.

It was not rehearsed or coordinated kinda response but it really reflects 2 hearts beating as one for the glory of God!
Although it was a small-scale but it was really a cosy wedding by the poolside of Furama Riverfront.
Congrats once again David and Pui See! Thank God for such a godly couple! :D

Photos with the couple are at another cam, sorry yeah?


Dinner tables at the poolside

Me and CC

The cute flower girl Michelle and Page Boy Daniel

Me and Choon Yam

grabbing the two bros, Daniel and Moses for a shot

Posted for Practicum aka Teaching Practice - Edgefield Primary School - Punggol

In pain

I know having a toothache stands at one of the lowest ranks the hall of fame of the different kinds of pain. But I must say that I have not felt so hopeless for a very long time. Before the internet connection goes down I must blog this down.

On Friday I went for my tooth operation, the anaesthetic took one hour and the surgery was a quick half an hour, but after the effects wore off, I was in great pain. Prolly because the tooth had decayed and infected the nerve area.

Moral of the story: Never delay your dental appointment.

I cried myself to sleep, din know I was so helpless, I thought I was garang enough to withstand lotsa injuries, just this tiny toothache has defeated me?
I could hardly open my mouth, being a loud blabbermouth this is tough..I could not chew and till today 4 days after the operation, I am still on liquid food. I can't burst out in laughter like I always do, and face is still swollen...:(

The immense hunger and pain got me depending on GOd more, knowing that it is impossible for me NOT to open my mouth over the weekend with the birthday celebrations and church, having to sing and all...

Today my NIE fren, Mazlin told me she went through the pains of childbirth so her threshold of pain has increased...well, Lord help me then to ease this pain! Thanks for all the bros and sis who prayed for my healing...appreciate it lots!

Argh...

Difficulty in walking...shiong weekend

It really takes sure grit for me to walk around my NIE campus today...super pain!
My muscles everywhere are aching so badly...my legs and arms...

Today my Papa dropped me off at NIE carpark 3 near the canteen, I had to rush to my 830am lecture..then i met the STAIRS. The longest one in NIE yet...I felt like dying...wahhah you know little Mermaid when she had legs granted to her? In the original version she walked as if knives were cutting her feet?

That's exactly how I felt..I hardly had the strength to lift my legs up to the next step! I walked very very slowly around campus today..even standing up and sitting down is a real pain!

Well, I dun need to actually travel around to get hurt:

Situation A:- Fren A: Rachel! Have you zapped the latest readings? (grabs Rac's arm)

Rac: (*wincing in pain, teeth gritted tightly)

Situation B:- Fren B: Rachel! How are u man? (Slaps Rac on her upper arm)

Rac:(grinding teeth...) Aiiiii'm ccccoool.

Situation C:- Fren C: Come sit with us!

Rac: (grabs the chair as if an old lady would for support)OOOOOOkaaaay. Thanks!

Am reconsidering next time if I wanna play two sports - bowling and badminton in one day...This is too much..:P

Bloopers 2

As promised, here's Clip 2 and Clip 3 of "The Fast Forward Challenge"

Bloopers, "Bimbo" Rac

And I thought I had a fair share of my bloopers throughout my life already...until I found this next video of me ...(Warning: The following scenes you are going to watch are going to create nauseatic reactions, Caution to all to prepare paper bags.)

I was reading Ps Jeff's blog entry on his 10th Wedding Anniversary with Claudia. There was a wedding pic of them then...wah... that was just 10 years ago! Dun worry Ps Jeff! You look so much betta now.

This video was created for the NTU Freshmen Orientation of 2002 under the Generation Acts Club Singapore. I was roped in to play the role of Ah Girl in the last minute...gosh, Ps Jeff you thought yours was bad? No worries man, I shrink into horror at my "act cute" moments in the camera. Okay la...definitely much slimmer then...makes you really miss the old school grounds too...
Notable Cameos are AH CHENG!! with some voice overs too, CK (miss ya!) and Daniel with Peiru as the camera woman.

Take cover...you are warned...presenting the first of 3 videos..

Celebrating Sarah...:)

It was a really crazy, exciting weekend. Our dear Ms Lau celebrated her lovely **th birthday on the 13th Jan!

What was really exciting was that it was a themed celebration...all of those ladies who turned up had to wear dresses. I tell you that's really challenging, I hardly had any casual dresses that I could wear out. Still, we had a great time catching up at Waruku Restaurant at StarHub Centre. Superb good food, great company, what else could you ask for?

Really thank GOD for Sarah and Jeannie for these two gal frens/sisters/buddies who have been with me since NTU days...May God watch over our friendship for many more years to come!

We ate and ate, until the waitresses had cleared all our cutlery, still we ordered more sushi, and ice cream, think we were quick to catch the look they all gave us, they must be thinking, "Man can this table of ladies really EAT!!!" Well, after Sarah shared about her aspirations and dreams and of course hehe her criteria...well Non- rich, dashing, young, spiritual guys need not apply...nah kidding la that was from me :P...I am sure God will provide for Ms Lau and to supply all her needs!

We did a few more poser shots, hey its the weekend, stressful already as it is, we are not without our own fair share of troubles and worries, so let loose la...ended the night singing away at KTV...:P

Hahah capitalising my previous experience in the Hall Pageant team, not contestant la, just helping with the makeup, clothes, hair and poses! hehe..Ladies and Gentlemen, there are really certain poses that you can make when you take photos that would really look 1 million dollars better...

Here are some la...presenting the ladies of the night!!

Pose 1
The lovely sweet, Flo with her new hairdo! :D

Pose 2
Sweet demure Jeannie!
Pose 3

The lovely wonderful birthday gal! Sarah!

Pose 4

The usual ah Lian Rac!

Girls all sugar and spice and all things nice! :P

Happy Birthday my dear Sarah! We love you lots! :D

幸福是。。。

我是一个很简单的人。。。所渴望的幸福并不复杂也其实很天真。
往往让我感到幸福的时刻也许在别人的眼里会是些很无聊的事。就说今天吧，当我在准备上学时，我望着我的梳妆台上的首饰， 绝大多数的首饰都是一些好友或亲戚送的。也许我在别人的眼里表现的是一位很爱收集首饰很爱美的女孩吧！

就在这时候，我看到了它。。。

埋没在一个不起眼的角落里，是一条很漂亮很漂亮的项链。我的东西实在太多太乱了啦！
我嘴边露出了微笑。。。

原来， 能戴着一位你欣赏的人所送的项链上街。。。也是一种幸福。。。

:P

Reflections, Resolutions...2007

Read some interesting posts on reflections and resolutions recently around ppl's blogs ...

Why reflect? Why make resolutions? Ppl argue that resolutions are plain routine which ppl make and never set down to do it in the end...for me I do agree that sometimes the decisions and things that I choose to do in the year is really out of my "planned" schedule. Sometimes, things happen, situations put you down or set you in a totally new life station.

I am a person with plans...(I hope) I cannot do something without a plan. Say I can't go on a free and easy trip without plans or the itenary laid before me. I cannot go through a week sometimes without checking my schedules or simply filling it up with many many slots...

Ah...all these have a toll on me...where is the time for God? Where is the time for family and loved ones? I do my review every year and hopefully push myself for greater depths and distances covered, not just for myself but for God.

6th Jan 2007

I heard some news that normally I know I would jump around, wail, fling my arms around and cry. But unusually, funnily, I was really calm. Really calm. Not that its an hardening of my heart..It was the manifestation of my worst fears but GOD has changed me. I did not feel the least bit affected. Prolly the angst of praying through and crying to GOd has come and gone and there's this new level of handling emotions, new level of staying calm and being peaceful with the Lord. I guess its the months of preparation that led me to this stage. Come what may...God seemed to say it with me...

5th Jan 2007

We had met as usual for CG at Ah Cheng's place and our leader Poy-san wanted us to list down our reflections and resolutions if possible for the year 2006 and 2007.

I had some Thanksgiving points too.

1) Jobs - Thank God for all the timely providence in all the jobs big and small. UOB- Bank Analyst, Relief teaching job...all these came to me when I was down and out and had little financial support.

2) My career - Finally settling down in something that I know I would like doing and a fulfilment of my soul. I told J today that "It's not about the money" when he asked me why I did not take up music professionally where I would have a chance to earn big bucks.
Its being personally there at ground level by working with children that I know it would really change my viewpoint. This job is for me....:)

3)Missions Trip to Jakarta - Exposure to missions work and working in a team which I have not worked before, sharing to people of different culture.

4) Able to serve God in major church events :- Church Anniversary, Corp. Prayer Meet, Church Camp, Christmas services.

5) Played for my friend's wedding - very first Jazz band experience.

6) For my sheep Zhu Zhu for committing back to church.

7) Influx of new life into our group, Jason, Wils, Joe, Qiuping, new dynamics in the group, our group has certainly more life and fun filled days.

8) Thank God for Godly shepherds! CC, Kim

9) Thank GOd for our mini string orchestra! Shen Teng and Sijia!

10) Bonuses and pay increment! :)

11) Able to run and train for Stand Chart run!

12) ALL the trips and hols! Sarawak, Taiwan, Jakarta...:P

Things which I could improve ah...these would be compiled in the CG list...

1) Be more active in sharing my faith - Sharing the Gospel to friends and family, this is something very important, if you dun start with the close ones, where else?

2) Be more spiritually disciplined in praying and reading the Bible.

3) Be more spirt Controlled, slow to anger and temper, "volume" control according to Poy, develop gentleness, <- God's definition ...:P

4) Do Bible study of at least one book every two months using Study Bible helps.

5) Be faithful in follow up, planning lessons and sharing to sheep.

6) Get to know more friends, get out of my comfort zone.

7) SAVE MONEY!! See at least $2K more into my bank Account this year...:P

8) Exercise regularly and lose weight! wahahahahah...

9) Improve my communications with my family members, sisters and parents, spend more time talking to them.

10) Be more meticulous in my work in dedication to planning for lessons, teaching materials for the kids that I would be teaching...

11) Be more controlled in speech, less curt more love, that's my tag line for this year...:P

Any more inputs? Feel free to give suggestions...:P

wah.wah wah. School starts tml wor...

Thanksgiving to the Lord!

This is my prized certificate...I fought very hard for it...its my Violin Exam Certificate! (Which cert were u thinking of eh?) I passed my Violin Exams in the midst of preparing for Church Anniversary, My crazy workload and preparing for the pieces which drove me crazier some more last year...2006.

Year of many breakthroughs..God brought me through it, time and again He brought me through the stress the uncertainty and once again proven that In all things God works for the good of those who love Him. Unworthy as I am of His love, His hand is there to help me again...

Yupps this is another motivation for me to strive to higher grades, more genres of music, better skills...

THANK YOU LORD!

Met an Angel!

Just yesterday..the first day of year 2007, our group decided to meet at Shi Ming's place for cook-out and KTV.

I was late for the gathering and super lost and had wandered around Smith Street in Chinatown for a good half an hour thinking to myself: "Where in the world is Blk 335B Smith Street?"

Wondering up and down the streets...334, Blk 4 (which is very near Fairfield Methodist Church le), Blk 335, Blk 335A...Where in the world is Blk 335B where Shi Ming stays?

Then, i finally wandered to CK department Store and I met....HIM.

There's this old man, I have never met him or talked to him before in my life... the moment i crossed the small railing into the corner, he saw me, its rather immediate, i was looking at my handphone...he turned and smiled at me, "Miss, this is block 335 are you looking for Blk 335?" Can you imagine the shock i have? How can someone read your thoughts like that? I nearly freaked out.

Then he went ahead asked directions for from the nearby fruits stall and pointed me to the correct direction, he even walked with me for a while to make sure I got it right...

I was lost for the second time turned back and saw him again at that same place he asked me if I could find the block again..this time round I found the block FINALLY.

WOW.

Amazing.

"Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it."
~ Hebrews 13:2

Still blows my mind...

指甲油

就是为了一双新买的鞋子，我再脚上涂上深红指甲油以及花边图案。。。我何时变得那么注重自己的脚指的模样。。。

Pics of Christmas 2006!

3 girls, one most "romantic" night at Changi Beach...

It was one of those days, last Thursday 14th Dec when I decided to have a "chiong" night out with SR and JN. This is so farnie.. a rare chance that I can "jaga" my dad's car and go for a spin. The last time we did that we had so much fun at Serangoon Chomp Chomp where we stuffed ourselves silly.

As usual I was lost again...can never get to JN's place without making a Tour de Tampines and Bedok and Jalan Ubi...yes, I am bad at directions.

Finally got all the lovely ladies in the car, my dear SR was hysterical with laughter at my bad sense of directions and called up JN to complain!! gosh....help me la...I had a wild idea...would drive the girls to Changi Village before driving them to the favourite spots where I used to go for "par tor"(dating). Hahah those were the years man! After a lovely dinner of XO bee hoon and fried san1 lao1 my favourite, we picked up some drinks at Cheers and there we were 3 farnie girls heading for the beach.

I took SR and JN to the spot along Changi beach whereby the planes will fly overhead of you when they are about to land...yes that spot was where I used to go with my past boyfriend years ago. It was a very clear night and we could actually see many stars! Occasionally there were a few shooting stars in the night that left JN and me in awe. Must recommend you all this place at night near the Army jetty, think the guys will know..before you all set off to Pulau Tekong...the planes look like UFO's hovering over the sea in the distance and when they are about to land the whole aircraft will light up like a space ship and fly directly over your head!

SO farnie....our dear SR was not to be romanced in such a manner...she yawned, she went, "You sure that was a shooting star???" To which my explanation is, to people who do not believe in miracles and wonders of nature, you gotta use really down to earth explanation,"OOh that was just a seagull flying very fast past the sky!!!"

As we joked about how easy i was "deceived" by those guys with bikes or cars in the past, actually dating in the past was, I felt rather silly...In your teenage age years you talk about, loving each other forever, you talk about non sequential stuff, such as, "Why do you love me?" , "Am I pretty?", "Are you jealous?"...etc...nothing to build up the other person but just a temporary ego boost. I know many people will disagree with me but how many times have I fallen into the trap of being rather surface in my liking for the person?

Surface? Broad word, for example, "Oh he shares the same interests with me, I think I like him!" , or I go, "Oh, he's sooooo talented!", "He's so cute!"...traps, that are so shallow that I am unable to see beyond the beauty of the person's heart or spirit. Oh that it felt good to have someone to hold your hand again!! I have read quite a number of dating and relationship books and I really think that what matters in a person is really the mind and the heart for God. Can I build up the person? Can I help the person grow closer to God? Am I too dependent on the person that the person cannot seek God? How much does he love God and His word? In the process, I myself must first draw so much closer and intimate with God and before I know this is the person for me.I fell so many times, yet this simple truth from God is so hard to grasp...I am not picky, not too high standards....hahah the ONE has not been revealed yet...

Being single is not easy especially when I get invited to many weddings a year plus invited to play violin in a couple more weddings. Not that I am complaining, its a blessing to be invited, but I do admit that the loneliness do get to me. When's my turn? When's my season under the sun? heheee...I worry, I get frustrated, I get sad...

It's tougher when you have relatives who cannot stop poking at your hurts when they argue that you are too picky in choosing one, you are too fat, too ugly..etc just to name a few la..Dun they understand the power of waiting for the ONE? I can't just take the whole Gin Gang of guys right? These times of struggle are never easy. I keep my mind occupied more with things of Him our Lord Jesus, in perfecting my music skills, in praying more for help and His grace in my life and also most important to help me be strong.

Temptation comes but like a fleeting wind which brushes past your hair and your face... you do not know it but it has already touched you...
*** *** ***

I drove SR and JN along this lovely stretch of the road beside the airport runway where I rolled down the car windows and drove at cruising speed...it was simply lovely...

Lord, help me to be strong when all pressures of the world engulf me. Help me believe in the power of trusting and waiting on the Lord and believe in that You Lord is preparing the one for me if it's Your will. Yet, in my weakness Lord I ask that You will use me, use my hands, to do Your work, give me a bigger heart to love my friends, give me a bigger burden for my lost family and friends. I am treasured, cos I know You treasured me. I am precious cos I know that You Lord would stop at nothing but the best for me. I lay my anxiety, worries and hurts in Your hands.
This is going to be a different year for me Lord ...I know it! Amen!

Taiwan Trip Part 2

When we say GOD is SO GOOD! This phrase never fails to reveal to me what new perspectives of how good GOD is to us.

There is always this period of dryness in any ministry, any person who serves for quite some time and you do not see fruits you get discouraged and disillusioned..

Friends may not respond to you or even want to hear about the reason for your faith in Christ..You feel down, you wanna cry, the people you are overseeing hurts you, you get struck by worry, you struggle to want to let go the problems to go, you want to give up...you see no one running the race with you in something that you are really passionate about, they cannot relate to you why you share so enthusiastically on the things you are willing to sacrifice your time, money and effort into to see that it comes to past...

We all do have that "down" period of times don't we?

That's when I know I gotta slow down and pray, seek God...Do I rely on GOd's standard and timing or on my own? The bible says in Ecclesiastes, there is a time for everything, a season for everything under the sun, and that God's ways are higher than our ways. I fail to understand God too, so the taking a break off everything, to seek God and to ask Him about the purpose about why i am doing all these things healed me.

This trip is definitely therepeutic. I asked God to heal my hurts, tears just flowed, I asked God to give me the grace to love and to forgive despite all the hurts, I marvel at the wonders of His creation and the magnimity of all things including nature. When I saw the sights I saw I was amazed at how once again the simple things of life could actually bring much joy.

This trip has been been a blessing right from the start. Rach Lee had won a Zuji Travel voucher for a trip for 2 to HK which we later change it to Taiwan! Blessing one.

Blessing two. We met all the Hope Taipei bros and sis and they really took so good care of us.

Blessing lost count.. I saw how warm the Taiwanese people are, although I really must say that they way that they "teh" guys and girls alike make me cringe. The shopkeepers will cling onto your arm to thank you for shopping at that place, they like to add a "oh1" at the end of their sentences, they are so civic minded! Students would spring up at their feet when they see elderly board the MRT or bus. No questions asked and they disappear way down into the carriage in their shyness.

There was this one incident which really touched me. There was a group of Koreans sitting near us on the train when one of them started to break out in cold sweat. This father of 3 young girls stopped what he was doing and muttered in his broken English, "Are you okay," to him. Rach Lee helped to translate between the both groups of people what happened and that the guy wanted to help. The Taiwanese father actually wanted to offer the Korean some medicated oil!

Can you imagine such scenes ever happening in Singapore? I was told in horror that Rach had a fren's fren who fainted on the MRT and NO ONE tended to her until she woke up!

They can be so satisfied with the little things in life. All over the places there are night markets when simple games are played such as street basketball, fishing guppies off a small net, shooting water balloons, the Taiwanese crowd all these stalls from playing at these games. I wonder if I had lost in my world of hectic schedules to really appreciate that such simple games could actually bring much joy such as theirs.

Their service is TOP NOTCH! I was at this information counter at Cheng2 Pin3 Bookstore or Eslite BS where I was searching for some Goong1 comics and a particular book by a Chinese author. It was a busy time, the guy there just dropped what he was doing and helped me search all the books I wanted!I was lost in the sections all written in majority traditional chinese.. wow! He even went down to the basement to search the books for me! Many places I went, the people were so service oriented and they were smiling and sincere. Your time and your comfort is important to them as it is important to you.

Hahah i rem we made a joke once among my fellow teacher trainees, what is the most common thing you hear from the service staff in any retail store, say a clothes store and you want to ask for sizes? "IT's ALL THERE ON THE RACK HOR!"

OKay la, we can't compare but it is really the upbringing. Oh yeah one more thing, at the MRT, people actually QUEUE to go into a train! You would get really rude stares if you dun do so and on the escalator, lines are drawn in the middle such that people would have to auto keep right for people to overtake on the left! I remember those times i dread weekends where I had to put my bag in front of me as protection before I can squeeze out of the Singapore MRT or risk get trampled!
wahaha..

Such small things in life...such little wonders that the Lord has shown is to help me see that I am living in too comfortable living conditions that I dun appreciate what I actually have here.
People we are just so so small in this vast world...

Finding God's purpose in my life could be a lifelong process but I am willing and glad that the Lord has placed me here. As Pastor has shared there's a reason for our being here. We are significant.

Recharged , Refreshed, Renewed mind.

READY!

clockwise from TOP LEFT: Hope Taipei bros and sis, Miramar Ferris wheel, YE Liu rock formations, Chang Kai Shek Memorial Hall

Chang Kai Shek Memorial Hall - lovely flowers at the park.

Strong winds at Ye Liu.

Scenic views from the train on the way to Hua Lien. My favourite shot from this trip! :D 

Taiwan Trip Part 1

Was really looking forward to this trip...although it went through many hiccups in the planning and eventual setting off...I am glad that I am flying off after all. But sad to say...I have to forgo the Stand Chart Run that I trained so hard all these months!!!!! *sob* SOb*! The flights were all full and there was no way I could change the flights....

Badly wanted to go on a Sabbatical....too many things happened in the past one year plus months and weeks of sleepless, restless nights...enough is enough...I need a break or I will go crazy. Being rather high-strung, I find it hard to let go and relax sometimes...I would try to do something, I would attempt to try to solve things myself...there it was..red warning light from God...I gotta rest and see the world...get my perspectives renewed.

God never let you go.

No matter where you try to hide, He speaks to you, He makes sure you get it. NO matter the language. I was amazed myself at the Hope Taipei service where dear GOd spoke to me to love despite all the hurts and unforgiveness I am facing as a follower of Christ. The praise and worship, sermon, even the Bible was in Traditional Chinese, "fan2 di4" but the LORD spoke....He spoke right into my heart...it was simply beautiful...the next thing I knew I stood up...vision blurred by tears...

God soothed me and made me realise His awesomeness through this trip and I encourage all to really travel to if possible go for missions to experience the different lifestyles and culture of people around the world. Once again I was touched by the things and sights that I saw.

You gotta try travelling. Not too often la...hahah once in while is good...

Poy prayed about us meeting new friends, indeed the trip is blessed with many friends, friends from different nationalities..on the flight to Taiwan, I met a Taiwanese man, named Daniel Kuo, train to Hua Lien, I met Myong Sook, a Korean gal travelling with her parents, on the flight back I met Mr Tan, a filter company co-boss..

It's amazing how God placed people beside me when I was wanting to rest and relax. I din get to sleep much despite my heavy head and droopy eyes! The people just appeared out of nowhere and I chatted with them for hours!!! Gift of missions? Amen?

More testimonies coming up...watch this space

 

First night at Taiwan! Shilin Night Market...met up with How Joo, CK, Peiks and Emma!

 

Striking a "model" pose at the Taipei subway...wahahahaha...its cold!

 

Eating Ma2 La4 Huo3 Guo1 with Hope Taipei bros and sisters, Sister Jessica, Pastor Maria, Bro Caleb and sis Stella!

 

Lovely view of the night sky after our HotSpring Bath at Yang Ming Shan! 

Pic Collage of Taiwan Trip 2nd Dec to 8th Dec 2006

 

Went for a mini "Sabbatical" trip with Rach Lee to Taiwan and came back just last night before starting my whirlwind kinda life in Singapore again..Those 7 days were definitely well spent, refocusing and recharge before embarking on another round of activities and much performances and services. Shall blog more soon...watch this space... 

Refreshed Rejuvenated Recharged Ready for Battle!

Sleep deprived...lying in bed till late..

3 a.m.

4 a.m.

5 a.m.

Mind full of thoughts of...things...

God, You prompt me to wake up and pray...I humbly submit to Your will...

How long more, God?

It's been days, nights and hours end on end...

Pray with a glad and sincere heart...

How do I leave...?

Do I go....?

...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

Pics of my "idols" continued...

 

Hugh Jackman, ah, another fine gentleman, our dear Wolverine! He cuts a very suave and dashing image whenever he's on screen. A real eye candy!

 

Dr. Vivien Balakrishnan! I actually shook hands with him once! I rem it was one of those Generation Acts Club activities when we invited him to Orchard Hotel for a Youth Forum. Those who can rem that event that's in 2003! I admire his charm and cause for youth development.

 

Wang Lee Hom, I listen to a lot of R & B songs and he is in the same ranks as David Tao and of course Jay Chou! I told my sis once, you just have to look at his profile and he's so good looking! A very talented guy, plays at least 5 instruments I heard.

 

Jay Chou! Jay Chou! Am crazy over him. I think I blogged about this before. Yes, he's the typical "beng" but he's cool.:P Quite a character la this guy, been asked this question by Mr D before if put Wang Lee Hom and Jay Chou together which one would I pick? I told him Jay Chou of course! although Lee Hom would probably talk to me more la....

Okay one of those bo liao posting...:P Trying to boost myself a bit la... 

Pics of my "idols"

Thought this is rather farnie after WAM music practice that night when IZ blurt out to Fenn, "You all are too into idolatry!" Such a strong word! :P We were teasing him about why the WANG LEE HOM CD was so wet after he came out of the washroom...the gals all complained that IZ did not know how to take care of the CD.
OKay....shall post about my past "idols" when I was growing up...some of them still make me goo-goo ga ga over them la...Jesus for example...:D

in the 1980s
 

Who could forget Aaron Kwok? My pri sch and sec school craze... I searched the Net for the old pic of him! haha i think the signature hand gestures "dui ni ai ai ai by waaaaan" still rings among all of us.:P

 

Jin Chen Wu, Takeshi Kaneshiro. Wah this guy still makes me smile la, Can you all believe it? I have caught most of his movies, all the Jap Dramas...be it they are flops or not.His features are so pretty! :P

 

Kimura Takuya, yeah another Jap guy, was a super Jap drama fanatic! Watched a lot of Jap drams and listened to SMAP songs then back in early uni days la...You all know that "SMAP" stands for "Sports and Music Assemble People"?

 

Anthony Hopkins! This guy is a classic. I love the way he speaks, very gentlemanly, very "English" loved thespian actors, they really can put in emotions and expressions into their work. Weird taste I have...

To be continued... 

Christmas is coming! My favourite time for the year..:)

To You Alone

This is another gem, we have not sung it before, from the Hillsongs Album "For All You've Done" Disc 2

This song really spoke to me a lot recently and been singing it quite a lot...enjoy!

To You Alone
Reuben Morgan

Key: G
Verse 1:
D/C C G/B
Every knee will bow
D/C C G/B
And every tongue con - fess
Bb F/A
Jesus Christ is Lord
Dsus D
Lord and King


Chorus:
G Cmaj7
All glory to Your Name
Am7 D C/G G
All honor to Your majesty
D/E Em Asus A
Forever Forever
G/D C Dsus D
All praise to You alone


Verse 2:
Every eye will see
And every heart will know
The beauty of the Lord
And all the earth


Other:
D/C C G/B D/C C G/B Bb F/A Dsus D


Ending:
G/B C D
All praise to You alone

©2003 Hillsong Publishing (Admin. in U.S. & Canada by Integrity's Hosanna! Music)
All rights reserved. International copyright secured.
CCLI song #4257796

NIE class outing

 

Picture of some the gals from my English SK class!

 

The group of NIE trainees who went down Sentosa 20th Nov 2006! Exams over! 

Measured against a yardstick

I think we all suffer sometimes a bit of the being "judgmental sickness".
I have a lot of expectations on my family members, my sistas, my close friends and sometimes, when they say or do something that's out of my familar "yardstick of tolerance" for them, I get hurt and upset.

I get frustrated when my mum expects a lot out of me especially now I am hardly at home, sometimes she just demands that I spend more time with her which I could already hardly draw out time to sleep. I have tried to make it home at least two nights a week for meals just to spend time with her and I have to admit, its really tiring...sometimes just don't know how to please her. That already is measuring my mum against some standard that I have, place her on the hot seat, argue that she's not caring enough for me...

My "judgmental sickness" shows up again among my close frens, when every word they say are weighed on my personal scale. Recently some events, over things some close fren had said to me in the face got me so upset and heartache that I begin to wonder, Have I been measuring my friends with the same yardsitck too? How do I measure the expectations on myself then? Am I too relaxed with myself and strict with others?

After service today, our group went out to watch "Casino Royale" and sat down at a Kopi Tiam for drinks...the group whose majority was made up of guys went one round of talking about the kinda gals that they cannot stand, cos we were on the posting of my blog on guys...

I fit into all their descriptions of girls that they cannot stand! wahahahahaa...

Loud.

Chor2 Lor4

Squeaky.

Not wen1 rou2.

Just to name a few la...the most they say, the more I sink into my chair... Not to say that I am wanting to be in their good books la, but I really feel that I am being too judgmental on others, how I view others is not the same that I view myself... double standards la...I can be so harsh on the people I love and those who love me but NOT on myself. Everything I do seems to cover up neatly.

Lord, I pray for You to help me see people through the eyes of Love that You hold. Help me to exercise my grace on others and to put my loved ones and friends through Your yardstick and not mine alone. Help me not be so judgmental and cynical and so harsh with the people around me. Guard my tongue, my speech, my actions that the people around me would not be hurt or disappointed. Help me to love, love with the same love cos You first loved us.Unmask and unscale my eyes from my coloured and narrow vision and replace them with a new perspective that You want me to see.
I pray for Your forgiveness to me when I judge and hurt people. I pray for Your Holy Spirit to guide and lead me. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

Absolute Zero

This must be one of the low points in my life.

In the past two months since Oct-Nov, I don't know how many times I have shed tears over people, over school, over situation.

Do they care that you shed tears for them? Only God is the Comforter really.

Heartache.

Pain.

Dizziness.

MISUNDERSTOOD!

Mostly heartache - cos the pain is so great that you can't treat it physically - only by prayer. Prayer for God to heal and to soothe...

God help me!

GOT Challenge?

Sigh...finally I am in a mood to blog this down...got this challenge sometime back din have time to write it down...read Tricia's and IZ's blogs about guys and girls...GOt a challenge from IZ about what about guys that make me mad...okay I am so going to get rap from the guys reading this blog also...but only my personal comments la...hope you all dun mind...

What are the few things about guys that makes me mad / cannot stand??

Okay...before I say anything...I am not perfect also, I am loud, terribly loud, chor lor, not exactly a girl, more a guy-girl kinda person, I have my bad points too...my dad la, brought me up to be tough like a guy :P So there are also people and events in my life that shaped me to who I am today..I have ideals also...ideals of what a guy should be like...so here's really what makes me tick:-

Brace yourself.

I cannot stand it when guys:-

1) Are TOTALLY UNgentlemanly

I mean, these are the folks who fight with ladies literally up the buses, MRT, lifts. They do NOT give way even though you may be lugging an instrument, carrying a kid, lotsa books or groceries, I have seen it myself, This guy on the MRT saw this poor pregnant lady walk in and immediately "fall asleep" AWWW come on!

Do you really need to be first up the bus or MRT? How heavy is the lift door or door that you can't hold it for us when you go out? sigh...No la, I am not asking you to help me carry things when you see me lugging many stuff, but i feel that its really basic courtesy to help us get that door? aiyoh....

Oh yeah, another trend... you want us to follow you when you lead the way, please walk slower. No, i do not wear high heels, we do walk slower so if you really need to be in the lead, please walk slower, how can we know where are we headed if you guys are leading 30 yards away? Not everyone has a longer perspective like me being quite tall...

Singapore guys...must work harder, I share from a personal experience, there was this "ang moh" one fine day I was taking a cab to church, he was in the cab paying for the fare before I got on. He got outta the cab, smiled a big smile at me, "Good morning!", opened the cab door for me to get on and closed the door for me!

That's Gentleman-liness 101 for you! Look,I don't even know him!
I rem that particular service I kept smiling thru and thru...:) lil' acts of kindness la...

2) Are totally indecisive

This point I echo Tricia's comments. Please do make decisions on your own also. Some ladies in general already cannot be the decision maker around, so I believe that's what God has called man to do, to lead the woman! OK, if you want us to give opinion or suggestions to what to wear, or what to eat for example or what hair colour to put on, we would give you our two cents worth. Please don't get mad or irritated when we choose something that is totally off what you think and that you may have already decided upon in the first place? Then again, you already went one big round to justify what you have already decided in the first place, then sorry ah may I ask, why still ask us? Sigh...

3) Have little habits that stick to them , even in public

OK, everyone has habits, this i agree, I was a cleanliness freak until God changed me! wahhaah...I have seen guys, picking their noses, digging their ears and yes, scratch.....that was the ultimate! I was an Usher in Hope for a good 4 years plus before moving on to the music ministry. Those early days I really struggle shaking hands with so many ppl at one go! You have clammy hands, wet hands, sticky hands, you name it yupps I have shaken them all!
Like I said, everyone can have these habits,me included, please restrict the display of these habits to the washroom? Thanks...and oh yeah, wash up after you are done...:)

4) Have an ego so big that it hurts people

Face it. Guys do have an ego. Not all guys are exertive and being too ego-istic. But they do have it. Sometimes in an argument, when things do not turn out your way, not by our doing of course or when it turns out that you are in the wrong, please do not argue that you are right or there's a better way to do it, or we should have gone around and do it your way. Most of the time, we do not want to win that argument, we just want to hear you say "Sorry, I have raised my voice..." or simply just "Sorry". Many times, we are more hurt by the guy trying to exert their rights over the matter that we could keep silent over it.

Does it hurt so much to really apologise? We get more mad in the process when that happens when a guy insists of getting his point across...most of the time for me la, I would just turn away and switch off.

5) Another aspect of the guy's ego is the inexplicable nature of wanting to impress.

Aiyee..I get my hair stand when I see one like that. I dunno, call me weird but I not impressed by how well you can speak that language, or your business accolates, the list of achievements you have, how well you dress, the who's who that you know...just to name a few..

What I really do appreciate in a guy is his quiet spirit,humility, the depths and maturity of his mind over matter. His talents could be seen screaming from his very being - yet, he does nothing to accentuate it. Believe me, there are guys like that. THAT is impressive. Am still bowled over by them when I see them around...heee heee...

6) Think they are every girl's dream guy / resident hunk

Still on ego.

I can't help but keep smiling at this next comment, but there are guys who think that they are every gal's dream or resident hunk and they believe it. They go around chatting up with girls, turn on the "impress mode" and gets really hyped up with getting their attention. I do admit that some of them are really good looking but sad to say...it does't work for me.

I always tell my group's guys, its not the looks or how big your muscles is. What girls look out for is the sincerity and pureness of the heart. You don't have to look like Takeshi Kaneshiro (Jin Chen Wu) or Brad Pitt to get the girl's heart. God will make you shine in front of THE ONE...:P

7) Are very impatient

I am someone who can be quite slow in articulating myself especially when I make decisions,other times I can be quite a fast-talker. I talk a lot of incoherent things. I take time to decide and take time to walk from Place A to B.

Let's take shopping for example.We ladies like to shop around for a particular good, comfy pair of shoes before we buy them. We compare prices, we listen to comments, we would want to try out different varieties of shoes...that's an example of how we make decisions, using a graphic representation la.

Be patient okay? Good things come to those who wait...

I think I shall stop here for today otherwise I would not hear the end of this. I have to add that NOT all ladies are what I have described above. We are all very different.

Now these are what make me tick! Right back at ya, IZ! :P

It's over...

Thanks those for coming down , Zhu zhu and Law, CC, GR and the rest, Pam for praying...:)

Love you guys!

A humanitarian approach towards Euthanasia?

It was actually a very fun-filled and joyous day with much laughter and salt water after our unit event at Sentosa Palawan Beach.

I got home only to hear from my dad that my uncle is terminally ill with lymphatic cancer and he is given only a few days to live...The depth of the severity of his condition only then sank in. I was afraid. This is like close to immediate family already and my parents especially my dad was really affected and sad. I was at a loss...another wave of hard testing again, I called my UL GR for help. My uncle could only speak Cantonese and Hainanese, me my broken Canto cannot even buy me a bowl of noodles let alone share Christ..sigh... GR was very kind to offer to go down with me to pray for him, but after much deliberation from my mum and struggling the whole night without much sleep...I think it was best that I went alone...

On the way to service, I had prayed,"God how? My uncle is not saved! My Cantonese how? God...help!" I prayed for my uncle's salvation and for God to speak to me how I should go to pray for my uncle or not, despite knowing i would definitely get the brunt of all the persecution and condemnation if I go and pray boldly for him. God gave me this verse:

"Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive from him everything we ask, because we obey His commands and do what pleases Him."

~ 1 John 3:21-22

I knew it was God's confirmation for me to go ahead and pray in courage and boldness.
I went there, I was surrounded by relatives, there was not a quiet moment, I kept praying in my heart. Then suddenly, I was alone with my uncle and another cousin, I know that I have only moments to act...

I laid my hands on his hand, "Gu Jeong, (Uncle) wo hai Da bao...(I'm Dabao, my baby moniker)" I prayed in my heart for God to speak to him in his head, let him hear God's voice, cos what I witnessed was so heart wrenching...tubes all stuck to him, life support system...the signboard which read "NOTHING by Mouth" loomed over his head, I nearly cried. His head was turning left and right, eyes tightly shut, mouth open gasping for air, hands struggling to take off the tubes...Sometimes, when you see your loved ones, fighting to live on struggling with so much pain, I began to think that euthanasia is really humanitarian after all, all the rounds of chemo and treatment only caused more and more pain on my uncle. I prayed also for God take away his pain...

I prayed. I prayed silently for God to help him respond to me if my uncle could hear His voice and respond to me so that I could share more for his salvation. There...it happened...for that moment 10 seconds, my uncle opened his eyes turned his head and looked at me, with tears in his eyes, he turned to where I was standing....just as I finished praying...that 10 secs...I knew God was speaking to him..to me it was really a moment with him and God....i was shocked and stunned....then he went off again...i lost him in his semi-comatose state...

It was only 10 seconds, but to me it was a great leap of my faith level and the trust to just take God at His word and follow.. I was amazed at what God can do...
I hope that I would have a chance to see my uncle again and ask God for His grace to help me pray for his salvation...I have only that much time...

Pray with me please...

Take it to the Cross of Jesus

Met up with a long lost friend today, AS. It was a really good time of catching up and sharing. Remember those days early this year when I was still working in Shenton Way , we used to have lunch together every other day. This time round I saw her, my heart melted...she lost so much weight that at least to me her face seemed to sink in! Remnants of a really pretty face still remain..but what I saw was a face washed with tears, hurts, stress and hardship from the past 6 months since I last saw her.

Was pretty worried when she din contact me after I sms-ed her a birthday greeting. After we were seated comfortably did all the pouring come out. She was really broken and hurt inside. It's been years of accumulated hatred, hurt and unforgiveness that formed her from what she is today - a hardened heart.

She tried to put up a brave front still smiled and joked a lot in front of me, but the crunch time came when I asked her about her work...there torrents ran down her cheeks... AS could not take the pressure from work and hurts from her family that her sharing kept going back to the unfair treatment that she felt, the hurts that her family caused that she had began to question herself deeply, "Why am I working so hard for?" Stress and dejection really broke her when she realised that all in all she was really empty inside despite being in a high paying job and in high profile in the corporate world.

I assured her that she's really established as a career woman. "Rachel, you do not see what goes on inside, all the hurt and pain..." AS went on and on, so many times she cried over past hurts that her family has caused her, so many times she cried over the job that's wearing her down...

"AS, in our down times, do not let the devil have a foothold!" I keep praying for this friend, this deep cut inside that causing so much pain, the incident that fateful night one year ago at home that caused her to move out of her home, I pray that the Lord will hear her cry and heal her of her hurts. Questions came up on whether I hated my parents, which i told her in the past yes, I did, parents like humans are fallible, they did many unfair things and also hurt me, which I told CC the other day, the unspoken anguish that sometimes as firstborn that you have to carry... but its the forgiveness that brought me freedom, me finally putting down all the scores against my parents that once brought pain into joy... learnt a most wonderful quote today from Dr Lewis Smedes, in "Forgive and Forget"

"Revenge never evens the score, for alienated people never keep score of wrongs by the same mathematics. Forgiveness is the ONLY way to stop the cycle of unfair pain turning in your memory."

It's this same forgiveness that we must first have to see that we do will somehow fail another person, in whatever we do or in our speech, we need to acknowledge the fact that no matter how hard it seems to not to keep score, not to hold on to the right that you must be upset, or that the right to feel wronged.Freedom comes when we call onto the Lord!

My dear AS, you ARE in my prayers...

FINISHED 12 ASSIGNMENTS!

Yes, dear ladies and gentlemen, I have FINISHED my share of assignments for this semester. The moment when I slapped my IT Assignment CD on the table to my tutor during the timeslot today, I was ECSTATIC! No words can describe the feeling of huge relief that I felt.

All the Madness, late nights, all the discussions and word processing...wah...I have become an "assignment generator"!!

BUT WAIT....WAIT...assignments over...BUT my first English Paper is tomorrow! 2nd Nov...oppps!

*gasp* :P

Love-the driving force behind this run???

I underestimated the driving force of Love to me when I found myself,

Pushing the limits to run past my own stamina to hit the ends of East Coast Park yesterday to chase after a particular sickly sister, who ran alone, hitting way past 10km and having bad muscle aches now

I underestimated what Love can do to me, when I found myself,

Doing things that I would never imagine myself doing, like running like the wind in my flip flops (Sky Train not working la!:S) from Changi Terminal 2 to Terminal 1 after fetching a bro to send another bro off to his trip, to catch him before he leaves...

I underestimated the magnitude of Love that my parents had for me when

I saw that they always kept food for me even when I reach home late at night, and my dad will ALWAYS wait up for me, it really gives a warm fuzzy feeling all at once...

I underestimate the power of Love that can do to my soul when,

It propels me to pray, to worry, to shed tears, to simply think about the people I care for, to go to that person in need even when I am dead tired...

I underestimate what motivating force that Love has on me, when

I picked up playing the violin again after a span of 12 years at age 24, I made myself learn the guitar at age 23 all in a bid to learn to worship God better, to learn to adore God better,to learn to love God better...

I underestimate the sweetness of God's Love when,

In more ways than one, He has watched over me in my down times, He has blessed me with small rewards to let me know that He is still there, He healed me of my hurts and pain, He healed me of my sickness, He speaks to me and is the one I hold on to!

I underestimated the ultimate source of Love when,

I finally realised how much Christ loves us and died for our sins, the ugliness of my sins, my petty "crimes" that I have committed, the foul words that I have spoken, the evil thoughts that I have kept in my mind..WOW blows my mind everytime...I could only ask for His continuous Grace on me...

What has Love propelled you to do today? :)

NOSTALGIA TIME! 5 years mark in HOPE!

Five Years have past...I have rededicated my life to join a church, after having been a runaway sheep for years... It's been FIVE years with HOPE! *drum roll*

Been through 5 years of ministry in Hope, many laughter and of course tears...At the end of it all, you really appreciate those who have seen through with you all these years...Unearthed some really old pics of my fellow brothers and sisters (again!)...had a good laugh at some of them! So be nice to me or they would be slowly released to the world! (*evil laughter)...nah, I love God and His people too!

Do reminisce with me for those who have walked with me ...*pat on the back*!
Let's look forward to many more years to come eh?


Love you all!

The Year of testing

Ever been through a year or so, months on end that you feel that you are being tested through and through? Everytime I was weighed down by the events that were happening to me, the gruelling of running the Christian race is never easy, I really want to cry. I want to cry real bad.

Poy mentioned that CG night, "Wah, being a Christian is not easy ah!" I told Jeannie also, "When heavy people fall, the impact on the fall on them is very big."
I meant literally of course, but when I thought back of the statements made..WOW something struck.
It's like months on end I seem to be going through things, struggling in between jobs, finances stretched, emotions tested through and through and stress from work and studies. Getting a bit inward looking I know, but all these are like burdens that weighed on your back, the wounds which cut your skin left scars and scratches. You still have remnants of it on your body after each saga.

I am getting "heavier" by all these, and I don't wanna fall. Really, its scary just to even think about it. The impact on yourself would be too great. Really need to daily release all these burdens to God! Of course there are tons of people worse off than me...but this is not a pity party....I ask myself,"How do I last the race?" Throwing in the towel is easy but its like being an escapist. A recent spate of events that happened to me can really make my hair turn grey. I was caught off guard, I wasn't prepared for this, Lord how do handle this? Stress levels hit an all time high, I was talking gibberish, my hands are shaking, I could not really think straight. What I thought I had overcome again, resurfaced in a totally new incident, GOd spoke to me, THAT is my stronghold.

Been reading Acts 24-26 about Paul being brought to trial before Felix, Fetus and the Caesar. He was tested, gruelling interrogations, at one point he could have got off the whole thing with a bribe but he chose to hang on. Two years plus of imprisonment and trial after trial...got me thinking, Will I succumb when tempted or deprived of something which is my stronghold? (hahah think I can hear a certain policeman's voice,"YOU MUST WEEN OFF COFFEE!")

Really tired, even as I write this, tears are welling in my eyes...Read this passage today and am greatly encouraged, made me wanna do something about the condition of my heart,

"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perished even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honour when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Though you have not seen Him, you love Him and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls"

1 Peter 1:6-9

I am hanging on to the hope cos Jesus say so, I need to rejoice in what I am going through cos I know that at the end of it, I will receive the GOAL, God's divine and wonderful GOAL for me in my life. I am praying for myself to be rejoicing to be tested in this manner, cos these are the times that my faith is stretched even more, its like you step into something you are absolutely afraid of but you need to go through it with faith. Sometimes, you need to do it, not just for yourself, but for the people around you, for the people that really matters to you, for GOD!

Hang on Rac!

What I wanted to be when I grow up...

When I was growing up I had many dreams and aspirations.
Come to think of it, some of them are so farnie!!

I can remember during my Primary 1 or 2 days when the teacher would tell us to draw something that we wanted to be when we grow up..it was like the most asked question that my parents would coax me into answering day in and day out...

I remember the first time I drew a pic of my dream career, can you believe it I wanted to be a - POLICEMAN! I remember vividly striding into the Police Post one fine day with my Papa cos he wanted to report a minor accident with his car, think I was 6 or 7, I boldly told the PC in charge that, "Uncle, I want to be a POLICEMAN!" (I spot super short hair and my dad dressed me up like a boy) He bent down and talked to me like a adult to a child would and went,"You sure you want to be a Policeman? You dare to touch DEAD BODY?" not knowing what I was in for, I answered, "YES!"

Years later, i knew I would stray for this childhood ambition, after watching too much Crime Watch and saw all the horrible murders, and yes..seeing for myself TWO DBs! Blood splattered at the void deck from my block when some distressed ppl chose to commit suicide there..

Okay too much info, my next farnie ambition was to be a SIA girl! Always tell myself that I am tall enough and I shall apply to be a "Singapore girl" hee hee...cannot lor, me too "chor lor"...But was thinking, how nice it would be to fly all over the world and see places!

Then, I wanted to be an engineer, I struggled in my studies thru my engineer course, it was only until the final year did I finally found what I like about my studies, the Environmental Engineering part...:) Water treatment, Wastewater research, remembering the lab days when I ran samples after samples of "sh*t water". There was this prof in uni who inspired me a lot into this field, his name is Prof Appan. He made me so passionate about my research that I wanted to get a job into it after I grad, but sad to say, think the path that God has chosen for me was to be so different...

Remember a particular beer advertisement sometime back I think the guy in it goes,"My father was an engineer, and so was my father's father, But I am someone different..."

I can quote, "My father is an teacher and so is my mother, I am going to be one and so is my youngest sister!" Self fulfilling prophecy...:P These days, I am glad that the Lord has led me to where I am...:)

But there's this one HUGE dream since sec days till my early uni days on what I really wanted to be...I wanted to be a singer!! I love singing and love to add my own versions to any songs that I came across in the past. I would sing in the shower, I would sing on the way home, I would make up a song with any word that my friend's conversations end with, sometimes i write my own songs..I joined singing competitions in school, Hall Sing and strum group, Choir and really love KTV!!

Unearthed this next video of me and my sis Kerri when I was searching for a lost CD.. FIVE YEARS ago in Sep 2001 where she came to my hall to sing with me...I was not really part of HOPE yet, being a fringe member...wahaha...check out the geeky hairstyle and my shot at "stardom"!! Enjoy!

Weird dreams...waking up to reality

Been encountering weird dreams earlier this week, distinctly heard a voice speaking into the picture and have seen clearly the face of a certain leader in the church...

Why this dream God? Has it manifested itself from what I have been constantly pondering in my mind to become in my dreams? Chinese say, "Ye4 chang2 mong4 duo1"
Woke up with a smile actually but at the same time feeling weird all over...

It's a very surreal feeling when sometimes what you dream come to pass and you have that "deja vu" feeling and you pray that its something that God wants to speak to you about. But that series of dreams...too abstract..something I dun quite understand... but I do know that the Lord is in charge of the situation. Somehow deep in my heart I hope and pray for that to happen...:P

The reality is not so easy, hardly so sweet as the dream but we have the LORD! :D

NIE is really tough, I witnessed colleagues breaking down under the stress, going "gila" in lectures, and simply talking gibberish when they try to talk to you. Some are mothers, others are fathers, breadwinners of the family, worrying over their child's PSLE and if someone has fallen sick of the family, anxiety and stress started to plaster all over the person's face. Recent spate of "throwing the letter of resignation" has occurred in the heat of assignments.

I wonder, studying in a high-strung environment, a distinctive college they call it, only to come out into another stress oven in the school environment. I question myself more and more, God to convict me, God to see me through this stress, Lord Jesus to help me bask in His love and glory to see me through. Hard questions everyday, do I really want to go through all these?

Then, I remembered my kids, my dear boys from that white-washed school in Bartley Rd, i remember every single face, every single friend that touched my heart in that school. Every prayer and every situation that I walked with the Lord in that little school. I was encouraged. I want to go back there. I miss them...

Dedicated to my little "dears"...

I'd know I'll Always ... by Rachel Tham

I'd know I'll always walk with a little skip in my gait

When I remember your smile upon me at the gate

I'd know I'll always dream of going back to the same place,

When I seem to retrace every incident back to where it began.

I'd know I'll always melt in my heart,

When I remember your voice, your face, your sweet sweet spirit,

I'd know I'll always ring in my ears,

With the sounds of your singing and jokes,

I'd know I'll always imagine being with you,

When I always look beside me to remember the times you walk with me,

I'd know I'll always pray for you,

Pray that each day with the Lord would be full of joy!

I'd know I'll always miss you, think of you, love you ALL.....

When my lips curl up when I talk about you,

I'd know I'll always cherish and wish you all the best

In all that you are ever going to do...

I'd know I'll always.....like you!

Let pictures do the talking....what happ in the past 2 weeks..

Create Your Own!

Woke up from a deep deep sleep...

Ever experienced this before, yourself working on an assignment or project continuously for a few days, not eating much or sleeping only at most 3 hours a day?
Then when you are finally done, you presented your stuff and you are like so so drained?

This is what just happened to me...I think the total number of hours I clocked this week on sleep is really less than 48 hours. So drained...I had my English presentation today, its one where each pair of teacher trainees will take over the tutor's role and give basically a lesson. We are to teach the class a particular topic. All research work and materials we are to collate ourselves and it takes up 20% of our curriculum

Me and my partner talked for a cool 2 hours, showing videos and giving our presentation. This is really not easy.. can imagine now how the Pastors talked on stage for so long... on one hand you have to engage your audience, another hand you have to explain and present your point across in a logical manner.

The moment my presentation ended at 230pm today...I don't know what happened after that.
I must have been living in a state of semi-conscious mind, i staggered to my last tutorial class of the day, slept through a good part of it, I remembered the previous day I had gone without food since morning working on the assignment..
I slept in my car pool.. and when i reached home I told my Auntie not to wake me up for dinner and fell into a deep deep sleep only to wake up at 12am to realise that the world has spun 5 and half hours. Not exactly feeling the sense of loss cos got more things coming up.

I had presented on teaching a particular text genre on expositions to children and on expanding the children's imagination by teaching them to write argumentative essays. Have attached the following video:

Some background, The teacher had told the kids to draw whatever comes to their mind. And this kid just kept on colouring everything black.A frightening scene for her.. Appalled the teacher sought the parent's help, psychiatrists' help...
The poor kid went into an asylum until the teacher discovered a trait of the kid...

Watch to the end...blew my mind on this one...in Japanese

Something that I just learnt and re-learnt

2 Corinthians 5:20

"We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God."

Just read a short but powerful and inspiring blog entry by Zhu Zhu and reaffirmed the perspective of God once again in my life.

What does it mean to be an ambassador for Christ? Means our lives, wholly representing Him and live out in His will through His grace and guidance.
How many times have God spoken to me and I have not taken Him at His Word? Saying, "Yes, Lord! Here I am, send me!" to simply to trust, to carry out and to just obey...

I let it slip too many times, Be reconciled to God, bridging this gap, drawing Him closer once again...

Taking a break from Mad Rush of 12 assignments...

Yesh, this is crazy, i am sleep deprived, i have bad skin and yesh i look bad...

Study is tough and I am hanging on to God for dear life..

Today we had an rather interesting English class on rewriting sentences using better discriptive language. I am sure you all have seen it in the pri school English papers on joining two sentences together....

Well, some of the guys in the class managed to churn out really beautiful sentences, sure bet that they write really romantic love letter to their wives...:P

Okay, here are some sentences :

Question 1: The wind blew. John got cold.
Example: The icy wind blew strongly, making John feel like he was in a freezer.

Question 2: Carrie stood at the bus-stop. She was upset.

Rewriting 1: Carrie waited nervously at the bus-stop, sobbing quietly to herself.

Rachel's version: As she stood all alone at the bus-stop, the loneliness in Carrie's heart was not doing anything to stop tears from falling down her cheeks.

Question 3: The athlete ran. He won the race.
Rewriting 1: (This one takes the cake, by my classmate)The super-human athlete raced like lightning across the finishing line, breaking the ribbon in a flourish.

Question 4: She drank her coffee. She was thinking.

Rachel's version: Sipping her morning cuppa, she contemplated the day's events.

Question 5: Peter looked at the bully. He did not like him.
Rewriting 1: (another winner from the same guy) Peter stared swords and daggers at the very personification of evil at the corner, wishing the building will fall and crush him.

Rachel's version: Peter growled at the boy at the corner, the very presence of him made his hair stand on end.

Question 6: Wendy walked into the room. It was hot.

Rachel's version: Wendy walked into what seemed like a furnace of a room, with beads of perspiration plastered to the shirt on her back.

Now you try!

Question 7: Bruno was a dog. He barked at strangers.

Question 8: It rained all day. I thought it wouldn't stop.